From 55e1a50512c83c7b2d22988bfc92cea790289ec7 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: PatR Date: Sun, 20 Sep 2015 16:31:25 -0700 Subject: [PATCH] tribute: Hogfather I changed the first quote to use the American spelling (snowplow vs snowplough) found in the edition I have on hand. Passages for several more books are still queued up. Transcribing them is very tedious. --- dat/tribute | 282 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++--- 1 file changed, 269 insertions(+), 13 deletions(-) diff --git a/dat/tribute b/dat/tribute index 745551a9d..35f431a1b 100644 --- a/dat/tribute +++ b/dat/tribute @@ -1896,23 +1896,275 @@ them. [...]" # # # -%title Hogfather (1) +%title Hogfather (10) +# p. 1 (Harper Torch edition) %passage 1 -#addition text contributed by Boudewijn -Everything starts somewhere, though many physicists disagree. +Everything starts somewhere, though many physicists disagree. + But people have always been dimly aware of the problem with the start of -things. They wonder how the snowplough driver gets to work, or how the +things. They wonder how the snowplow driver gets to work, or how the makers of dictionaries look up the spelling of words. Yet there is the -constant desire to find some point in the twisting, knotting, ravelling +constant desire to find some point in the twisting, knotting, raveling nets of space-time on which a metaphorical finger can be put to indicate -that here, /here/, is the point where it all began . . . +that here, /here/, is the point where it all began ... /Something/ began when the Guild of Assassins enrolled Mister Teatime, -who saw things differently from other people, and one of the ways that +who saw things differently from other people, and one of the ways that he saw things differently from other people was in seeing other people -as things (later, Lord Downey of the Guild said, 'We took pity on him -because he'd lost both parents at an early age. I think that, on -reflection, we should have wondered a bit more about that.') +as things (later, Lord Downey of the Guild said, "We took pity on him +because he'd lost both parents at an early age. I think that, on +reflection, we should have wondered a bit more about that.") + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 28-29 +%passage 2 +If asked to describe what they did for a living, the five men around the +table would have said something like "This and that" or "The best I can," +although in Banjo's case he'd probably have said "Dur?" They were, by the +standards of an uncaring society, criminals, although they wouldn't have +thought of themselves as such and couldn't even /spell/ words like +"nefarious." What they generally did was move things around. Sometimes +the things were on the wrong side of a steel door, or in the wrong house. +Sometimes the things were in fact people who were far too unimportant to +trouble the Assassins' Guild with, but who were nevertheless inconveniently +positioned where they were and would be much better located on, for +example, a sea bed somewhere.(1) None of the five belonged to any formal +guild and they generally found their clients among those people who, for +their own dark reasons, didn't want to put the guilds to any trouble, +sometimes because they were guild members themselves. They had plenty of +work. There was always something that needed transferring from A to B or, +of course, to the bottom of the C. + +(1) Chickenwire had got his name from his own individual contribution to +the science of this very specialized "concrete overshoe" form of waste +disposal. An unfortunate drawback of the process was the tendency for +bits of the client to eventually detach and float to the surface, causing +much comment among the general poplation. Enough chicken wire, he pointed +out, would solve that, while also allowing the ingress of crabs and fish +going about their vital recycling activities. + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 109-110 +%passage 3 +Although it was Hogswatch the University buildings were bustling. Wizards +didn't go to bed early in any case,(1) and of course there was the +Hogswatchnight Feast to look forward to at midnight. + +It would give some idea of the scale of the Hogswatchnight Feast that a +light snack at UU consisted of three or four courses, not counting the +cheese and nuts. + +Some of the wizards had been practicing for weeks. The Dean in particular +could now lift a twenty-pound turkey on one fork. Having to wait until +midnight merely put a healthy edge on appetites already professionally +honed. + +(1) Often they lived to