From 67e602972371ff5fd2feb54339291422d6955fe8 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: PatR Date: Sun, 27 Dec 2015 01:46:12 -0800 Subject: [PATCH] tribute: Snuff --- dat/tribute | 252 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++- doc/fixes36.1 | 2 +- 2 files changed, 248 insertions(+), 6 deletions(-) diff --git a/dat/tribute b/dat/tribute index f73ff0787..6f19a1d03 100644 --- a/dat/tribute +++ b/dat/tribute @@ -5265,17 +5265,259 @@ ag-rreeeed arr-angement, ye ken!" # # # -%title Snuff (2) +%title Snuff (16) +# p. 168 (Harper edition; 'ax' is spelled without the 'e' there...) %passage 1 They were crude weapons, to be sure, but a flint axe hitting your head does -not need a degree in physics. +not need a degree in physics. [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage %passage 2 -It is a strange thing to find yourself doing something you -have apparently always wanted to do, when in fact up until -that moment you had never known that you always wanted to do it... +It is a strange thing to find yourself doing something you have apparently +always wanted to do, when in fact up until that moment you had never known +that you always wanted to do it... + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 2 (the subject is goblins) +%passage 3 +At this point, Lord Vetinari, Patrician of Ankh-Morpork, stopped reading +and stared at nothing. After a few seconds, nothing was eclipsed by the +form of Drumknott, his secretary (who, it must be said, had spent a career +turning himself as much like nothing as anything). + +Drumknott said, "You look pensive, my lord," to which observation he +appended a most delicate question mark, which gradually evaporated. + +"Awash with tears, Drumknott, awash with tears." + +Drumknott stopped dusting the impeccably shiny black lacquered desk. +"Pastor Oats is a very persuasive writer, isn't he, sir...?" + +"Indeed he is, Drumknott, but the basic problem remains and it is this: +humanity may come to terms with the dwarf, the troll and even the orc, +terrifying though all these have proved to be at times, and you know why +this is, Drumknott?" + +The secretary carefully folded the duster he had been using and looked at +the ceiling. "I would venture to suggest, my lord, that in their violence +we recognize ourselves?" + +"Oh, well done, Drumknott, I shall make a cynic of you yet! Predators +respect other predators, do they not? They may perhaps even respect the +prey: the lion may lie down with the lamb, even if only the lion is +likely to get up again, but the lion will not lie down with the rat. +Vermin, Drumknott, an entire race reduced to vermin!" + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 6 +%passage 4 +Vimes grunted. "Where there are policemen there's crime, sergeant, +remember that." + +"Yes, I do, sir, although I think it sounds better with a little reordering +of the words." + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 46-47 (passage starts mid-paragraph and ends mid-paragraph; it's a +# long slog for a weak punchline...) +%passage 5 +"[...] The third earl, 'Mad' Jack Ramkin, had a brother called +Woolsthorpe, probably for his sins. He was something of a scholar and +would have been sent to the university to become a wizard were it not for +the fact that his brother let it be known that any male sibling of his who +took up a profession that involved wearing a dress would be disinherited +with a cleaver. + +"Nevertheless, young Woolsthorpe persevered in his studies in natural +philosophy in the way a gentleman should, by digging into any suspicious- +looking burial mounds he could find in the neighborhood, filling up his +lizard press with as many rare species as he could collect, and drying +samples of any flowers he could find before they became extinct. The +story runs that, on one warm summer day, he dozed off under an apple tree +and was awakened when an apple fell on his head. A lesser man, as his +biographer put it, would have seen nothing untoward about this, but +Woolsthorpe surmised that, since apples and practically everything else +always fell down, then the world would eventually become dangerously +unbalanced... unless there was another agency involved that natural +philosophy had yet to discover. He lost no time in dragging one of the +footmen to the orchard and ordering him, on the pain of dismissal, to lie +under the tree until an apple hit him on the head! The possibility of +this happening was increased by another footman who had been told by +Woolsthorpe to shake the tree vigorously until the required apple fell. +Woolsthorpe was ready to observe this from a distance. + +"Who can imagine his joy when the inevitable apple fell and a second apple +was seen rising from the tree and disappearing at speed into the vaults of +heaven, proving the hypothesis that what goes up must come down, provided +that what goes down must come up, thus safeguarding the equilibrium of the +Universe. Regrettably, this only works with apples and, amazingly, only +the apples on this one tree, /Malus equilibria/! I hear that someone has +worked out that the apples at the top of the tree fill with gas and fly up +when the tree is disturbed so that it can set its seeds some way off. +Wonderful thing, nature, shame the fruit tastes like dog's business," +Willikins added as Young Sam spat some out. [...] + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 100 +%passage 6 +"Look, Willikins, I don't like to involve you in all this. It's only a +hunch, after all." + +Willikins waved this away. "You wouldn't keep me out of it for a big +clock, sir, because all this is tickling my fancy as well. I shall lay +out a selection of cutting edges for you in your dressing room, sir, and I +myself will go up to the copse half an hour before you're due to be there, +with my trusty bow and an assortment of favorite playthings. It's nearly +full moon, clear skies, there'll be shadows everywhere, and I'll be +standing in the darkest one of them." + +Vimes looked at him for a moment and said, "Could I please amend that +suggestion? Could you not be there in the second darkest shadow one hour +before midnight, to see who steps into the darkest shadow?" + +"Ah yes, that's why you command the watch, sir," said Willikins, and to +Vimes's shock there was a hint of a tear in the man's voice. "You're +listening to the street, aren't