From 872c8e292cdc98570df679306fb9eb580dcd44e5 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: PatR Date: Sat, 18 Jul 2015 19:36:51 -0700 Subject: [PATCH] tribute: Interesting Times I have several psssages for Maskerade too, but after the time and effort spent fixing up the ones already present for that book, they'll have to wait until some other occasion. --- dat/tribute | 324 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++--------- 1 file changed, 268 insertions(+), 56 deletions(-) diff --git a/dat/tribute b/dat/tribute index cca9e4fdb..e0fb4abde 100644 --- a/dat/tribute +++ b/dat/tribute @@ -1063,25 +1063,151 @@ The Chair came down slowly, occasionally glancing fearfully up the stairs. # # # -%title Interesting Times (2) +%title Interesting Times (10) +# p.1 (footnote) %passage 1 -Whatever happens, they say afterwards, it must have been fate. -People are always a little confused about this, as they are in -the case of miracles. When someone is saved from certain death -by a strange concatenation of circumstances, they say that's a -miracle. But of course if someone is killed by a freak chain of -events -- the oil spilled just there, the safety fence broken -just there -- that must also be a miracle. Just because it's +Whatever happens, they say afterwards, it must have been fate. People are +always a little confused about this, as they are in the case of miracles. +When someone is saved from certain death by a strange concatenation of +circumstances, they say that's a miracle. But of course if someone is +killed by a freak chain of events--the oil spilled just there, the safety +fence broken just there--that must also be a miracle. Just because it's not nice doesn't mean it's not miraculous. [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage +# p. 18 %passage 2 -"Oh, no," said the Lecturer in Recent Runes, pushing his chair back. -"Not that. That's meddling with things you don't understand." -"Well, we are wizards," said Ridcully. "We're supposed to meddle in -things we don't understand. If we hung around waitin' till we -understood things we'd never get anything done." +"Oh, no," said the Lecturer in Recent Runes, pushing his chair back. "Not +that. That's meddling with things you don't understand." + +"Well, we /are/ wizards," said Ridcully. "We're supposed to meddle with +things we don't understand. If we hung around waitin' till we understood +things we'd never get anything done." + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 4 +%passage 3 +According to the philosopher Ly Tin Wheedle, chaos is found in greatest +abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because +it is better organized. + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 14 +%passage 4 +Many things went on at Unseen University and, regretably, teaching had to +be one of them. The faculty had long ago confronted this fact and had +perfected various devices for avoiding it. But this was perfectly all +right because, to be fair, so had the students. + +The system worked quite well and, as happens in such cases, had taken on +the status of a tradition. Lectures clearly took place, because they +were down there on the timetable in black and white. The fact that no one +attended was an irrelevant detail. It was occasionally maintained that +this meant that the lectures did not in fact happen at all, but no one ever +attended them to find out if this was true. Anyway, it was argued (by the +Reader in Woolly Thinking(1)) that lectures had taken place /in essence/, +so that was all right, too. + +And therefore education at the University mostly worked by the age-old +method of putting a lot of young people in the vicinty of a lot of books +and hoping that something would pass from one to the other, while the +actual young people put themselves in the vicinity of inns and taverns +for exactly the same reason. + +(1) Which is like Fuzzy Logic, only less so. + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 20 (speaker is Archchancellor Ridcully; sad, hopless person is Rincewind) +%passage 5 +"Wizzard?" he said. "What kind of sad, hopeless person needs to write +WIZZARD on their hat?" + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 113 +%passage 6 +Self-doubt was something not regularly entertained within the Cohen cranium. +When you're trying to carry a struggling temple maiden and a sack of looted +temple goods in one hand and fight off half a dozen angry priests with the +other there is little time for reflection. Natural selection saw to it +that professional heroes who at a crucial moment tended to ask themselves +questions like "What is the purpose of life?" very quickly lacked both. + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 113 (same