From: PatR Date: Mon, 22 Feb 2016 23:15:31 +0000 (-0800) Subject: tribute: Witches Abroad X-Git-Tag: NetHack-3.6.1_RC01~906 X-Git-Url: https://granicus.if.org/sourcecode?a=commitdiff_plain;h=d77b6bb8aa38bcca4986dc6677ca726b960835a1;p=nethack tribute: Witches Abroad --- diff --git a/dat/tribute b/dat/tribute index d841095d2..b31a98069 100644 --- a/dat/tribute +++ b/dat/tribute @@ -311,7 +311,7 @@ comfortable--" [The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -# p. 228-229 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +# pp. 228-229 (passage starts mid-paragraph) %passage 14 [...] She was the Goddess Who Must Not Be Named; those who sought her never found her, yet she was known to come to the aid of those in greatest @@ -962,7 +962,7 @@ racehorse." [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -# p. 139-140 (passage ends mid-sentence) +# pp. 139-140 (passage ends mid-sentence) %passage 7 "You don't know much about monarchy, do you?" said Keli. @@ -983,8 +983,8 @@ appeal to my better nature under this here crusty exterior," he added, [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -# p. 159-160 (Death has come to an employment agency--a new concept in -# Ankh-Morpork--looking for a job) +# pp. 159-160 (Death has come to an employment agency--a new concept in +# Ankh-Morpork--looking for a job) %passage 9 "And what was your previous position?" @@ -1091,8 +1091,8 @@ MANY HAVE, said Death evenly. [Sourcery, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -# p. 40-41 (text has 'the moment and the words' which is obviously a typo; -# it might have intended 'that' for 'and'; we just drop 'and') +# pp. 40-41 (text has 'the moment and the words' which is obviously a typo; +# it might have intended 'that' for 'and'; we just drop 'and') %passage 4 The thief, as will become apparent, was a special type of thief. This thief was an artist of theft. Other thieves merely stole everything that @@ -1117,10 +1117,10 @@ words were out of your mouth. [Sourcery, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -# p. 63-64 ('Compleet', 'Majik', 'enterr', 'physycal', 'hys', 'bodie', -# 'Destinie', 'Deathe', 'werre', 'nowe', 'menne', 'Ende', -# 'Worlde', 'hadd', 'bee', 'goddes', 'ould', 'Apocralypse', -# 'legende', 'thee': all accurate; 'ould' may be a typo...) +# pp. 63-64 ('Compleet', 'Majik', 'enterr', 'physycal', 'hys', 'bodie', +# 'Destinie', 'Deathe', 'werre', 'nowe', 'menne', 'Ende', +# 'Worlde', 'hadd', 'bee', 'goddes', 'ould', 'Apocralypse', +# 'legende', 'thee': all accurate; 'ould' may be a typo...) %passage 5 It was deathly quiet in the Library. The books were no longer frantic. They'd passed through their fear and out into the calm waters of abject @@ -1150,7 +1150,7 @@ his head. [Sourcery, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -# p. 71-72 +# pp. 71-72 %passage 6 The current Patrician, head of the extremely rich and powerful Vetinari family, was thin, tall and apparently as cold-blooded as a dead penguin. @@ -1211,7 +1211,7 @@ He looked down at his feet. [Sourcery, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -# p. 141-142 (Rincewind and Nijel have just entered a harem) +# pp. 141-142 (Rincewind and Nijel have just entered a harem) %passage 9 Rincewind had eyes for none of this. [...] they were swamped by the considerably bigger flood of panic at the sight of four guards turning @@ -1235,7 +1235,7 @@ would never quite forget to the end of this life. [Sourcery, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -# p. 198-199 +# pp. 198-199 %passage 10 The astro-philosophers of Krull once succeeded in proving conclusively that all places are one place and that the distance between them is an @@ -1936,8 +1936,8 @@ The orangutan threw a complex salute and swung away into the darkness. [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -# p. 299-300 + 325 (final part comes quite a bit later; Carrot is trying to -# alert oblivious Sergeant Colon that the dragon is coming) +# pp. 299-300 + 325 (final part comes quite a bit later; Carrot is trying to +# alert oblivious Sergeant Colon that the dragon is coming) %passage 14 "This is what it comes to!" muttered Colon. "Decent women can't walk down the street without being eaten! Right, you bastards, you're... you're @@ -2315,8 +2315,8 @@ said Victor. [Moving Pictures, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -# p. 111-112 ('dis', 'ort', 'yore', 'finking', 'mayonnaisey', 'specialitay', -# 'de lar mayson' all accurate) +# pp. 111-112 ('dis', 'ort', 'yore', 'finking', 'mayonnaisey', 'specialitay', +# 'de lar mayson' all accurate) %passage 10 Borgle's commissary had decided to experiment with salads tonight. The nearest salad growing district was thirty slow miles away. @@ -2566,7 +2566,7 @@ He heard the voices stop. There was the sound of feet hurrying away. [Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -# p. 81-82 (things have stopped dying because Death is no longer on the job) +# pp. 81-82 (things have stopped dying because Death is no longer on the job) %passage 10 Everything that exists, yearns to live. That's what the cycle of life is all about. That's the engine that drives the great biological pumps of @@ -2654,13 +2654,273 @@ Rush off, or course, But slowly. # # # -%title Witches Abroad (1) +%title Witches Abroad (14) +# p. 92 (ROC edition) %passage 1 Vampires have risen from the dead, the grave and the crypt, but have never managed it from the cat. [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage +# pp. 12-13 +%passage 2 +Desiderata Hollow was making her will. + +When Desiderata Hollow was a girl, her grandmother had given her four +important pieces of advice to guide her young footsteps on the unexpectedly +twisting pathway of life. + +They were: + +Never trust a dog with orange eyebrows, + +Always get the young man's name and address, + +Never get between two mirrors, + +And always wear completely clean underwear every day because you never knew +when you were going to be knocked down and killed by a runaway horse and if +people found you had unsatisfactory underwear on, you'd die of shame. + +And then Desiderata grew up to become a witch. And one of the minor +benefits of being a witch is that you know exactly when you're going to die +and can wear what underwear you like.(1) + +That had been eighty years earlier, when the idea of knowing exactly when +you were going to die had seemed quite attractive because secretly, of +course, you knew you were going to live forever. + +That was then. + +And this was now. + +Forever didn't seem to last as long these days as once it did. + +(1) Which explains a lot about witches. + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 64 (passage ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 3 +"You know," said Nanny, investigating the recesses of the basket, "whenever +I deals with dwarfs, the phrase 'Duck's arse' swims across my mind." + +"Mean little devils. You should see the prices they tries to charge me +when I takes my broom to be repaired," said Granny. + +"Yes, but you never pay," said Magrat. + +"That's not the point," said Granny Weatherwax. "They shouldn't be allowed +to charge that sort of money. That's thievin', that is." + +"I don't see how it can be thieving if you don't pay anyway," said Magrat. + +"I never pay for anything," said Granny. [...] + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 93 (passage is a footnote) +%passage 4 +Nanny Ogg sent a number of cards home to her family, not a single one of +which got back before she did. This is traditional, and happens everywhere +in the universe. + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 118-119 (Magrat has been teaching herself martial arts via books) +%passage 5 +"Lobsang Dibbler says sometimes you have to lose in order to win," said +Magrat. + +"Sounds daft to me," said Nanny. "That's Yen Buddhism, is it?" + +"No. They're the ones who say you have to have lots of money to win," said +Magrat.(1) "In the Path of the Scorpion, the way to win is to lose every +fight except the last one. You use the enemy's strength against himself." + +"What, you get him to hit himself, sort of thing?" said Nanny. "Sounds +daft." + +(1) The Yen Buddhists are the richest religious sect in the universe. They +hold that the accumulation of money is a great evil and burden to the soul. +They therefore, regardless of personal hazard, see it as their unpleasant +duty to acquire as much as possible to reduce the risk to innocent people. + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 131 +%passage 6 +They had breakfast in a forest clearing. It was grilled pumpkin. The dwarf +bread was brought out for inspection. But it was miraculous, the dwarf +bread. No one ever went hungry when they had some dwarf bread to avoid. +You only had to look at it for a moment, and instantly you could think of +dozens of things you'd rather eat. Your boots for example. Mountains. Raw +sheep. Your own foot. + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 194-195 ("he just" is accurate; cockerel == adolescent rooster) +%passage 7 +"This is Legba, a dark and dangerous spirit," said Mrs. Gogol. She leaned +closer and spoke out of the corner of her mouth. "Between you and me, he +just a big black cockerel. But you know how it is." + +"It pays to advertise," Nanny agreed. "This is Greebo. Between you and me, +he's a fiend from hell." + +"Well, he's a cat," said Mrs. Gogol, generously. "It's only to be expected." + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 218 +%passage 8 +"/And/ still a bit of the wedding cake," said the first coachman. "Ain't +you et that up yet?" + +"We have it every night," said the undercoachman. + +The shed shook with the ensuing laughter. It is a universal fact that any +innocent comment made by any recently married young member of any workforce +is an instant trigger for coarse merriment among his or her older and more +cynical colleagues. This