you, sir, yes?" + +Vimes shrugged. "No streets here, Willikins." + +Willikins shook his head. "Once a street boy, always a street boy, sir. +It comes with us, in the pinch. Mothers go, fathers go--if we ever knew +who they were--but the Street, well, the Street looks after us. In the +pinch it keeps us alive." + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 116 (passage ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 7 +Well, we live and learn, Vimes thought, or perhaps more importantly, we +learn and live. [...] + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 153 +%passage 8 +In the country, there is always somebody watching you, he thought as they +sped along. Well, there was always somebody watching you in the city, too, +but that was generally in the hope that you might drop dead and they could +run off with your wallet. They were never /interested/. But here he +thought he could feel many eyes on him. Maybe they belonged to squirrels +or badgers, or whatever the damn things were that Vimes heard at night; +gorillas, possibly. + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 169-170 +%passage 9 +"Well, sir, it looks as though they're pleased to see us, yes?" + +Feeney's relief and hope should have been bottled and sold to despairing +people everywhere. Vimes just nodded, because the ranks were pulling +apart, leaving a pathway of sorts, at the end of which there was, +inarguably, a corpse. It was a mild relief to see that it was a goblin +corpse, but no corpse is good news, particularly when seen in a grimy low +light and especially for the corpse. And yet something inside him exulted +and cried /Hallelujah!/, because here was a corpse and he was a copper +and this was a crime and this place was smoky and dirty and full of +suspicious-looking goblins and here was a /crime/. His world. Yes, here +was /his/ world. + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 211 +%passage 10 +Vimes lay back in the bed, enjoying the wonderful sensation of gradually +being eaten by the pillows, and said to Sybil, "Do the Rust family have a +place down here?" + +Too late he reflected that this might be a bad move because she might well +have told him all about it on one of those occasions when, so unusally for +a married man, he was not paying much attention to what his wife was +saying, and therefore he might be the cause of grumpiness in those +precious, warm minutes before sleep. All he could see of her right now +was the very tip of her nose, as the pillows claimed her, but she mumbled, +drowsily, "Oh, they bought Hangnail Manor ten years or so ago, after the +Marquis of Fantailer murdered his wife with a pruning knife in the +pineapple house. Don't you remember? You spent weeks searching the city +for him. In the end everybody seemed to think he'd gone off to Fourecks +and disguised himself by not calling himself the Marquis of Fantailer." + +"Oh yes," said Vimes, "and I remember that a lot of his chums were quite +indignant about the investigation! They said he'd only done one murder, +and it was his wife's fault for having the bad taste to die after just one +little stab!" + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 212 (passage starts mid-paragraph and ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 11 +[...] he had heard that writers spent all day in their dressing gowns +drinking champagne.(1) [...] + +(1) This is, of course, absolutely true. + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 217 (passage starts mid-paragraph and ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 12 +"[...] and the Summoning Dark is /real/. It's not all in your head, +commander: no matter what you hear, I sometimes hear it too. Oh dear, +you of all people must recognize a substition when you're possessed by it? +It's the opposite of superstition: it's real even if you don't believe +in it. [...]" + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 233 +%passage 13 +Vimes frowned. He couldn't remember ever going into a church or a temple +or one of the numerous other places of more or less spirituality for any +other reason than the occasional requirements of the job. These days he +tended to go in for reasons of Sybil, i.e., his wife dragging him along +so that he could be seen, and, if possible, seen remaining awake. + +No, the world of next worlds, afterlives, and purgatorial destinations +simply did not fit into his head. Whether you wanted it or not, you were +born, you did the best you could, and then, whether you really wanted to +or not, you died. They were the only certainties, and so the best thing +for a copper to do was to get on with the job. And it was about time +that Sam Vimes got back to doing his. + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 254 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 14 +[...] And maybe if I distinguish myself I can get a job in the city, so +that my mum can live in a place where you don't lie awake at night +listening to the mice fighting the cockroaches--hooray!(1) + +(1) Regrettably, Constable Upshot was overly hopeful: in Ankh-Morpork the +mice and cockroaches had decided to forget their differences and gang up +on the humans. + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 403 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 15 +"[...] And I remember reading somewhere that you would arrest the gods +for doing it wrong." + +Vimes shook his head. "I'm sure I never said anything of the sort! But +law is order and order is law and it must be the highest thing. The world +runs on it, the heavens run on it and without order, lad, one second +cannot follow another." + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 404 (footnote) +%passage 16 +The sound of the gentle rattle of china cup on china saucer drives away +all demons, a little-known fact. [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage diff --git a/doc/fixes36.1 b/doc/fixes36.1 index f74d853b8..f8c07baaa 100644 --- a/doc/fixes36.1 +++ b/doc/fixes36.1 @@ -98,7 +98,7 @@ wizard mode #wizintrinsic reading non-cursed scroll of enchant weapon uncurses welded tin opener if hero has no jumping ability but knows the jumping spell, the #jump command will attempt to cast the spell -additional passages for Raising Steam +additional tribute passages for Snuff and for Raising Steam Platform- and/or Interface-Specific New Features -- 2.40.0