(d) Pull lacy underwear from your raincoat pocket and ask
if he recognizes the label.
%
-FORTUNE TESTS THE GREAT MANAGERS: #6
-
-You are having lunch with a prospective vendor talking about what could be
-your best deal of the year. During the conversation a blonde walks into
-the restaurant and she is so stunning you draw your companion's attention
-to her and give a vivid description of what you would do if you had her alone
-in your hotel. She walks over to your table and the vendor introduces her as
-his daughter. Your next move is to:
-
- (a) Ask for her hand in marriage.
- (b) Pass out and hope for sympathy.
- (c) Forget the business; repeat the conversation to the
- daughter and get her number.
- (d) Turn red and slink off into the men's room.
-%
FORTUNE TESTS THE GREAT MANAGERS: #9
You are making a sales presentation to a group of corporate executives
the guy who wore a tux to his vasectomy, because he figured that
if he was going to be impotent he might as well look impotent.
%
-Hear about...
- the handsome bachelor Senator who hired a ravishing blonde as his
- assistant and then made her the object of a long Congressional probe?
-%
Hear about...
the high school drum major who dated two of the majorettes and
so enjoyed the breasts of both whirlers?
Q: What did the little ghetto-dweller get for Christmas?
A: Your bicycle.
%
-Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
-A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until
- they go down on you.
-
-Q: What's the advantage to being married to a blonde?
-A: You can park in the handicapped zone.
-
-Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw
- puzzle in only 6 months?
-A: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years".
-%
Q: What do a walrus and a tupperware container have in common?
A: They both like a tight seal.
%
Q: What do WASPs do instead of making love?
A: Rule the country.
%
-Q: What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
-A: An interpreter.
-
-Q: Why do blondes have square breasts?
-A: They forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
-
-Q: What do you call ten blondes in a row?
-A: A wind tunnel.
-%
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: What does it matter? He can't come anyway.
moth ball in the other hand?
A: One hell of a big moth!
%
-Q: What does a blonde do first thing in the morning?
-A: She goes home.
-
-Q: Why does blonde have fur on the hem of her dress?
-A: To keep her neck warm.
-
-Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday?
-A: Tell her a joke on Friday.
-%
Q: What goes
Click. "Did I get it?"
Click. "Did I get it?"
Q: What is the last thing a Kansas stripper takes off?
A: Her bowling shoes.
%
-Q: What is the mating call of a blonde?
-A: I think I'm drunk.
-
-Q: What's the call of a disappointed blonde?
-A: I *said*, I *think* I'm drunk!
-
-Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
-A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"
-%
Q: What is the sound of one cat napping?
A: Mu.
%
Q: What's red and covered with little dents?
A: Snow White's cherry.
%
-Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
-A: I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B - L - O - uhh ... ah ... oh well..
- I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea...
-
-Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
-A: Artificial intelligence.
-
-Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
-A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.
-%
Q: What's the difference between "Oooh" and "Aaah"?
A: About three inches.
%
Jo Kopechne drowned?
A: Do you have any idea how hard it is to dress a woman underwater?
%
-Q: Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
-A: To see what was on the other side.
-
-Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering wheels?
-A: More head room.
-
-Q: How does a blonde turn on the light after having sex?
-A: She opens the car door.
-%
Q: Why did the epileptic cross the road?
A: He couldn't help it.
Q: How can a blind skydiver tell when he is near the ground?
A: The leash goes slack.
%
-Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
-A: Because they get their head stuck in the jars.
-
-Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
-A: To keep their ankles warm.
-
-Q: How do you kill a blonde?
-A: Put spikes in her shoulder pads.
-%
Q: Why is Mrs. Carter always on top when she and Jimmy make love?
A: Because all Jimmy Carter can do is fuck up.
%
A: Because when she was 16, a group of boys tied her up and
gang-rejected her.
%
-Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
-A: It takes too long to retrain them.
-
-Q: What's the mating call of the brunette?
-A: All the blondes have gone home!
-
-Q: How do you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
-A: There's white-out on the screen.
-%
Q: Why was Cinderella banished from the Magic Kingdom?
A: For sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming, "Tell the truth!
Tell a lie! Tell the truth! Tell a lie!"
Why is it that there are so many more horses' asses than there are horses?
-- G. Gordon Liddy
%
+Q: Heard about the <ethnic> who couldn't spell?
+A: He spent the night in a warehouse.
+%
+Q: How do you know when you're in the <ethnic> section of Vermont?
+A: The maple sap buckets are hanging on utility poles.
+%
+Q: What does friendship among Soviet nationalities mean?
+A: It means that the Armenians take the Russians by the hand; the
+ Russians take the Ukrainians by the hand; the Ukranians take
+ the Uzbeks by the hand; and they all go and beat up the Jews.
+%
projects / fortune-mod / blobdiff