happens even if everyone concerned has nine legs +and lives at the bottom of an ocean of ammonia on a huge cold planet. It's +just one of those things. + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 228 +%passage 9 +"You ought to be more adventurous, Granny," said Magrat. + +"I ain't against adventure, in moderation," said Granny, "but not when I'm +eatin'." + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 263-264 (Nanny is trying to stop an elaborate clock; despite damage +# inflicted on it, it goes on to announce midnight [early]) +%passage 10 +Let's see thought Nanny. This bit is connected to that bit, this one turns, +that one turns /faster/, this spiky bit wobbles backwards and forwards... + +Oh, well. Just twist the first thing you can grab, as the High Priest said +to the vestal virgin.(1) + +Nanny Ogg spat on her hands, gripped the largest cog-wheel, and twisted. + +It carried on turning, pulling her with it. + +Blimey. Oh, well... + +Then she did was neither Granny Weatherwax nor Magrat would have dreamed of +doing in the circumstances. But Nanny Ogg's voyages on the sea of +intersexual dalliance had gone rather further than twice around the +lighthouse, and she saw nothing demeaning in getting a man to help her. + +She simpered at Casanunda. + +"Things would be a lot more comfortable in our little /pie-de-terre/ if you +could just push this little wheel around a bit," she said. "I'm sure /you/ +could manage it," she added. + +"Oh, no problem, good lady," said Casanunda. He reached up with one hand. +Dwarfs are immensely strong for their size. The wheel seemed to offer him +no resistance at all. + +Somewhere in the mechanism something resisted for a moment and then went +/clonk/. Big wheels turned reluctantly. Little wheels screamed on their +axles. A small important piece flew out and pinged off of Casanunda's +small bullet head. + +And must faster than nature had ever intended, the hands sped around the +face. + +(1) This is the last line to a Discworld joke lost, alas, to posterity. + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 265 ('pate' has a couple of accent marks which can't be rendered in ascii) +%passage 11 +There are various forms of voodoo in the multiverse, because it's a +religion that can be put together from any ingredients that happen to be +lying around. And all of them try, in some way, to call a god into the body +of a human being. + +That was stupid, Mrs. Gogol thought. That was dangerous. + +Mrs. Gogol's voodoo worked the other way about. What was a god? A focus of +belief. If people believed, a god began to grow. Feebly at first, but if +the swamp taught anything, it taught patience. Anything could be the focus +of a god. A handful of feathers with a red ribbon around them, a hat and +coat on a couple of sticks... anything. Because when all people had was +practically nothing, then anything could be almost everything. And then you +fed it, and lulled it, like a goose heading for pate, and let the power grow +very slowly, and when the time was ripe you opened the path... backwards. +A human could ride the god, rather than the other way around. There would +be a price to pay later, but there always was. In Mrs. Gogol's experience, +everyone ended up dying. + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 270 (Greebo has been temporarily transformed--polymorphed?--into a human) +%passage 12 +Greebo wasn't a happy cat. [...] + +Then he'd smelled the kitchen. Cats gravitate to kitchens like rocks +gravitate to gravity. + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 282 (Casanunda the dwarf is Discworld's Casanova; he appears again in +# /Lords and Ladies/) +%passage 13 +"How come you're in the palace guard, Casanunda?" + +"Soldier of fortune takes whatever jobs are going, Mrs. Ogg," said Casanunda +earestly. + +"But all the rest of 'em are six foot tall and you're--of the shorter +persuasion." + +"I lied about my height, Mrs. Ogg. I'm a world-famous liar." + +"Is that true?" + +"No." + +"What about you being the world's greatest lover?" + +There was silence for a while. + +"Well, maybe I'm only No. 2," said Casanunda. "But I try harder." + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 285-286 (Greebo is still in human form) +%passage 14 +Greebo leapt. + +Cats are like witches. They don't fight to kill, but to win. There is a +difference. There's no point in killing an opponent. That way, they won't +know they've lost, and to be a real winner you have to have an opponent who +is beaten and knows it. There's no triumph over a corpse, but a beaten +opponent, who will remain beaten every day for the remainder of their sad +and wretched life, is something to treasure. + +Cats do not, of course, rationise this far. They just like to send someone +limping off minus a tail and a few square inches of fur. + +Greebo's technique was unscientific and wouldn't have stood a chance against +any decent swordsmanship, but on his side was the