From: Shlomi Fish Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2021 13:27:15 +0000 (+0200) Subject: Add fortune cookies to fortune-mod. X-Git-Tag: fortune-mod-3.10.0~6 X-Git-Url: https://granicus.if.org/sourcecode?a=commitdiff_plain;h=63e75a39f355768f90068b0909b35facdf6f3471;p=fortune-mod Add fortune cookies to fortune-mod. Possible sources: * https://github.com/JKirchartz/fortunes See https://github.com/JKirchartz/fortunes/blob/41ba7913f1ec208c0d4264610fd78a50ac3cd4f2/FerengiRulesOfAcquisition . --- diff --git a/fortune-mod/CMakeLists.txt b/fortune-mod/CMakeLists.txt index a00f887..3073180 100644 --- a/fortune-mod/CMakeLists.txt +++ b/fortune-mod/CMakeLists.txt @@ -318,6 +318,7 @@ SET (COOKIES politics pratchett riddles + rules-of-acquisition science songs-poems sports diff --git a/fortune-mod/datfiles/rules-of-acquisition b/fortune-mod/datfiles/rules-of-acquisition new file mode 100644 index 0000000..870ed40 --- /dev/null +++ b/fortune-mod/datfiles/rules-of-acquisition @@ -0,0 +1,926 @@ +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +1. Once you have their money, never give it back +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +2. You can't cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +4. Sex and profit are the two things that never last long enough +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +5. If you can't break a contract, bend it +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +6. Never let family stand in the way of opportunity +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +7. Always keep you ears open +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +8. Keep count of your change +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +9. Instinct plus opportunity equals profit +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +10. A dead customer can't buy as much as a live one +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +11. Latinum isn't the only thing that shines +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +12. Anything worth selling is worth selling twice +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +14. Anything stolen is pure profit +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +15. Acting stupid is often smart +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +16. A deal is a deal ... until a better one comes along +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +17. A bargain usually isn't +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +19. Don't lie too soon after a promotion +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +20. When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +21. Never place friend ship before profit +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +22. wise men can hear profit in the wind +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +23. Never take the last coin, but be sure to get the rest +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +24. Never ask when you can take +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +25. Fear makes a good business partner +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +26. The vast majority of the rich in this galaxy did not inherit their wealth; +they stole it +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +27. The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you cut +it down +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +28. Morality is always defined by those in power +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +29. When someone says "It's not the money," they're lying +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +30. Talk is cheap; synthehol costs money +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +32. Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer expects +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +34. War is good for business +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +35. Peace is good for business +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +36. Too many Ferengi can't laugh at themselves anymore +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +37. You can always buy back a lost reputation +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +38. Free advertising is cheap +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +39. Praise is cheap. Heap it generously on all customers +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +40. If you see profit on a journey, take it +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +41. Money talks, but having a lots of it gets more attention +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +42. Only negotiate when you are certain to profit +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +43. Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +44. Never argue with a loaded phaser +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +45. profit has limits. Loss has none +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +46. Labor camps are full of people who trusted the wrong person +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +47. Never trust a man wearing a better suit than you own +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +49. Old age and greed will always overcome youth and talent +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +50. Never bluff a Klingon +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +51. Never admit a mistake if there's someone else to blame +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +52. Only Bugsy could have built Las Vegas +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +53. Sell first; ask questions later +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +54. Never buy anything you can't sell +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +55. Always sell at the highest possible profit +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +56. Pursue profit; women come later +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +57. Good customers are almost as rare as Latinum - treasure them +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +58. Friendship is seldom cheap +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +59. Fee advice is never cheap +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +60. Never use Latinum where your words will do +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +61. Never buy what can be stolen +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +63. power without profit is like a ship without an engine +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +64. Don't talk shop; talk shopping +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +65. Don't talk ship; talk shipping +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +66. Anyone serving in a fleet who is crazy can be relieved, if they ask for it +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +67. Enough is never enough +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +68. Compassion is no substitute for a profit +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +69. You could afford your ship without your government - if it weren't for +your government +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +70. Get the money first, then let the buyers worry about collecting the +merchandise +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +71. Gamble and trade have two things in common: risk and Latinum +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +72. Never let the competition know, what you're thinking +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +73. Never trust advice from a dying Ferengi; listen but don't trust +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +74. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +75. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of Latinum +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +76. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your +enemies +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +77. Go where no Ferengi has gone before; where there is no reputation there is +profit +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +78. There is a customer born every minute +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +80. If it works, sell it. If it works well, sell it for more. If it doesn't +work, quadruple the price and sell it as an antique +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +81. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +82. A smart customer is not a good customer +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +83. Revenge is profitless +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +84. She can touch your ears but never your Latinum +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +85. Death takes no bribes +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +86. A wife is a luxury, a smart accountant a necessity +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +87. Trust is the biggest liability of all +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +88. When the boss comes to dinner, it never hurts to have the wife wear +something +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +89. Latinum lasts longer than lust +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +90. Mine is better than ours +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +91. He who drinks fast pays slow +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +92. Never confuse wisdom with luck +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +93. He's a fool who makes his doctor his heir +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +94. Beware of small expenses: a small leak will kill a ship +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +95. Important, more impotant, Latinum +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +96. Faith moves mountains - of inventory +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +97. If you would keep a secret from an enemy, don't tell it to a friend +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +98. Profit is the better part of valor +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +99. Never trust a wise man +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +100. Everything that has no owner, needs one +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +101. Never do something you can make someone do for you +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +102. Nature decays, but Latinum lasts forever +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +103. Sleep can interfere with opportunity +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +104. Money is never made. It is merely won or lost +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +105. Wise men don't lie, they just bend the truth +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +106. There is no honor in poverty +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +107. Win or lose, there's always Huyperian Beetle Snuff +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +108. A woman wearing clothes is like a man without profit +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +110. Only a fool passes up a business opportunity +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +111. Treat people in your debt like family ... exploit them +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +112. Never sleep with the boss's wife unless you pay him first +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +113. Never sleep with the boss's sister +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +114. Small print lead to large risk +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +115. Greed is eternal +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +116. There's always a way out +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +117. If the profit seems too good to be true, it usually is +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +118. Never cheat a honest man offering a decent price +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +119. Buy, sell, or get out of the way +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +120. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Latinum +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +121. Everything is for sale, even friendship +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +122. As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +123. A friend is only a friend until you sell him something. Then he is a +customer +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +124. Friendship is temporary, profit is forever +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +125. A lie isn't a lie until someone else knows the truth +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +126. A lie isn't a lie, it's just the truth seen from a different point of +view +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +127. Gratitude can bring on generosity +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +128. Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +129. Never trust your customers +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +130. Never trust a beneficiary +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +131. If it gets you profit, sell your own mother +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +132. The flimsier the produce, the higher the price +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +133. Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet ... sometimes good +things come in small packages +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +134. There's always a catch +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +135. The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay +for it +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +136. The sharp knife cuts quickly. Act without delay! +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +137. Necessity is the mother of invention. Profit is the father +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +138. Law makes everyone equal, but justice goes to the highest bidder +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +139. Wives serve; brother inherit +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +140. The answer to quick and easy profit is: buy for less, sell for more +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +141. Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive. Fait play and financial +loss go hand-in-hand +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +142. A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +143. The family of Fools is ancient +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +144. There's nothing wrong with charity ... as long as it winds up in your +pocket +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +145. Always ask for the costs first +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +146. If possible sell neither the sizzle nor the steak, but the Elphasian +wheat germ +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +147. New customers are like razor toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, +but sometimes they bite back +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +148. Opportunity waits for no one +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +149. Females and finances don't mix +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +150. Make your shop easy to find +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +151. Sometimes, what you get free costs entirely too much +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +152. Ask not what your profits can do for you; ask what you can do for your +profits +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +153. You can't free a fish from water +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +154. The difference between manure and Latinum is commerece +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +155. What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +156. Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +157. You are surrounded by opportunities; you just have to know where to look +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +158. Don't pay until you have the goods +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +159. The customer is always right ... until you have their cash +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +160. Respect is good, Latinum is better +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +161. Never kill a customer, unless you make more profit out of his death than +out of his life +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +162. His money is only your's when he can't get it back +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +163. A thirsty customer is good for profit, a drunk one isn't +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +164. Never spend your own money when you can spend someone else's +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +165. Never allow one's culture's law to get in the way of a universal goal: +profit +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +166. Never give away for free what can be sold +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +167. If a deal is fairly and lawfully made, then seeking revenge especially +unprofitable revenge, is illegal +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +168. Beware of relatives bearing gifts +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +169. If you're going to have to endure, make yourself comfortable +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +170. Never gamble with an empath +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +171. Time is Latinum. The early Ferengi get the Latinum +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +172. If you can sell it, don't hsitate to steal it +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +173. A piece of Latinum in the hand is worth two in a customer's pocket +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +174. Share and perish +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +175. When everything fails - run +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +176. Ferengi's don't give promotional gifts! +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +177. Know your enemies ... but do business with them always +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +178. The world is a stage - don't forget to demand admission +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +179. Whenever you think that things can't get worse, the FCA will be knocking +on you door +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +180. Never offer a confession when a bribe will do +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +181. Even dishonesty can't tarnish the glow of Latinum +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +182. Whenever you're being asked if you are god, the right answer is YES +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +183. Genius without opportunity is like Latinum in the mine +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +184. There are three things you must not talk to aliens: sex, religion and +taxes +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +185. If you want to ruin yourself there are three known ways: Gambling is the +fastest, women are the sweetest, and banks are the most reliable way +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +186. There are two things that will catch up with you for sure: death and +taxes +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +187. If your dancing partner wants to lead at all costs, let her have her own +way and ask another one to dance +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +188. Never bet on a race you haven't fixed +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +189. Borrow on a handshake; lend in writing +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +190. Drive your business or it will drive you +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +191. Let other keep their reputation. You keep their money +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +192. If the flushing isn't strong enough, use your brain and try the brush +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +193. Klingon women don't dance tango +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +194. It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in +your door +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +195. Wounds heal, but debt is forever +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +196. Only give money to people you know you can steal from +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +197. Never trust your customers, especially if they are your relatives +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +198. Employees are the rungs on your ladder to success - don't hesitate to +step on them +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +199. The secret of one person is another person's opportunity +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +200. A madman with Latinum means profit without return +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +201. The justification for profit is profit +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +202. a) A friend in need is a customer in the making + b) A friend in need means three times the profit +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +203. A Ferengi in need, will never do anything for free +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +204. When the Grand Nagus arrives to offer you a business opportunity, it's +time to leave town until he's gone +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +205. When the customer dies, the money stops a-comin' +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +206. Fighting with Klingons is like gambling with Cardassians - it's good to +have a friend around when you lose +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +207. Never trust a hardworking employee +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +208. Give someone a fish, you feed him for one day. Teach him how to fish, +and you lose a steady customer +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +209. Tell them what they want to hear +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +210. A wife, who is able to clean, saves the cleaning lady +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +211. In business deals, a disruptor can be almost as important as a calculator +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +212. If they accept your first offer, you either asked too little or offered +too much +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +213. Stay neutral in conflicts so that you can sell supplies to both sides +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +214. Never begin a business transaction on an empty stomach +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +215. Instinct without opportunity is useless +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +216. Never take hospitality from someone worse off than yourself +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +217. Only pay for it, if you are confronted with loaded phaser +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +218. Always know what you're buying +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +219. A friend is not a friend if he asks for a discount +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +220. Profit is like a bed of roses - a few thorns are inevitable +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +221. Beware of any man who thinks with his lobes +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +222. Knowledge is Latinum +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +223. Rich men don't come to buy; they come to take +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +224. Never throw anything away: It may be worht a lot of Latinum some Stardate +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +225. Pride comes before a loss +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +226. Don't take your family for granted, only their Latinum +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +227. Loyalty can be bought ... and sold +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +228. All things come to those who wait, even Latinum +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +229. