From: PatR Date: Sat, 30 Jan 2016 09:37:17 +0000 (-0800) Subject: tribute: Guards! Guards! X-Git-Tag: NetHack-3.6.1_RC01~970 X-Git-Url: https://granicus.if.org/sourcecode?a=commitdiff_plain;h=df41e8f203eb8cab77d33acbad1bbf1d2d7d5608;p=nethack tribute: Guards! Guards! --- diff --git a/dat/tribute b/dat/tribute index 44d9eab15..12e363c26 100644 --- a/dat/tribute +++ b/dat/tribute @@ -1770,17 +1770,190 @@ Man was never intended to understand things he meddled with. # # # -%title Guards! Guards! (2) +%title Guards! Guards! (14) +# p. 283 (ROC edition) %passage 1 -Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in yourself. -The world would be a happier place if more people remembered that. +"I see you're very comfortable here," said Vimes weakly. + +"Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in +yourself," said the Patrician, laying out the food on the cloth. "The +world would be a happier place if more people remembered that." [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage +# p. 133 %passage 2 These weren't encouraged in the city, since the heft and throw of a -longbow's arrow could send it through an innocent bystander a hundred -yards away instead of the innocent bystander at whom it was aimed. +longbow's arrow could send it through an innocent bystander a hundred +yards away rather than the innocent bystander at whom it was aimed. + + [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 26 (first and second paragraphs are actually end of one section, +# start of next one; first 'Thunder rolled...' had three dot +# elipsis, second hand has four, elipsis plus final period-- +# first changed to four here so that they match) +%passage 3 +Thunder rolled.... + +It is said that the gods play games with the lives of men. But what games, +and why, and the identities of the actual pawns, and what the game is, and +what the rules are--who knows? + +Best not to speculate. + +Thunder rolled.... + +It rolled a six. + + [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 48 (passage is a footnote) +%passage 4 +One of the remarkable innovations introduced by the Patrician was to make +the Thieves' Guilde /responsible/ for theft, with annual budgets, forward +planning and, above all, rigid job protection. Thus, in return for an +agreed average level of crime per annum, the thieves themselves saw to it +that unauthorized crime was met with the full force of Injustice, which was +generally a stick with nails in it. + + [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 87 (passage ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 5 +"Well, sir," he said, "I know that dragons have been extinct for thousands +of years, sir--" + +"Yes?" The Patrician's eyes narrowed. + +Vimes plunged on. "But sir, the thing is, do /they/ know?" [...] + + [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 114 (passage is a footnote) +%passage 6 +The Guild of Fire Fighters had been outlawed by the Patrician the previous +year after many complaints. The point was that, if you bought a contract +from the Guild, your house would be protected against fire. Unfortunately, +the general Ankh-Morpork ethos quickly came to the fore and fire fighters +would tend to go to prospective clients' houses in groups, making loud +comments like "Very inflammable looking place, this" and "Probably go up +like a firework with just one carelessly dropped match, know what I mean?" + + [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 131 (Sherlock Holmes) +%passage 7 +Once you've ruled out the impossible then whatever is left, however +improbable, must be the truth. The problem lay in working out what was +impossible, of course. That was the trick, all right. + +There was also the curious incident of the orangutan in the night-time.... + + [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 150 (Dirty Harry with a small swamp dragon rather than a .45 Magnum...) +%passage 8 +A streak of green fire blasted out of the back of the shed, passed a foot +over the heads of the mob, and burned a charred rosette in the woodwork +over the door. + +Then came a voice that was a honeyed purr of shear deadly menace. + +"/This is Lord Mountjoy Quickfang Winterforth IV, the hottest dragon in the +city. It could burn your head clean off./" + +Captain Vimes limped forward from the shadows. + +A small and extremely frightened golden dragon was clamped firmly under one +arm. His other hand held it by the tail. + +The rioters watched it, hypnotised. + +"Now I know what you're thinking," Vimes went on, softly. "You're +wondering, after all this excitement, has it got enough flame left? And, +y'know, I ain't so sure myself..." + +He leaned forward, sighting between the dragon's ears, and his voice +buzzed like a knife blade: + +"What you've got to ask yourself is: Am I feeling lucky?" + +They swayed backwards as he advanced. + +"Well?" he said. "/Are/ you feeling lucky?" + + [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 154 (passage is a footnote; ten pages later, Sergeant Colon uses the +# old version of the proverb) +%passage 9 +The phrase "Set a thief to catch a thief" had by this time (after strong +representations from the Thieves' Guilde) replaced a much older and +quintessentially Ankh-Morpork proverb, which was "Set a deep hole with +spring-loaded sides, tripwires, whirling knife blades driven by water power, +broken glass and scorpions, to catch a thief." + + [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 174 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 10 +[...] There was no difference at all between the richest man and the +poorest beggar, apart from the fact that the former had lots of money, +food, power, fine clothes, and good health. But at least he wasn't +any /better/. Just richer, fatter, more powerful, better dressed and +healthier. It had been like that for hundreds of years. + + [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 205 +%passage 11 +"Might have been just an innocent bystander, sir," said Carrot. + +"What, in Ankh-Morpork?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"We should have grabbed him, then, just for the rarity value," said Vimes. + + [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 262-263 (passage is a footnote; 'practise', 'practised' are accurate) +%passage 12 +A number of religions in Ankh-Morpork still practised human sacrifice, +except that they really didn't need to practise any more because they had +got so good at it. City law said that only condemned criminals should be +used, but that was all right because in most of the religions refusing to +volunteer for sacrifice was an offense punishable by death. + + [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 292 +%passage 13 +There were times when an ape had to do what a man had to do... + +The orangutan threw a complex salute and swung away into the darkness. + + [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 299-300 + 325 (final part comes quite a bit later; Carrot is trying to +# alert oblivious Sergeant Colon that the dragon is coming) +%passage 14 +"This is what it comes to!" muttered Colon. "Decent women can't walk down +the street without being eaten! Right, you bastards, you're... you're +/geography/--" + +"Sergeant!" Carrot repeated urgently. + +"It's history, not geography," said Nobby. "That's what you're supposed to +say. History. 'You're history!' you say." + +"Well, whatever," snapped Colon. "Let's see now--" + +[...(quite a while later)...] + +"You heard the Man," he rasped. "One false move and you're... you're--" he +took a desparate stab at it--"you're Home Economics!" [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage