From: PatR Date: Sun, 10 Jan 2016 02:17:15 +0000 (-0800) Subject: tribute: Mort X-Git-Tag: NetHack-3.6.1_RC01~1049 X-Git-Url: https://granicus.if.org/sourcecode?a=commitdiff_plain;h=e1f8deb63fe93adad16df8e04dac6acd64899b27;p=nethack tribute: Mort --- diff --git a/dat/tribute b/dat/tribute index 53cfbd985..462e4743e 100644 --- a/dat/tribute +++ b/dat/tribute @@ -800,11 +800,260 @@ shelves, but not to prevent them being stolen.... # # # -%title Mort (1) +%title Mort (11) +# p. 136 (Signet edition; passage is a footnote; +# Vetinari doesn't show up as recurring Patrician until /Sourcery/) %passage 1 -Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and hand ended up - with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was -the Man; he had the Vote. +Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up +with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was +the Man; he had the Vote. + + [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 11 +%passage 2 +Mort was getting interested in the rock. It had curly shells in it, relics +of the early days of the world when the Creator had made creatures out of +stone, no-one knew why. + +Mort was interested in lots of things. Why people's teeth fitted together +so neatly, for example. He'd given that one a lot of thought. Then there +was the puzzle of why the sun came out during the day, instead of at night +when the light would come in useful. He knew the standard explanation, +which somehow didn't seem satisfying. + +In short, Mort is one of those people who are more dangerous than a bag +full of rattlesnakes. He was determined to discover the underlying logic +behind the universe. + +Which was going to be hard, because there wasn't one. The Creator had a +lot of remarkably good ideas when he put the world together, but making it +understandable hadn't been one of them. + + [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 18 +%passage 3 +"But you're Death," said Mort. "You go around killing people!" + +I? KILL? said Death, obviously offended. CERTAINLY NOT. PEOPLE /GET/ +KILLED, BUT THAT'S THEIR BUSINESS. I JUST TAKE OVER FROM THEN ON. AFTER +ALL, IT'D BE A BLOODY STUPID WORLD IF PEOPLE GOT KILLED WITHOUT DYING, +WOULDN'T IT? + + [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 25 +%passage 4 +"Is it magic?" said Mort. + +WHAT DO YOU THINK? said Death. AM I REALLY HERE, BOY? + +"Yes," said Mort slowly. "I... I've watched people. They look at you but +the don't see you, I think. You do something to their minds." + +Death shook his head. + +THEY DO IT ALL THEMSELVES, he said. THERE'S NO MAGIC. PEOPLE CAN'T SEE ME, +THEY SIMPLY WON'T ALLOW THEMSELVES TO DO IT. UNTIL IT'S TIME, OF COURSE. +WIZARDS CAN SEE ME, AND CATS. BUT YOUR AVERAGE HUMAN... NO, NEVER. He blew +a smoke ring at the sky, and added, STRANGE BUT TRUE. + + [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 48-49 (Binky is Death's white horse, who was left 'parked' on a +# castle's roof; Mort is Death's novice apprentice) +%passage 5 +They were on the roof before he spoke again. + +YOU TRIED TO WARN HIM, he said, removing Binky's nosebag. + +"Yes, sir. Sorry." + +YOU CANNOT INTERFERE WITH FATE. WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE WHO SHOULD LIVE AND +WHO SHOULD DIE? + +Death watched Mort's expression carefully. + +ONLY THE GODS ARE ALLOWED TO DO THAT, he added. TO TINKER WITH THE FATE OF +EVEN ONE INDIVIDUAL COULD DESTROY THE WHOLE WORLD. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? + +Mort nodded miserably. + +"Are you going to send me home?" he said. + +Death reached down and swung him up behind the saddle. + +BECAUSE YOU SHOWED COMPASSION? NO. I MIGHT HAVE DONE IF YOU HAD SHOWN +PLEASURE. BUT YOU MUST LEARN THE COMPASSION PROPER TO YOUR TRADE. + +"What's that?" + +A /SHARP/ EDGE. + + [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 59-61 (in Ankh-Morpork, Mort has accidentally walked through a wall +# into an immigrant Klatchian family's dining room; 'the creature +# who was not there' refers to Death during an earlier event) +%passage 6 +"I'm no demon! I'm a human!" he said, and stopped in shock as his words +emerged in perfect Klatch. + +"You're a thief?" said the father. "A murderer? To creep in thus, are you +a /tax-gatherer/?" His hand slipped under the table and came up holding a +meat cleaver honed to paper thinness. His wife screamed and dropped the +plate and clutched the youngest children to her. + +Mort watched the blade weave through the air, and gave in. + +"I bring you greetings from the uttermost circles of hell," he hazarded. + +The change was remarkable. The cleaver was lowered and the family broke +into broad smiles. + +"There is much luck to us if a demon visits," beamed the father. "What is +your wish, O foul spawn of Offler's loins?" + +"Sorry?" said Mort. + +"A demon brings blessing and good fortune on the man that helps it," said +the man. "How may we be of assistance, O evil dogsbreath of the nether +pit?" + +"Well, I'm not very hungry," said Mort, "but if you know where I can get a +fast horse, I could be in Sto Lat before sunset." + +The man beamed and bowed. "I know the very place, noxious extrusion of the +bowels, if you would be so good as to follow me." + +Mort hurried out after him. The ancient ancestor watched them go with a +critical expression, its jowls rhymically chewing. + +"That was what they call a demon around here?" it said. "Offler rot this +country of dampness, even their demons are third-rate, not a patch on the +demons we had in the Old Country." + +The wife placed a small