a time scale to suit themselves. Many of the +senior ones, of course, lived entirely in the past, but several were like +the Professor of Anthropics, who had invented an entire temporal system +based on the belief that all the other ones were a mere illusion. + +Many people are aware of the Weak and Strong Anthropic Principles. The +Weak One says, basically, that it was jolly amazing of the universe to be +constructed in such a way that humans could evolve to a point where they +could make a living in, for example, universities, while the Strong One +says that, on the contrary, the whole point of the universe was that +humans should not only work in universities, but also write for huge sums +books with words like "Cosmic" and "Chaos" in the titles.(2) + +The UU Professor of Anthropics had developed the Special and Inevitable +Anthropic Principle, which was that the entire reason for the existence of +the universe was the eventual evolution of the UU Professor of Anthropics. +But this was only a formal statement of the theory which absolutely +everyone, with only some minor details of a "Fill in name here" nature, +secretly believes to be true. + +(2) And they are correct. The universe clearly operates for the benefit +of humanity. This can be readily seen by the convenient way the sun comes +up in the morning, when people are ready to start the day. + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 112-113 (we end this passage mid-paragraph...) +%passage 4 +"Watch this, sir," said Ponder. "All right, Adrian, initialize the GBL." + +"How do you do that, then?" said Ridcully, behind him. + +"It ... it means pull the great big lever," Ponder said, reluctantly. + +"Ah. Takes less time to say." + +Ponder sighed. "Yes, that's right, Archchancellor." + +He nodded to one of the students, who pulled a large red lever marked "Do +Not Pull." Gears spun, somewhere inside Hex. Little trapdoors opened in +the ant farms and millions of ants began to scurry along the networks of +glass tubing. Ponder tapped at the huge wooden keyboard. + +"Beats me how you fellows remember how to do all this stuff," said Ridcully, +still watching him with what Ponder considered to be amused interest. + +"Oh, it's largely intuitive, Archchancellor," said Ponder. "Obviously you +have to spend a lot of time learning it first, though. [...]" + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 139-140 +%passage 5 +"Tell me, Senior Wrangler, we never invited any /women/ to the +Hogswatchnight Feast, did we?" + +"Of course not, Archchancellor," said the Senior Wrangler. He looked up +in the dust-covered rafters, wondering what had caught the Archchancellor's +eye. "Good heavens, no. They'd spoil everything. I've always said so." + +"And all the maids have got the evening off until midnight?." + +"A very generous custom, I've always said," said the Senior Wrangler, +feeling his neck crick. + +"So why, every year, do we hang a damn great bunch of mistletoe up there?" + +The Senior Wrangler turned in a circle, still looking upward. + +"Well, er ... it's well, it's ... it's symbolic, Archchancellor." + +"Ah?" + +The Senior Wrangler felt that something more was expected. He groped +around in the dusty attics of his education. + +"Of ... the leaves, d'y'see ... they're symbolic of ... of green, d'y'see, +whereas the berries, in fact, yes, the berries symbolize ... symbolize +white. Yes. White and green. Very ... symbolic." + +He waited. He was not, unfortunately, disappointed. + +"What of?" + +The Senior Wrangler coughed. + +"I'm not sure there /has/ to be an /of/," he said. + +"Ah? So," said the Archchancellor thoughtfully, "it could be said that +the white and green symbolize a small parasitic plant?" + +"Yes, indeed," said the Senior Wrangler. + +"So mistletoe, in fact, symbolizes mistletoe?" + +"Exactly, Archchancellor," said the Senior Wrangler, who was now just +hanging on. + +"Funny thing, that," said Ridcully, in the same thoughful tone of voice. +"That statement is either so deep it would take a lifetime to fully +comprehend every particle of its meaning, or it is a load of absolute +tosh. Which is it, I wonder?" + +"It could be both," said the Senior Wrangler desperately. + +"And /that/ comment," said Ridcully, "is either very perceptive or very +trite." + +"It could be bo--" + +"Don't push it, Senior Wrangler." + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 170 ([sic], sentence at end of paragraph should have fourth period) +%passage 6 +What Ponder was worried about was the fear that he was simply engaged in a +cargo cult. He'd read about them. Ignorant(1) and