page as previous passage...) +%passage 7 +Cohen's father had taken him to a mountain top, when he was no more than a +lad, and explained to him the hero's creed and told him that there was no +greater joy than to die in battle. + +Cohen had seen the flaw in this straight away, and a lifetime's experience +had reinforced his belief that in fact a greater joy was to kill the /other/ +bugger in battle and end up sitting on a heap of gold higher than your +horse. It was an observation that had served him well. + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 144 +%passage 8 +"'Dang'?" he said. "Wassat mean? And what's this 'darn' and 'heck'?" + +"They are ... /civilised/ swearwords." said Mr. Saveloy. + +"Well, you can take 'em and--" + +"Ah?" said Mr. Saveloy, raising a cautionary finger. + +"You can shove them up--" + +"Ah?" + +"You can--" + +"An?" + +Truckle shut his eyes and clenched his fists. + +"Darn it all to heck!" he shouted. + +"Good," said Mr. Saveloy. "That's much better." + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 219 (sic: "Dedd") +%passage 9 +The taxman was warming to his new job. He'd worked out that although the +Horde, as individuals, had acquired mountains of cash in their careers as +barbarian heroes they'd lost almost all of it engaging in the other +activities (he mentally catalogued these as Public Relations) necessary to +the profession, and therefore were entitled to quite a considerable rebate. + +The fact that they were registered with no revenue collecting authority +/anywhere/(1) was entirely a secondary point. It was the principle that +counted. And the interest, too, of course. + +(1) Except on posters with legends like "Wanted--Dedd". + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 297 +%passage 10 +"What do we do now?" said Mr. Saveloy. "Do we do a battle chant or +something?" + +"We just wait," said Cohen. + +"There's a lot of waiting in warfare," said Boy Willie. + +"Ah, yes," said Mr. Saveloy. "I've heard people say that. They say +there's long periods of boredom followed by short periods of excitement." + +"Not really," said Cohen. "It's more like short periods of waiting +followed by long periods of being dead." [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage @@ -1090,87 +1216,173 @@ understood things we'd never get anything done." # # %title Maskerade (4) +# pp. 81-82, continued on pp. 87-89 (Harper Torch edition; apparently +# transcribed from some other edition based on quote marks used; +# a great number of very short paragraphs--it stretches a long way +# when using a blank line to separate one paragraph from another; +# one omitted bit is that after Granny suffles the deck of cards +# and deals two poker hands, Death swaps them, suggesting that +# he suspected her of cheating; initial transcription left off +# the most interesting bit, Death's wink at the end) %passage 1 -'Maybe you could... help us?' +'Maybe you could ... help us?' + 'What's wrong?' -'It's my boy...' -Granny opened the door further and saw the womand standing behind Mr. Slot. -One look at her face was enough. There was a bundle in her arms. Granny -stepped back. 'Bring him in and let me have a look at him.' She took the - baby from the woman, sat down on the room's one chair, and pulled back the -blanket. 'Hmm,' said Granny, after a while. -'There's a curse on this house, that's what it is,' said Slot. 'My best -cow's been taken mortally sick, too.' 'Oh? You have a cowshed?' siad - Granny. 'Very good place for a sick-room, a cowshed. It's the warmth. You -better show me were it is.' 'You want to take the boy down there?' + +'It's my boy ...' + +Granny opened the door farther and saw the woman standing behind Mr. Slot. +One look at her face was enough. There was a bundle in her arms. + +Granny stepped back. 'Bring him in and let me have a look at him.' + +She took the baby from the woman, sat down on the room's one chair, and +pulled back the blanket. Nanny Ogg peered over her shoulder. + +'Hmm,' said Granny, after a while. She glanced at Nanny, who gave an +almost imperceptible shake of her head. + +'There's a curse on this house, that's what it is,' said Slot. 'My best +cow's been taken mortally sick, too.' + +'Oh? You have a cowshed?' said Granny. 