bowl of rice in the folded middle pair of hands of +the Offler statue (it would be gone in the morning) and stood back. + +"Husband did say that last month at the /Curry Gardens/ he served a creature +who was not there," she said. "He was impressed." + +Ten minutes later the man returned and, in solemn silence, placed a small +heap of gold coins on the table. They represented enough wealth to +purchase quite a large part of the city. + +"He had a bag of them," he said. + +The family stared at the money for some time. The wife sighed. + +"Riches bring many problems," she said. "What are we to do?" + +"We return to Klatch," said the husband firmly, "where our children can grow +up in a proper country, true to the glorious traditions of our ancient race +and men do not need to work as waiters for wicked masters but can stand tall +and proud. And we must leave right now, fragrant blossom of the date palm." + +"Why so soon, O hard-working son of the desert?" + +"Because," said the man, "I have just sold the Patrician's champion +racehorse." + + [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 139-140 (passage ends mid-sentence) +%passage 7 +"You don't know much about monarchy, do you?" said Keli. + +"Um, no?" + +"She means better to be a dead queen in your own castle than a live +commoner somewhere else," said Cutwell, [...] + + [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 158 +%passage 8 +"You mean you won't help?" said Mort. "Not even if you can?" + +"Give the boy a prize," growled Albert. "And it's no good thinking you can +appeal to my better nature under this here crusty exterior," he added, +"'cos my interior's pretty damn crusty too." + + [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 159-160 (Death has come to an employment agency--a new concept in +# Ankh-Morpork--looking for a job) +%passage 9 +"And what was your previous position?" + +I BEG YOUR PARDON? + +"What did you do for a living?" said the thin young man behind the desk. + +I USHERED SOULS INTO THE NEXT WORLD. I WAS THE GRAVE OF ALL HOPE. I WAS +THE ULTIMATE REALITY. I WAS THE ASSASSIN AGAINST WHOM NO LOCK WOULD HOLD. + +"Yes, point taken, but do you have any particular skills?" + +I SUPPOSE A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF EXPERTISE WITH AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS? he +ventured after a while. + +The young man shook his head firmly. + +NO? + + [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 205 +%passage 10 +Death raised his skull and sniffed the air. + +The sound cut through all the other noises in the hall and forced them +into silence. + +It is the kind of noise that is heard on the twilight edges of dreams, +the sort that you wake from in the cold sweat of mortal horror. It was +the snuffling under the door of dread. It was like the snuffling of a +hedgehog, but if so then it was the kind of hedgehog that crashes out of +the verges and flattens lorries. It was the kind of noise you wouldn't +want to hear twice; you wouldn't want to hear it /once/. + + [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 207 +%passage 11 +"Well, that was a lesson to all of us," the bursar continued, brushing dust +and candle wax off his robe. He looked up, expecting to see the statue of +Alberto Malich back on its pedestal. + +"Clearly even statues have feelings," he said. "I myself recall, when I +was but a first-year student, writing my name on his... well, never mind. +The point is, I propose here and now we replace the statue." + +Dead silence greeted this suggestion. + +"With, say, an exact likeness cast in gold. Suitably embellished with +jewels, as befits our great founder," he went on brightly. + +"And to make sure no students deface it in any way I suggest we then erect +it in the deepest cellar," he continued. + +"And then lock the door," he added. Several wizards began to cheer up. + +"And throw away the key?" said Rincewind. + +"And /weld/ the door," the bursar said. He had just remembered about The +Mended Drum. He thought for a while and remembered about the physical +fitness regime as well. + +"And then brick up the doorway," he said. There was a round of applause. + +"And throw away the brick layer!" chortled Rincewind, who felt he was +getting the hang of this. + +The bursar scowled at him. "No need to get carried away," he said. [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage @@ -6390,7 +6639,7 @@ IF YOU ASK ME, said Death, NOBODY COULD DO ANY BETTER THAN THAT... # Used for interaction with Death. # %section Death -%title Death Quotes (17) +%title Death Quotes (19) %passage 1 WHERE THE FIRST PRIMAL CELL WAS, THERE WAS I ALSO. WHERE MAN IS, THERE AM I. WHEN THE LAST LIFE CRAWLS UNDER FREEZING STARS, THERE WILL I BE. %e passage @@ -6443,7 +6692,8 @@ I HAVE COME FOR THEE. # including them here wouldn't fit with the rest) %passage 14 DARK IN HERE, ISN'T IT? -# p. 14 (Equal Rites; 2nd sentence continues 'said the deep, heavy voice...') +# Equal Rites, p. 14 (Signet edition; second sentence continues +# 'said the deep, heavy voice...') %passage 15 THERE IS NO GOING BACK. THERE IS NO GOING BACK. # p. 15 (contradicts later descriptions of Death as existing outside of time; @@ -6453,6 +6703,12 @@ I HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY, YOU KNOW. # p. 15 (same page) %passage 17 LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING. +# Mort, p. 148 (Signet edition) +%passage 18 +NO-ONE EVER WANTED TO TALK TO ME BEFORE. +# p. 149 +%passage 19 +I HAVEN'T GOT A SINGLE FRIEND. EVEN CATS FIND ME AMUSING. %e title %e section #