#
#
#
-%title Hogfather (1)
+%title Hogfather (10)
+# p. 1 (Harper Torch edition)
%passage 1
-#addition text contributed by Boudewijn
-Everything starts somewhere, though many physicists disagree.
+Everything starts somewhere, though many physicists disagree.
+
But people have always been dimly aware of the problem with the start of
-things. They wonder how the snowplough driver gets to work, or how the
+things. They wonder how the snowplow driver gets to work, or how the
makers of dictionaries look up the spelling of words. Yet there is the
-constant desire to find some point in the twisting, knotting, ravelling
+constant desire to find some point in the twisting, knotting, raveling
nets of space-time on which a metaphorical finger can be put to indicate
-that here, /here/, is the point where it all began . . .
+that here, /here/, is the point where it all began ...
/Something/ began when the Guild of Assassins enrolled Mister Teatime,
-who saw things differently from other people, and one of the ways that
+who saw things differently from other people, and one of the ways that
he saw things differently from other people was in seeing other people
-as things (later, Lord Downey of the Guild said, 'We took pity on him
-because he'd lost both parents at an early age. I think that, on
-reflection, we should have wondered a bit more about that.')
+as things (later, Lord Downey of the Guild said, "We took pity on him
+because he'd lost both parents at an early age. I think that, on
+reflection, we should have wondered a bit more about that.")
+
+ [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# pp. 28-29
+%passage 2
+If asked to describe what they did for a living, the five men around the
+table would have said something like "This and that" or "The best I can,"
+although in Banjo's case he'd probably have said "Dur?" They were, by the
+standards of an uncaring society, criminals, although they wouldn't have
+thought of themselves as such and couldn't even /spell/ words like
+"nefarious." What they generally did was move things around. Sometimes
+the things were on the wrong side of a steel door, or in the wrong house.
+Sometimes the things were in fact people who were far too unimportant to
+trouble the Assassins' Guild with, but who were nevertheless inconveniently
+positioned where they were and would be much better located on, for
+example, a sea bed somewhere.(1) None of the five belonged to any formal
+guild and they generally found their clients among those people who, for
+their own dark reasons, didn't want to put the guilds to any trouble,
+sometimes because they were guild members themselves. They had plenty of
+work. There was always something that needed transferring from A to B or,
+of course, to the bottom of the C.
+
+(1) Chickenwire had got his name from his own individual contribution to
+the science of this very specialized "concrete overshoe" form of waste
+disposal. An unfortunate drawback of the process was the tendency for
+bits of the client to eventually detach and float to the surface, causing
+much comment among the general poplation. Enough chicken wire, he pointed
+out, would solve that, while also allowing the ingress of crabs and fish
+going about their vital recycling activities.
+
+ [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# pp. 109-110
+%passage 3
+Although it was Hogswatch the University buildings were bustling. Wizards
+didn't go to bed early in any case,(1) and of course there was the
+Hogswatchnight Feast to look forward to at midnight.
+
+It would give some idea of the scale of the Hogswatchnight Feast that a
+light snack at UU consisted of three or four courses, not counting the
+cheese and nuts.
+
+Some of the wizards had been practicing for weeks. The Dean in particular
+could now lift a twenty-pound turkey on one fork. Having to wait until
+midnight merely put a healthy edge on appetites already professionally
+honed.
+
+(1) Often they lived to a time scale to suit themselves. Many of the
+senior ones, of course, lived entirely in the past, but several were like
+the Professor of Anthropics, who had invented an entire temporal system
+based on the belief that all the other ones were a mere illusion.
+
+Many people are aware of the Weak and Strong Anthropic Principles. The
+Weak One says, basically, that it was jolly amazing of the universe to be
+constructed in such a way that humans could evolve to a point where they
+could make a living in, for example, universities, while the Strong One
+says that, on the contrary, the whole point of the universe was that
+humans should not only work in universities, but also write for huge sums
+books with words like "Cosmic" and "Chaos" in the titles.(2)
+
+The UU Professor of Anthropics had developed the Special and Inevitable
+Anthropic Principle, which was that the entire reason for the existence of
+the universe was the eventual evolution of the UU Professor of Anthropics.