'Very good place for a sickroom, +a cowshed. It's the warmth. You better show me where it is.' + +'You want to take the boy down there?' + 'Right now.' + [...] + 'How many have you come for?' + ONE. + 'The cow?' + Death shook his head. -'It could be the cow.' -NO. THAT WOULD BE CHANGING HISTORY. + +'It could /be/ the cow.' + +NO. THAT WOULD BE CHANGING HISTORY. + 'History is about things changing.' + NO. + Granny sat back. -'Then I challenge you to a game. That's traditional. That's /allowed/.' + +'Then I challenge you to a game. That's traditional. That's /allowed/.' + Death was silent for a moment. + THIS IS TRUE. + 'Good.' -HOWEVER... YOU UNDERSTAND THAT TO WIN ALL YOU MUST GAMBLE ALL? -'Double or quits? Yes, I know.' + +CHALLENGING ME BY MEANS OF A GAME IS ALLOWABLE. + +"Yes." + +HOWEVER ... YOU UNDERSTAND THAT TO WIN ALL YOU MUST GAMBLE ALL? + +'Double or quits? Yes, I know.' + BUT NOT CHESS. + 'Can't abide chess.' -OR CRIPPLE MR ONION. I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE RULES. -'Very well. How about one hand of poker? Five cards each, no draws? Sudden -death, as they say.' Death thought about this, too. + +OR CRIPPLE MR. ONION. I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE RULES. + +'Very well. How about one hand of poker? Five cards each, no draws? +Sudden death, as they say.' + +Death thought about this, too. + YOU KNOW THIS FAMILY? + 'No.' + THEN WHY? + 'Are we talking or are we playing?' + OH, VERY WELL. + + [...] + Granny looked at her cards, and threw them down. -FOUR QUEENS. HMM. THAT /IS/ VERY HIGH. + +FOUR QUEENS. HMM. THAT /IS/ VERY HIGH. + Death looked down at his cards, and then up into Granny's steady, blue-eyed -gaze. Neither moved for some time. +gaze. + +Neither moved for some time. + Then Death laid the hand on the table. -I LOSE. ALL I HAVE IS FOUR ONES. + +I LOSE, he said. ALL I HAVE IS FOUR ONES. + +He looked back into Granny's eyes for a moment. There was a blue glow in +the depth of his eye-sockets. Maybe, for the merest fraction of a second, +barely noticeable even to the closest observation, one winked off. [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage +# p. 67 (Harper Torch edition; as above, transcribed from some other edition) %passage 2 -Ahahahahaha! -Ahahahaha! -Aahahaha! -BEWARE!!!!! -Yrs sincerely, -The Opera Ghost -'What sort of person,' said Salzella, 'sits down and /writes/ a maniacal -laugh? And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of -someone who wears his underpants on his head. Opera can do that to a man.' +The letter inside was on a sheet of the Opera House's own note paper. +In neat, copperplate writing, it said: + + Ahahahahaha! Ahahahaha! Aahahaha! + BEWARE!!!!! + + Yrs sincerely + The Opera Ghost + +'What sort of person,' said Salzella patiently, 'sits down and /writes/ a +maniacal laugh? And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A +sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head. Opera can do +that to a man.' [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage +# pp. 30-31 (Harper Torch edition) %passage 3 Agnes had woken up one morning with the horrible realization that she'd -been saddled with a lovely personality. It was the lack of choice that -rankled. No one had asked her, before she was born, whether she wanted a -lovely personality or whether she'd prefer, say, a miserable personality -but a body that could take size 9 in dresses. Instead, people would take -pains to tell her that beauty was only skin-deep, as if a man ever fell -for an attractive pair of kidneys. +been saddled with a lovely personality. It was as simple as that. Oh, +and very good hair. + +It wasn't so much the personality, it was the "but" people always added +when they talked about it. /But she's got a lovely personality/, they +said. It was the lack of choice that rankled. No one had asked her, +before she was born, whether she wanted a lovely personality or whether +she'd prefer, say, a miserable personality but a body that could take +size nine in dresses. Instead, people would take pains to tell her that +beauty was only skin-deep, as if a man ever fell for an attractive pair +of kidneys. [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage +# p. 258 %passage 4 'And what can I get you, officers?' she said. -'Officers? Us? What makes you think we're watchment?' -'He's got a helmet on,' Nanny pointed out. -'Milit'ry chic,' Nobby said. 'It's just a fashion accessory. Actually, we -are gentlemen of means and have nothing to do with the City Watch -whatsoever.' 'Well, /gentlemen/, would you like some wine?' -'Not while we on duty, t'anks', said the troll. + +'Officers? Us?' said the Count de Nobbes. 'What makes you think we're +watchmen?' + +'He's got a helmet on,' Nanny pointed out. 'Also, he's got his badge +pinned to his coat.' + +'I /told/ you to put it away!' Nobby hissed. He looked at Nanny and +smiled uneasily. 'Milit'ry chic,' he said. 'It's just a fashion +accessory. Actually, we are gentlemen of means and have nothing to do +with the city Watch whatsoever.' + +'Well, /gentlemen/, would you like some wine?' + +'Not while we on duty, t'anks,' said the troll. [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -- 2.40.0