On connect, call only one of BEV_EVENT_CONNECTED or writecb.
Previously, if we had a socket bufferevent in connect state, we'd send
both of these to indicate that the connection was done. That was broken
since the point of adding BEV_EVENT_CONNECTED was so that we could
distinguish "we're connected" and "we wrote something".
Now, writecb is called only when
A) the connection finished but the user never put the socket into a
"connecting" state, or
B) data was actually written.