A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of
marble; then you chip away everything that doesn't look like an elephant.
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- A hard-luck actor who appeared in one coloossal disaster after another
+ A hard-luck actor who appeared in one collossal disaster after another
finally got a break, a broken leg to be exact. Someone pointed out that it's
the first time the poor fellow's been in the same cast for more than a week.
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We're constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which
people are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread products.
-Just as food can be bad for your system, music can be bad for your spirtual
+Just as food can be bad for your system, music can be bad for your spiritual
and emotional feelings. It might taste good or clever, but in the long run,
it's not going to do anything for you.
-- Bob Dylan, "LA Times", September 5, 1984
- Fred Brooks, Jr.
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Digital computers are themselves more complex than most things people build:
-They hyave very large numbers of states. This makes conceiving, describing,
+They have very large numbers of states. This makes conceiving, describing,
and testing them hard. Software systems have orders-of-magnitude more states
than computers do.
- Fred Brooks, Jr.
your side.
- Han Solo
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-How many QA engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
+How many QA engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
3: 1 to screw it in and 2 to say "I told you so" when it doesn't work.
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-How many NASA managers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
+How many NASA managers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
"That's a known problem... don't worry about it."
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"Unibus timeout fatal trap program lost sorry"
- An error message printed by DEC's RSTS operating system for the PDP-11
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-How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
+How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored
power tools.
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-How many Bavarian Illuminati does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
+How many Bavarian Illuminati does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three: one to screw it in, and one to confuse the issue.
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-How long does it take a DEC field service engineer to change a lightbulb?
+How long does it take a DEC field service engineer to change a light bulb?
It depends on how many bad ones he brought with him.
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Absolute: Independent, irresponsible. An absolute monarchy is one in which
the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins. Not
many absolute monarchies are left, most of them having been replaced by
-limited monarchies, where the soverign's power for evil (and for good) is
+limited monarchies, where the sovereign's power for evil (and for good) is
greatly curtailed, and by republics, which are governed by chance.
-- Ambrose Bierce
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"Facts are stupid things."
-- President Ronald Reagan
- (a blooper from his speeach at the '88 GOP convention)
+ (a blooper from his speech at the '88 GOP convention)
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"The argument that the literal story of Genesis can qualify as science
collapses on three major grounds: the creationists' need to invoke
put in one good, clean punch. That's all I ask.
-- Martin Amis, _Money_
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-"Love may fail, but courtesy will previal."
+"Love may fail, but courtesy will prevail."
-- A Kurt Vonnegut fan
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New York is a jungle, they tell you. You could go further, and say that
I think most of us are interested in examining and discussing literary
(and musical) works that possess a certain stylistic excellence and perhaps a
rather extreme perspective; this is what CP is all about, no? Maybe there
-should be a newsgroup like, say, alt.postmodern or somthing. Something less
+should be a newsgroup like, say, alt.postmodern or something. Something less
restrictive in scope than alt.cyberpunk.
-- Jeff G. Bone
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-- Richard Sexton, richard@gryphon.COM
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"And it's my opinion, and that's only my opinion, you are a lunatic. Just
-because there are a few hunderd other people sharing your lunacy with you
+because there are a few hundred other people sharing your lunacy with you
does not make you any saner. Doomed, eh?"
-- Oleg Kiselev,oleg@CS.UCLA.EDU
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-- Senator Adlai E. Stevenson
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"The ACLU has stood foursquare against the recurring tides of hysteria that
->from time to time threaten freedoms everyhere... Indeed, it is difficult
+>from time to time threaten freedoms everywhere... Indeed, it is difficult
to appreciate how far our freedoms might have eroded had it not been for the
Union's valiant representation in the courts of the constitutional rights
of people of all persuasions, no matter how unpopular or even despised
as he tastes them, thinking he knows them in the naming."
-- Siddartha, _Lord_of_Light_ by Roger Zelazny
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-"Irrigation of the land with sewater desalinated by fusion power is ancient.
+"Irrigation of the land with seawater desalinated by fusion power is ancient.
It's called 'rain'."
-- Michael McClary, in alt.fusion
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projects / fortune-mod / commitdiff