credulous(2) people, +whose island might once have been visited by some itinerant merchant +vessel that traded pearls and coconuts for such fruits of civilization as +glass beads, mirrors, axes, and sexual diseases, would later make big model +ships out of bamboo in the hope of once again attracting this magical +cargo. Of course, they were far too ignorant and credulous to know that +just because you built the shape you didn't get the substance ... + +(1) Ignorant: the state of not knowing what a pronoun is, or how to find +the square root of 27.4, and merely knowing childish and useless things +like which of the seventy almost identical-looking species of the purple +sea snake are the deadly ones, how to treat the poisonous pith of the +Sago-sago tree to make a nourishing gruel, how to foretell the weather by +the movements of the tree-climbing Burglar Crab, how to navigate across +a thousand miles of featureless ocean by means of a piece of string and a +small clay model of your grandfather, how to get essential vitamins from +the liver of the ferocious Ice Bear, and other such trivial matters. It's +a strange thing that when everyone becomes educated, everyone knows about +the pronoun but no one knows about the Sago-sago. + +(2) Credulous: having views about the world, the universe and humanity's +place in it that are shared only by very unsophisticated people and the +most intelligent and advanced mathematicians and physicists. + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 244 (mantelpiece: it's dark and Ponder is checking whether the Hogfather +# [Discworld analog of Santa Claus/Father Christmas] has been there +# and left presents in the stocking the Librarian has hung) +%passage 7 +There was silence again, and then a clang. The Librarian grunted in his +sleep. + +"What are you doing?" + +"I just knocked over the coal shovel." + +"Why are feeling around on the mantelpiece?" + +Oh, just ... you know, just ... just looking. A little ... experiment. +After all, you never know." + +"You never know what?" + +"Just ... never know, you know." + +"/Sometimes/ you know," said Ridcully. "I think I know quite a lot that +I didn't used to know. It's amazing what you /do/ end up knowing, I +sometimes think. I often wonder what new stuff I'll know." + +"Well, you never know." + +"That's a fact." + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 330 +%passage 8 +IT GETS UNDER YOUR SKIN, LIFE, said Death, stepping forward. SPEAKING +METAPHORICALLY, OF COURSE. IT'S A HABIT THAT'S HARD TO GIVE UP. ONE PUFF +OF BREATH IS NEVER ENOUGH. YOU'LL FIND YOU WANT TO TAKE ANOTHER. + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 336 +%passage 9 +HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL +MEETS THE RISING APE. + +"Tooth Fairies? Hogfathers? Little--" + +YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE /LITTLE/ +LIES. + +"So we can believe the big ones?" + +YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING. + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 343 (Mr. Teatime [pronounced Teh-ah-tim-eh] has just been thwarted in +# his elabrate plot to lure and then kill Death) +%passage 10 +"What did he do it all for?" said Susan. "I mean, why? Money? Power?" + +SOME PEOPLE WILL DO ANYTHING FOR THE SHEER FASCINATION OF DOING IT, said +Death. OR THE FAME. OR BECAUSE THEY SHOULDN'T. [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage @@ -2578,9 +2830,9 @@ looking at. # Used for interaction with Death. # %section Death -%title Death Quotes (7) +%title Death Quotes (8) %passage 1 -WHERE THE FIRST PRIMAL CELL WAS, THERE WAS I ALSO. WHERE MAN IS, THERE AM I. WHEN THE LAST LIFE CRAWLS UNDER FREEZING STARS, THERE WILL I BE. +WHERE THE FIRST PRIMAL CELL WAS, THERE WAS I ALSO. WHERE MAN IS, THERE AM I. WHEN THE LAST LIFE CRAWLS UNDER FREEZING STARS, THERE WILL I BE. %e passage # Feet of Clay, p. 17 (Harper Torch edition) %passage 2 @@ -2588,7 +2840,7 @@ I AM DEATH, NOT TAXES. /I/ TURN UP ONLY ONCE. %e passage # Men at Arms, p. 27 (Harper Torch edition) %passage 3 -THINK OF IT MORE AS BEING ... DIMESIONALLY DISADVANTAGED. +THINK OF IT MORE AS BEING ... DIMENSIONALLY DISADVANTAGED. %e passage # Soul Music, p. 146 (Harper Torch edition; we omit "said Death," after comma) %passage 4 @@ -2607,5 +2859,9 @@ PLEASE DO NOT PANIC. YOU ARE MERELY DEAD. %passage 7 THERE IS A LITTLE CONFUSION AT FIRST. IT IS ONLY TO BE EXPECTED. %e passage +# Hogfather, p. 343 (Harper Torch edition; Death "lives" outside of normal +# time and space) +%passage 8 +THERE IS ALWAYS TIME FOR ANOTHER LAST MINUTE. %e title %e section -- 2.40.0