+But this was only a formal statement of the theory which absolutely
+everyone, with only some minor details of a "Fill in name here" nature,
+secretly believes to be true.
+
+(2) And they are correct. The universe clearly operates for the benefit
+of humanity. This can be readily seen by the convenient way the sun comes
+up in the morning, when people are ready to start the day.
+
+ [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# pp. 112-113 (we end this passage mid-paragraph...)
+%passage 4
+"Watch this, sir," said Ponder. "All right, Adrian, initialize the GBL."
+
+"How do you do that, then?" said Ridcully, behind him.
+
+"It ... it means pull the great big lever," Ponder said, reluctantly.
+
+"Ah. Takes less time to say."
+
+Ponder sighed. "Yes, that's right, Archchancellor."
+
+He nodded to one of the students, who pulled a large red lever marked "Do
+Not Pull." Gears spun, somewhere inside Hex. Little trapdoors opened in
+the ant farms and millions of ants began to scurry along the networks of
+glass tubing. Ponder tapped at the huge wooden keyboard.
+
+"Beats me how you fellows remember how to do all this stuff," said Ridcully,
+still watching him with what Ponder considered to be amused interest.
+
+"Oh, it's largely intuitive, Archchancellor," said Ponder. "Obviously you
+have to spend a lot of time learning it first, though. [...]"
+
+ [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# pp. 139-140
+%passage 5
+"Tell me, Senior Wrangler, we never invited any /women/ to the
+Hogswatchnight Feast, did we?"
+
+"Of course not, Archchancellor," said the Senior Wrangler. He looked up
+in the dust-covered rafters, wondering what had caught the Archchancellor's
+eye. "Good heavens, no. They'd spoil everything. I've always said so."
+
+"And all the maids have got the evening off until midnight?."
+
+"A very generous custom, I've always said," said the Senior Wrangler,
+feeling his neck crick.
+
+"So why, every year, do we hang a damn great bunch of mistletoe up there?"
+
+The Senior Wrangler turned in a circle, still looking upward.
+
+"Well, er ... it's well, it's ... it's symbolic, Archchancellor."
+
+"Ah?"
+
+The Senior Wrangler felt that something more was expected. He groped
+around in the dusty attics of his education.
+
+"Of ... the leaves, d'y'see ... they're symbolic of ... of green, d'y'see,
+whereas the berries, in fact, yes, the berries symbolize ... symbolize
+white. Yes. White and green. Very ... symbolic."
+
+He waited. He was not, unfortunately, disappointed.
+
+"What of?"
+
+The Senior Wrangler coughed.
+
+"I'm not sure there /has/ to be an /of/," he said.
+
+"Ah? So," said the Archchancellor thoughtfully, "it could be said that
+the white and green symbolize a small parasitic plant?"
+
+"Yes, indeed," said the Senior Wrangler.
+
+"So mistletoe, in fact, symbolizes mistletoe?"
+
+"Exactly, Archchancellor," said the Senior Wrangler, who was now just
+hanging on.
+
+"Funny thing, that," said Ridcully, in the same thoughful tone of voice.
+"That statement is either so deep it would take a lifetime to fully
+comprehend every particle of its meaning, or it is a load of absolute
+tosh. Which is it, I wonder?"
+
+"It could be both," said the Senior Wrangler desperately.
+
+"And /that/ comment," said Ridcully, "is either very perceptive or very
+trite."
+
+"It could be bo--"
+
+"Don't push it, Senior Wrangler."
+
+ [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 170 ([sic], sentence at end of paragraph should have fourth period)
+%passage 6
+What Ponder was worried about was the fear that he was simply engaged in a
+cargo cult. He'd read about them. Ignorant(1) and credulous(2) people,
+whose island might once have been visited by some itinerant merchant
+vessel that traded pearls and coconuts for such fruits of civilization as
+glass beads, mirrors, axes, and sexual diseases, would later make big model
+ships out of bamboo in the hope of once again attracting this magical
+cargo. Of course, they were far too ignorant and credulous to know that
+just because you built the shape you didn't get the substance ...