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +230. Manipulation may be a Ferengi's greatest tool, and liability +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +231. If you steal it, make sure it has a warranty +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +232. Life's no fair (How else would you turn a profit?) +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +233. Every dark cloud has a Latinum lining +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +234. Never deal with beggars; it's bad for profits +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +235. Don't trust anyone who trusts you +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +236. You can't buy fate +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +237. There's a sucker born every minute. Be sure you're the first to find +each one +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +238. The truth will cost +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +239. Ambition knows no family +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +240. The higher you bid, the more customers you drive away +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +241. Never underestimate the inportance of the fist impression +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +242. More is good, all is better +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +243. If you got something nice to say, then SHOUT +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +244. If you can't sell it, sit on it, but never give it away +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +245. A warranty is valid only if they can find you +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +246. He that speaks ill of the wares will buy them +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +247. Never question luck +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +248. Celebrate when you are paid, not, when you are promised +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +249. Respect other culture's beliefs; they'll be more likely to give you money +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +250. A dead vendor doesn't demand money +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +251. Satisfaction is not guaranteed +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +252. Let the buyer beware +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +253. A contract without fine print is a fool's document +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +254. Anyone who can't tell a fake doesn't deserve the real thing +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +255. A warranty without loop-holes is a liability +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +256. Synthehol is the lubricant of choice for a customer's stuck purse +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +257. Only fools negotiate with their own money +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +258. A Ferengi is only as important as the amount of Latinum he carries in his +pockets +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +259. A lie is a way to tell the truth to someone who doesn't know +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +260. Gambling is like the way to power: The only way to win is to cheat, but +don't get caught in the process +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +261. A wealthy man can afford everything except a conscience +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +262. No lobes, no profit +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +263. Never let a female in clothes cloud your sense of profit +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +264. It's not the size of your planet, but it's income, that matters +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +265. The fear of loss may be your greatest enemy or your best friend - choose +wisely +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +266. A pair of good ears will ring dry a hundred tongues +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +267. Wish not so much to live Long, as to live well +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +268. a) When in doubt, lie + b) When in doubt, buy + c) When in doubt, demand more money + d) When in doubt, shoot them, take their money, run and blame someone + else +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +269. Never purchase anything that has been promised to be valuable or go up in +value +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +270. It's better to have gambled and lost than to never have gambled at all +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +271. There's many witty men whose brains can't line their pockets +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +272. The way to a Ferengi's heart is through his wallet +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +273. Always count their Latinum before selling anything +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +274. There is no profit in love; however, a strong heart is worth a few bars +of Latinum on the open market. Keep it on ice +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +275. Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +276. If at first you don't succeed, try to acquire again +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +277. Diamonds may be girl's best friend, but you can only buy the girl with +Latinum +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +278. It's better to swallow your pride than to lose your profit +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +279. Never close a deal too soon after a female strokes your lobes +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +280. An empty bag can not stand upright +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +281. Blood is thicker than water, but harder to sell +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +282. Business is like war; it's important to recognize the winner +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +283. Rules are always subject to change +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +284. Rules are always subject to interpretation +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +285. No good deed ever goes unpunished +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +286. When Morn leaves it is all over +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +287. Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, +it's easier to exploit them the next time. (Neelix made this rule up) +% +Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: +The Unwritten Rule: When no appropriate Rule applies, make one up! +% +Zek's Revised Ferengi Rules of Acquisition: +Rule 001 » If they want their money back, give it to them. +% +Zek's Revised Ferengi Rules of Acquisition: +Rule 010 » Greed is dead. +% +Zek's Revised Ferengi Rules of Acquisition: +Rule 021 » Never place profit before friendship. +% +Zek's Revised Ferengi Rules of Acquisition: +Rule 022 » Latinum tarnishes, but family is forever. +% +Zek's Revised Ferengi Rules of Acquisition: +Rule 023 » Money can never replace dignity. +% +Zek's Revised Ferengi Rules of Acquisition: +Rule 285 » A good deed is its own reward. +%