#
#
#
-%title Guards! Guards! (2)
+%title Guards! Guards! (14)
+# p. 283 (ROC edition)
%passage 1
-Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in yourself.
-The world would be a happier place if more people remembered that.
+"I see you're very comfortable here," said Vimes weakly.
+
+"Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in
+yourself," said the Patrician, laying out the food on the cloth. "The
+world would be a happier place if more people remembered that."
[Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
+# p. 133
%passage 2
These weren't encouraged in the city, since the heft and throw of a
-longbow's arrow could send it through an innocent bystander a hundred
-yards away instead of the innocent bystander at whom it was aimed.
+longbow's arrow could send it through an innocent bystander a hundred
+yards away rather than the innocent bystander at whom it was aimed.
+
+ [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 26 (first and second paragraphs are actually end of one section,
+# start of next one; first 'Thunder rolled...' had three dot
+# elipsis, second hand has four, elipsis plus final period--
+# first changed to four here so that they match)
+%passage 3
+Thunder rolled....
+
+It is said that the gods play games with the lives of men. But what games,
+and why, and the identities of the actual pawns, and what the game is, and
+what the rules are--who knows?
+
+Best not to speculate.
+
+Thunder rolled....
+
+It rolled a six.
+
+ [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 48 (passage is a footnote)
+%passage 4
+One of the remarkable innovations introduced by the Patrician was to make
+the Thieves' Guilde /responsible/ for theft, with annual budgets, forward
+planning and, above all, rigid job protection. Thus, in return for an
+agreed average level of crime per annum, the thieves themselves saw to it
+that unauthorized crime was met with the full force of Injustice, which was
+generally a stick with nails in it.
+
+ [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 87 (passage ends mid-paragraph)
+%passage 5
+"Well, sir," he said, "I know that dragons have been extinct for thousands
+of years, sir--"
+
+"Yes?" The Patrician's eyes narrowed.
+
+Vimes plunged on. "But sir, the thing is, do /they/ know?" [...]
+
+ [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 114 (passage is a footnote)
+%passage 6
+The Guild of Fire Fighters had been outlawed by the Patrician the previous
+year after many complaints. The point was that, if you bought a contract
+from the Guild, your house would be protected against fire. Unfortunately,
+the general Ankh-Morpork ethos quickly came to the fore and fire fighters
+would tend to go to prospective clients' houses in groups, making loud
+comments like "Very inflammable looking place, this" and "Probably go up
+like a firework with just one carelessly dropped match, know what I mean?"
+
+ [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 131 (Sherlock Holmes)
+%passage 7
+Once you've ruled out the impossible then whatever is left, however
+improbable, must be the truth. The problem lay in working out what was
+impossible, of course. That was the trick, all right.
+
+There was also the curious incident of the orangutan in the night-time....
+
+ [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 150 (Dirty Harry with a small swamp dragon rather than a .45 Magnum...)
+%passage 8
+A streak of green fire blasted out of the back of the shed, passed a foot
+over the heads of the mob, and burned a charred rosette in the woodwork
+over the door.
+
+Then came a voice that was a honeyed purr of shear deadly menace.
+
+"/This is Lord Mountjoy Quickfang Winterforth IV, the hottest dragon in the
+city. It could burn your head clean off./"
+
+Captain Vimes limped forward from the shadows.
+
+A small and extremely frightened golden dragon was clamped firmly under one
+arm. His other hand held it by the tail.
+
+The rioters watched it, hypnotised.
+
+"Now I know what you're thinking," Vimes went on, softly. "You're
+wondering, after all this excitement, has it got enough flame left? And,
+y'know, I ain't so sure myself..."
+
+He leaned forward, sighting between the dragon's ears, and his voice
+buzzed like a knife blade:
+
+"What you've got to ask yourself is: Am I feeling lucky?"
+
+They swayed backwards as he advanced.
+
+"Well?" he said. "/Are/ you feeling lucky?"
+
+ [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 154 (passage is a footnote; ten pages later, Sergeant Colon uses the
+# old version of the proverb)
+%passage 9
+The phrase "Set a thief to catch a thief" had by this time (after strong
+representations from the Thieves' Guilde) replaced a much older and
+quintessentially Ankh-Morpork proverb, which was "Set a deep hole with
+spring-loaded sides, tripwires, whirling knife blades driven by water power,
+broken glass and scorpions, to catch a thief."
+
+ [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 174 (passage starts mid-paragraph)
+%passage 10
+[...] There was no difference at all between the richest man and the
+poorest beggar, apart from the fact that the former had lots of money,
+food, power, fine clothes, and good health. But at least he wasn't
+any /better/. Just richer, fatter, more powerful, better dressed and
+healthier. It had been like that for hundreds of years.
+
+ [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 205
+%passage 11
+"Might have been just an innocent bystander, sir," said Carrot.
+
+"What, in Ankh-Morpork?"
+
+"Yes, sir."
+
+"We should have grabbed him, then, just for the rarity value," said Vimes.
+
+ [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# pp. 262-263 (passage is a footnote; 'practise', 'practised' are accurate)
+%passage 12
+A number of religions in Ankh-Morpork still practised human sacrifice,
+except that they really didn't need to practise any more because they had
+got so good at it. City law said that only condemned criminals should be
+used, but that was all right because in most of the religions refusing to
+volunteer for sacrifice was an offense punishable by death.
+
+ [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 292
+%passage 13
+There were times when an ape had to do what a man had to do...
+
+The orangutan threw a complex salute and swung away into the darkness.
+
+ [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 299-300 + 325 (final part comes quite a bit later; Carrot is trying to
+# alert oblivious Sergeant Colon that the dragon is coming)
+%passage 14
+"This is what it comes to!" muttered Colon. "Decent women can't walk down
+the street without being eaten! Right, you bastards, you're... you're
+/geography/--"
+
+"Sergeant!" Carrot repeated urgently.
+
+"It's history, not geography," said Nobby. "That's what you're supposed to
+say. History. 'You're history!' you say."
+
+"Well, whatever," snapped Colon. "Let's see now--"
+
+[...(quite a while later)...]
+
+"You heard the Man," he rasped. "One false move and you're... you're--" he
+took a desparate stab at it--"you're Home Economics!"
[Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
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