+
+(1) Ignorant: the state of not knowing what a pronoun is, or how to find
+the square root of 27.4, and merely knowing childish and useless things
+like which of the seventy almost identical-looking species of the purple
+sea snake are the deadly ones, how to treat the poisonous pith of the
+Sago-sago tree to make a nourishing gruel, how to foretell the weather by
+the movements of the tree-climbing Burglar Crab, how to navigate across
+a thousand miles of featureless ocean by means of a piece of string and a
+small clay model of your grandfather, how to get essential vitamins from
+the liver of the ferocious Ice Bear, and other such trivial matters. It's
+a strange thing that when everyone becomes educated, everyone knows about
+the pronoun but no one knows about the Sago-sago.
+
+(2) Credulous: having views about the world, the universe and humanity's
+place in it that are shared only by very unsophisticated people and the
+most intelligent and advanced mathematicians and physicists.
+
+ [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 244 (mantelpiece: it's dark and Ponder is checking whether the Hogfather
+# [Discworld analog of Santa Claus/Father Christmas] has been there
+# and left presents in the stocking the Librarian has hung)
+%passage 7
+There was silence again, and then a clang. The Librarian grunted in his
+sleep.
+
+"What are you doing?"
+
+"I just knocked over the coal shovel."
+
+"Why are feeling around on the mantelpiece?"
+
+Oh, just ... you know, just ... just looking. A little ... experiment.
+After all, you never know."
+
+"You never know what?"
+
+"Just ... never know, you know."
+
+"/Sometimes/ you know," said Ridcully. "I think I know quite a lot that
+I didn't used to know. It's amazing what you /do/ end up knowing, I
+sometimes think. I often wonder what new stuff I'll know."
+
+"Well, you never know."
+
+"That's a fact."
+
+ [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 330
+%passage 8
+IT GETS UNDER YOUR SKIN, LIFE, said Death, stepping forward. SPEAKING
+METAPHORICALLY, OF COURSE. IT'S A HABIT THAT'S HARD TO GIVE UP. ONE PUFF
+OF BREATH IS NEVER ENOUGH. YOU'LL FIND YOU WANT TO TAKE ANOTHER.
+
+ [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 336
+%passage 9
+HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL
+MEETS THE RISING APE.
+
+"Tooth Fairies? Hogfathers? Little--"
+
+YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE /LITTLE/
+LIES.
+
+"So we can believe the big ones?"
+
+YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.
+
+ [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett]
+%e passage
+# p. 343 (Mr. Teatime [pronounced Teh-ah-tim-eh] has just been thwarted in
+# his elabrate plot to lure and then kill Death)
+%passage 10
+"What did he do it all for?" said Susan. "I mean, why? Money? Power?"
+
+SOME PEOPLE WILL DO ANYTHING FOR THE SHEER FASCINATION OF DOING IT, said
+Death. OR THE FAME. OR BECAUSE THEY SHOULDN'T.
[Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett]
%e passage
# Used for interaction with Death.
#
%section Death
-%title Death Quotes (7)
+%title Death Quotes (8)
%passage 1
-WHERE THE FIRST PRIMAL CELL WAS, THERE WAS I ALSO. WHERE MAN IS, THERE AM I. WHEN THE LAST LIFE CRAWLS UNDER FREEZING STARS, THERE WILL I BE.
+WHERE THE FIRST PRIMAL CELL WAS, THERE WAS I ALSO. WHERE MAN IS, THERE AM I. WHEN THE LAST LIFE CRAWLS UNDER FREEZING STARS, THERE WILL I BE.
%e passage
# Feet of Clay, p. 17 (Harper Torch edition)
%passage 2
%e passage
# Men at Arms, p. 27 (Harper Torch edition)
%passage 3
-THINK OF IT MORE AS BEING ... DIMESIONALLY DISADVANTAGED.
+THINK OF IT MORE AS BEING ... DIMENSIONALLY DISADVANTAGED.
%e passage
# Soul Music, p. 146 (Harper Torch edition; we omit "said Death," after comma)
%passage 4
%passage 7
THERE IS A LITTLE CONFUSION AT FIRST. IT IS ONLY TO BE EXPECTED.
%e passage
+# Hogfather, p. 343 (Harper Torch edition; Death "lives" outside of normal
+# time and space)
+%passage 8
+THERE IS ALWAYS TIME FOR ANOTHER LAST MINUTE.
%e title
%e section
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