1 This is a list of the data files included with this distribution, and
4 In an ideal world, someone would maintain the fortune databases, having
5 an email address and a web page where new fortunes could be submitted.
6 I'd do it myself, except that I'm going to lose this account, and the
7 account doesn't permit CGI scripts. If you want to set up such a
8 service, have CGI access, but don't have the skills to set up an HTML
9 form for submissions, drop me a line and maybe I can work something up
12 Offensive fortunes are installed by default. To *not* install them,
13 change the "OFFENSIVE" variable in the makefile from 1 to 0 (or delete
14 the directory of offensive fortunes, if you wish.
16 At the end of this file is another listing of the filenames, without
17 descriptions, in order of size as size is understood by the fortune
18 program--that is, number of text strings (as reported by strfile on
19 October 19, 1995, just before tarring this mess for upload--sizes may be
20 slightly off, since I'll try to check for duplicates at least once more).
22 ./datfiles/ : the directory for inoffensive fortunes
24 art : Broadly construed; it includes television and celebrities.
25 ascii-art : each one worth a thousand words, I guess.
26 computers : various fortunes that are computer-related. This includes
27 the 'joke' fortunes that are supposed to emulate system
28 error messages, as well as some neat stuff.
29 cookie : Cookie file from Karl Lehenbauer's postings to alt.sources
30 definitions : It ought to be all the 'definitions,' but what it really
31 is, is all the definitions that have a first line ending
33 drugs : Alcohol and cigarettes, mostly. Legal chemicals.
34 education : Schools, teachers, and scholarship, mostly not complimentary.
35 ethnic : Jokes that are about groups of people, but aren't making
36 fun of them. Laughing with instead of at.
37 food : Recipes, diets, and more about food.
38 fortunes : Yes, the old file name, but this contains predictions,
39 evaluations of character, and the kind of stuff that you
40 actually expect to get when you want to know your fortune.
41 goedel : Meta-fortunes. Incomplete, of course. :-)
42 humorists : Stand-up comedians, and people like Dave Barry. Especially
43 stuff that doesn't fit into another category (almost anything
44 that Steven Wright says doesn't fit a category).
45 kids : Real advice and cynical observations on children, parenting,
47 law : Stupid laws, stupider lawyers. *No* joke about a lawyer
48 is *ever* offensive (except to lawyers, and who cares?).
49 linuxcookie : From the collection at ftp.icce.rug.nl. Linux-related.
50 It probably ought to go in with 'computers,' but it's
51 archived separately, so I'm keeping it separate.
52 literature : Mostly classic authors; a few newbies. And Bulwer-Lytton.
53 It should contain more on writing and by writers, but a lot
54 of that somehow got into art.
55 love : What no one gets enough of, I guess.
57 medicine : Doctors and cures. And other contradictory juxtapositions.
59 men-women : And the relations between them.
60 miscellaneous : Whatever's left over.
61 news : On journalism, and the unintentionally amusing bits of
63 people : You know, humans. Personality, appearance, relationships,
64 and all the other evilness of which humans are capable.
65 It should probably be several smaller files (personality,
66 appearance, relationships ...)
67 pets : Mostly cats and dogs, with some goldfish. And penguins.
69 platitudes : The meaning of life, and of other things, including all those
70 stupid little sayings, and variants on them.
71 politics : Comments on man as a political animal. Also police,
72 soldiers, and other criminals.
73 riddles : Not really riddles, necessarily, but mostly Q: A:
74 science : Largely math and engineering, but some other interesting
75 and amusing sorts of science-related apothegms. Also
77 songs-poems : Stuff with meter, at least, and usually with rhymes.
78 sports : You know. Like on television. ;-)
79 startrek : Apparently quotes from Star Trek Classic. Plus a bit.
80 translate-me : A small file containing non-English quotes without
82 wisdom : Zen, the True Meaning of Life, and other stupid lies.
83 work : Really about the business world, and the pains of being a
84 part of it. The desperate problems of the wealthy. Like
86 zippy : Quotes from the comic Zippy the Pinhead.
89 ./datfiles/off/ : the directory for offensive fortunes, already rot13'd.
90 they aren't distributed. All the offensive fortunes,
91 unrotated, are found in the subdirectory:
92 ./datfiles/off/unrotated/ : unrotated, offensive fortunes*
94 atheism : Wayne Aiken's atheism cookie file, from:
95 http://www4.ncsu.edu/~aiken/
96 astrology : Like in the daily newspapers, except nastier. More would
97 be nice. A few comments *about* astrology.
98 black-humor : Death, violence-as-humor, and the like. Really sick stuff.
99 definitions : Like the inoffensive; first line ends with a colon and
100 it looks sorta like a definition.
101 drugs : Various references to illegal herbs and chemicals.
102 ethnic : Nasty slams at particular ethnic groups. 'Ethnic' actually
103 includes regionalist jokes in America.
104 hphobia : Slams at gays and lesbians.
105 limerick : There once was a file named limerick, / the contents of
106 which were pretty slick. / Each fortune five lines, /
107 with execrable rhymes, / And contents t'offend the fanatick.
108 misandry : Anti-man stuff. Smaller than 'misogyny.' Wotta surprise.
109 miscellaneous : It has everything that doesn't fit in other categories.
110 misogyny : Jokes that women encounter as real attitudes daily. Real
111 attitudes that women have to pretend are jokes daily.
112 politics : The great wonder about the offensive political file is
113 that it mostly contains direct quotes by politicians
114 who *weren't* trying to be funny.
115 privates : No, not promoted recruits. The naughty bits, that people
116 aren't supposed to talk about. Body parts and functions.
117 (Note that "size" has nothing to do with sex, so size
118 jokes are all in here).
119 racism : Racism. I suppose it's funny to *someone*. I hope I
121 religion : Stuff that might offend religious people, mostly Christians.
122 riddles : Not really riddles, but usually the question format,
123 some Q&A and some just leading/rhetorical questions.
124 sex : Uhh. Well, you see, son, there are, umm, birds, and bees...
125 This ranges from outrageously frank to moderately suggestive.
126 songs-poems : Filthy, bawdy, naughty songs and poems! Licentious, I tell
127 tell you! The programmer must be spanked! First the
129 vulgarity : Jokes in which the 'humor' is bad language, plus some
130 genuinely funny things that happen to contain bad language.
132 ./datfiles/html/ : the directory for fortune files with HTML tags.
133 Currently empty, but I'll get a round tuit.
135 The intention throughout has been to create something a bit more
136 manageable and maintainable, without notable success in most cases. A
137 more rational division of the fortunes would be preferred, but you do
138 what comes naturally.
140 If you prefer to have all the fortunes in one humongous file, that's fine:
141 cat 'em all together and run strfile. That's easy; breaking them apart
142 again isn't. Keep in mind that the "-o" infix format is not supported in
143 this version of fortune, so keep the offensive files in a separate
146 *If any of these files are not to your taste, do the easy thing: rm
147 filename.dat. That leaves the fortunes there, but without the pointer
148 file, inaccessible. Or rm filename, which gets rid of the text strings.
150 There are over 15,000 'fortunes' here, in the various files. Here's the
151 breakdown, by file and directory.
projects / fortune-mod / blob