From f1106d136ec3cfe9a07774546b782ca8eb316333 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: PatR Date: Thu, 12 Nov 2015 01:47:04 -0800 Subject: [PATCH] tribute: Going Postal --- dat/tribute | 172 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++-- 1 file changed, 166 insertions(+), 6 deletions(-) diff --git a/dat/tribute b/dat/tribute index 9fd099653..89ac2d4f4 100644 --- a/dat/tribute +++ b/dat/tribute @@ -3934,14 +3934,174 @@ is 'me'?" # # # -%title Going Postal (1) +%title Going Postal (13) %passage 1 +What was magic, after all, but something that happened at the snap of +a finger? Where was the magic in that? It was mumbled words and weird +drawings in old books and in the wrong hands it was dangerous as hell, +but not one half as dangerous as it could be in the right hands. -What was magic, after all, but something that happened at the -snap of a finger? Where was the magic in that? It was mumbled -words and weird drawings in old books and in the wrong hands it -was dangerous as hell, but not one half as dangerous as it could -be in the right hands. + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 5 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 2 +They say that the prospect of being hanged in the morning concentrates +a man's mind wonderfully; unfortunately, what the mind inevitably +concentrates on is that, in the morning, it will be in a body that is +going to be hanged. + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 18 +%passage 3 +There is a saying, "You can't fool an honest man," which is much quoted +by people who make a profitable living by fooling honest men. Moist +never tried it, knowingly anyway. If you did fool an honest man, he +tended to complain to the local Watch, and these days they were harder +to buy off. Fooling dishonest men was a lot safer, and somehow, more +sporting. And, of course, there were so many more of them. You hardly +had to aim. + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 47 (passage starts mid-paragraph; +# italics because it's Moist von Lipwig's internal monolog) +%passage 4 +/What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch +of government? Apart from, say, the average voter./ + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 137 +%passage 5 +Now he could see the mysterious order clearly. They were robed, of course, +because you couldn't have a secret order without robes. They had pushed +the hoods back now, and each man(1) was wearing a peaked cap with a bird +skeleton wired to it. + +(1) Women are always significantly underrepresented in secret orders. + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 184 ('Tubso' and 'Bissonomy' are accurate) +%passage 6 +Just below the dome, staring down from their niches, were statues of the +Virtues: Patience, Chastity, Silence, Charity, Hope, Tubso, Bissonomy,(1) +and Fortitude. + +(1) Many cultures practice neither of these in the hustle and bustle of +the modern world, because no one can remember what they are. + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 249-250 (Moist and Miss Dearheart are in a fancy restaurant) +%passage 7 +She froze, staring over his shoulder. He saw her right hand scrabble +frantically among the cutlery and grab a knife. + +"That bastard has just walked into the place!" she hissed. "Reacher Gilt! +I'll just kill him and join you for the pudding..." + +"You can't do that!" hissed Moist. + +"Oh? Why not?" + +"You're using the wrong knife! That's for the fish! You'll get into +trouble!" + +She glared at him, but her hand relaxed, and something like a smile +appeared on her face. + +"They don't have a knife for stabbing rich, murdering bastards?" she said. + +"They bring it to the table when you order one," said Moist urgently. +"Look, this isn't the Drum, they don't just throw the body into the river! +They'll call the Watch! Get a grip. Not on a knife! And get ready to +run." + +"Why?" + +"Because I forged his signature on Grand Trunk notepaper to get us in +here, that's why." + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp 260-261 (Mr. Groat: elderly postal employee recently attacked in +# the palacial but severely dilapidated post office; +# "his imagination": Moist's; "him": Mr. Groat; "he": Moist) +%passage 8 +The vision of Mr. Groat's chest kept bumping insistently against his +imagination. It looked as though something with claws had taken a swipe +at him, and only the thick uniform coat prevented him from being opened +like a clam. But that didn't sound like a vampire. They weren't messy +like that. It was a waste of good food. + +Nevertheless, he picked up a piece of smashed chair. It had splintered +nicely. And the nice thing about a stake through the heart was that it +also worked on non-vampires. + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 262 (Stanley, a young postal employee who collects pins, recently +# fought off /something/ using a bag of pins as a weapon) +# [this passage doesn't have a very satisfactory ending...] +%passage 9 +You probably couldn't /kill/ a vampire with pins... + +And after a thought like that is when you realize that however hard you +try to look behind you, there's a behind you, behind you, where you aren't +looking. Moist flung his back to the cold stone wall where he slithered +along it until he ran out of wall and acquired a doorframe. + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +#p. 278 ('thoughted' and 'thoughting' are accurate) +%passage 10 +"Oh, Mr. Lipwig!" + +It is not often that a wailing woman rushes into a room and throws herself +at a man. It had never happened to Moist before. Now it happened, and it +seemed such a waste that the woman was Miss Maccalariat. + +She tottered forward and clung to the startled Moist, tears streaming down +her face. + +"Oh, Mr. Lipwig!" she wailed. "Oh, Mr. Lipwig!" + +Moist reeled under her weight. She was dragging at his collar so hard +that he was likely to end up on the floor, and the thought of being found +on the floor with Miss Maccalariat was--well, a thought that just couldn't +be thoughted. The head would explode before thoughting it. + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +#p. 315 +%passage 11 +Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same +crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show. + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 326 (homage to "To Have and Have Not"; Lauren Bacall's character says +# to Humphrey Bogart's character, "You know how to whistle, don't +# you Steve? Just put your lips together and--blow." +# Miss Dearheart's slight pause seems better placed...) +%passage 12 +Miss Dearheart stubbed out her cigarette. "Go up there tonight, Mr. Lipwig. +Get yourself a little bit closer to heaven. And then get down on your +knees and pray. You know how to pray, don't you? You just put your hands +together--and hope." + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 333 ('crackers' have been sending and receiving clandestine clacks +# messages without owners/operators of the clacks network noticing) +%passage 13 +It was a little like stealing. It was exactly like stealing. It was, in +fact, stealing. But there was no law against it, because no one knew the +crime existed, so is it really stealing if what's stolen isn't missed? +And is it stealing if you're stealing from thieves? Anyway, all property +is theft, except mine. [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -- 2.40.0