fact that it is almost +impossible to develop decent swordsmanship when you seem to have run into a +food mixer that is biting your ear off. + +The witches watched with interest. + +"I think we can leave him now," said Nanny. "I think he's having fun." + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage %e title # # @@ -5015,8 +5275,8 @@ comp-lic-ated documents." [Carpe Jugulum, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -# p. 336-337 (the plot is driven by the actions of a family of vampyres -# who do mostly cooperate with each other) +# pp. 336-337 (the plot is driven by the actions of a family of vampyres +# who do mostly cooperate with each other) %passage 7 Vampires are not naturally cooperative creatures. It's not in their nature. Every other vampire is a rival for the next meal. In fact, the ideal @@ -5344,8 +5604,8 @@ man!" [Thief of Time, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -# p. 74-75 (the novices didn't know that the little old man known as Sweeper -# is actually Lu-Tze; see passage 3 regarding Rule One) +# pp. 74-75 (the novices didn't know that the little old man known as Sweeper +# is actually Lu-Tze; see passage 3 regarding Rule One) %passage 4 One day a group of senior novices, for mischief, kicked over the little shrine that Lu-Tze kept beside his sleeping mat. @@ -6645,9 +6905,9 @@ Treason than met the eye. [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -# p. 53-54 (in Carpe Jugulum, most of the lore [for humans] about how to kill -# vampires had been written by long-lived/long-not-defunct vampires -# [meaning that it was deliberately full of inaccuracies...]) +# pp. 53-54 (in Carpe Jugulum, most of the lore [for humans] about how to kill +# vampires had been written by long-lived/long-not-defunct vampires +# [meaning that it was deliberately full of inaccuracies...]) %passage 6 It was in fact Miss Tick who had written /Witch Hunting for Dumb People/, and she made sure that copies of it found their way into those areas where @@ -6663,7 +6923,7 @@ even underwater. [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -# p. 55-56 +# pp. 55-56 %passage 7 Working quickly, she emptied her pockets and started a shamble. @@ -6728,8 +6988,8 @@ dark art. It was just so /hard/. [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -# p. 126-127 (passage starts mid-paragraph; -# witches know in advance when they're going to die) +# pp. 126-127 (passage starts mid-paragraph; +# witches know in advance when they're going to die) %passage 10 "[...] We shall hold the funeral tomorrow afternoon." @@ -6756,8 +7016,8 @@ witches is an "argument." [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -# p. 174-175 (passage starts mid-paragraph; last paragraph continues, but -# changes topic so abruptly Tiffany gasps; 'rumbustious' is accurate) +# pp. 174-175 (passage starts mid-paragraph; last paragraph continues, but +# changes topic so abruptly Tiffany gasps; 'rumbustious' is accurate) %passage 12 "[...] And now I shall tell you something vitally important. It is the secret of my long life." @@ -6813,7 +7073,7 @@ as good as she ought to be. [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -# p. 360-361 ('wurds' is accurate) +# pp. 360-361 ('wurds' is accurate) %passage 15 "An heroic effect, Mr. Anybody," said Granny. "The first thing a hero must conquer is his fear, and when it comes to fightin', the Nac Mac Feegle @@ -6824,7 +7084,7 @@ o' wurds!" [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -# p. 398-399 ("Chumsfanleigh" is pronounced "Chuffley") +# pp. 398-399 ("Chumsfanleigh" is pronounced "Chuffley") %passage 16 At the back of the Feegles' chalk pit, more chalk had been carved out of the wall to make a tunnel about five feet high and perhaps as long. @@ -7314,7 +7574,7 @@ pp'd at all. Incidentally, how loud were his screams?" [Unseen Academicals, by Terry Pratchett] %e passage -# p. 192-193 ('pants': underpants; 'football': soccer ;-) +# pp. 192-193 ('pants': underpants; 'football': soccer ;-) %passage 9 "You will arrange yourself into two teams, set up goals, and strive to win! No man will leave the field of play unless injured! The hands are not to @@ -8040,7 +8300,7 @@ IF YOU ASK ME, said Death, NOBODY COULD DO ANY BETTER THAN THAT... # Death Quotes are always one line, and '%e passage' can be omitted. # %section Death -%title Death Quotes (30) +%title Death Quotes (31) %passage 1 WHERE THE FIRST PRIMAL CELL WAS, THERE WAS I ALSO. WHERE MAN IS, THERE AM I. WHEN THE LAST LIFE CRAWLS UNDER FREEZING STARS, THERE WILL I BE. %e passage @@ -8145,6 +8405,10 @@ JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING IS A METAPHORE DOESN'T MEAN IT CAN'T BE REAL. # p. 334 %passage 30 I AM ALWAYS ALONE. BUT JUST NOW I WANT TO BE ALONE BY MYSELF. +# Witches Abroad, p. 298 (Death's explanation why he didn't come for zombie 12 +# years earlier: YOU STOPPED LIVING. YOU NEVER DIED.) +%passage 31 +I HAD AN APPOINTMENT WITH YOU TONIGHT. %e title %e section #