WEBVTT

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And now, tonight's presentation of radio's outstanding,

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Twitter of Trolls, Suspense.

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Tonight, the story of a rehearsal and a performance of murder.

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We call it The Cellar.

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So now, starring Mr. Eric Snowden, here is tonight's Suspense play, The Cellar.

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I've got to put it away, and that's a fact.

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I've thought about it for a long time, 16 years to be exact.

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I've been married 20, and I think I owe it to myself to do something about it now.

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It's the principle of the thing, if you follow me.

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First of all, I don't like her voice.

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Jaw, jaw, jaw, horrible sound.

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She goes at it morning, noon, and night.

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You never heard the like.

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Or maybe you did.

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It goes something like this.

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Oscar! Oscar, how many times am I about to tell you not to put your feet on the attic?

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You think all I've got to do is to spend my days cleaning off your dirty boot marks.

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And for heaven's sake, I don't know, I'm sure, why I've got to do everything in the house.

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It's bad enough the way I strump and sigh, weak in and weak out, to keep a clothe of bread in our mouths.

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Never an hope, I'm sure, of having somebody to help with the work.

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I really don't know why you don't get a better position, always dreaming of what we're going to do.

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If you'd only asked the back-bone liar, jaw, jaw, jaw, jaw, jaw, jaw, jaw, jaw, jaw, jaw, jaw, jaw, not you!

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Bloody awful, ain't it?

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I've worked it out on paper.

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There's 60 seconds in a minute and 3,600 seconds in an hour, and 86,400 seconds in 24 hours.

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You listen to that for 20 years and then you go off your bleasy nut.

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Sooner or later it's got to stop, and that's a fact.

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And there's other things.

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She puts some kind of sheep oil on her hands and pours it into bed, and who gets smeared with it?

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Who else?

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Goodness knows, I try to keep myself looking halfway decent.

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It's not like I can afford a manicure twice a week like Mrs. Plimpton.

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I should think you'd be grateful.

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That shucks about it.

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You think that's not a good reason to do it in your life?

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I don't mind telling you, it helps.

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And she's always putting her feet on me back.

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Says they're cold and wants me to warm them for her.

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They're cold all right.

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Like a blinking mackerel.

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Shows my back.

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And she thinks she's all stuffed about keeping accounts.

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Always guessing about saving.

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And I get two bob-a-weeks spending money.

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I ask you, how can a man live on that?

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It's a perishing injustice.

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So all in all, that's why I got a killer.

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Everything's ready and I suppose I might as well get on with it.

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Well, there.

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That looks about right.

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Millie?

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Millie?

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What is it, Arthur?

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Could you come down for a minute, love?

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Where are you?

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In the cellar, sweetheart.

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I'm busy.

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That'll only take half a mile.

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I've got something to show you down here.

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I've got a job, it's just one business and another.

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What's my business?

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The film's not gonna get you covered in it.

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You'll get a bad father, not much.

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We tell you there's a lot better things to do

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than to boil something down every time you want something.

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Keep your hair on, love, it won't be long.

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I'm so hot in here, I'm pale all right.

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Sure, I don't know why I put up with it,

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you messing about down here while I'm...

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Oscar Wiggins!

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What are you doing with my cellar?

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Why is it all dug up like that?

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You go on by me.

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Now, you put every scrap of that dirt back in the old-ish minute.

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You hear me?

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I never.

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All right, love, I will.

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Don't worry.

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And don't you dare come upstairs till you've cleaned off your boots.

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I will not have that mess all over me clean kitchen floor.

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All right, Uncle Off-Drop,

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I just wanted to get an idea of the size.

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It looks all right.

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What are you talking about?

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Right for what?

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For you, dear.

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Nummy, you've been drinking.

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You've been drinking, that's what.

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Not a drop.

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I'm at Sea Totem and you know that milk.

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No milk, though.

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The time has come, as the wall has said to the carpenter,

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your time.

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You pick up that spide this instant and fill in every bit of that oil.

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And no argument, you hear?

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All right, old cop.

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When you're done, you'll march yourself up there to wash your hands of vape,

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because supper will be on in ten minutes and I will not have it spoiled.

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No, I've got something I've got to say to you.

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Eh?

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I'm fed up with your jaw, fed to the teeth, and that's a fact.

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How dare you!

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Who do you think you're talking to?

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I'm fed up with your greasy hands and I'm fed up with your clammy feet.

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But most of all, Mill, I'm fed up with you.

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Oscar?

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So I'm going to do you in.

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Oscar, don't you look at me like that.

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Don't you touch me or I'll have the law on you.

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I don't give a frid for you and I don't give a frid for the laws.

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I work it all out.

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And if you think you can get up them stairs before I bash your head in,

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you're very much mistaken.

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Oh, he's going to murder me!

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Oh, he's going to murder me!

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Help! Help me! Murder me!

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Oh, you've got an horrible voice.

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Help! Help!

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My old mum always used to say,

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Oscar, if ever you do anything in this world, do it right.

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I remembered her words as I covered up the mortal remains of my ever loving ex, Millie Wittgen.

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I deterred a corker.

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One good whack on the S, so there wasn't much of a mess, if you follow my meaning,

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took me about 15 minutes to cover her up nice and neat like.

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And then I went upstairs.

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You don't mind telling her?

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Give me a bit of a turn when I open the front door.

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I hadn't had time to wash up yet, but I wasn't too worried.

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Not until I saw her standing outside.

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It was a cop, gauntly by name.

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He's got the beat on my square.

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Evening, Mr. Wittgen.

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Evening, Mr. Gauntly.

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Sorry to have to trouble you, but I had a complaint.

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Sorry to hear that, Mr. Gauntly.

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Complaint states that an audible vowel was emanating from your house.

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A vowel?

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Screams more like.

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Screams? Who's?

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That's the nature of the inquiry, Mr. Wittgen.

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I'd be obliged if you could shed some light.

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Happy to, if I knew how I could help.

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The, uh, missus at home?

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No, she ran off to the picture palace.

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You know, these women and their ruddy pictures.

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What time did she go?

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I don't know. About an hour ago.

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No one else here?

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Not a living soul, except myself.

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Hmm.

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You been doing any screaming, Mr. Wittgen?

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Not bloody likely. What do you take me for?

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All in the nature of the inquiry, Mr. Wittgen. No offense, I hope.

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None took, Mr. Gauntly.

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Oh, no.

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Clean as hour, I have me duty to perform.

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I hope you'll allow me to have a look about the primitives, Mr. Wittgen.

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Seems to me a man's got his right, but I always hold to aid in the law.

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If you're looking his aid in, help yourself, Mr. Gauntly.

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Your mind's telling me what you're looking for.

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Two neighbors swear they heard the sounds coming from here.

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Maybe it was on the radio.

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It's not on.

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It saved me making the report, Mr. Wittgen.

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Pretty obliging of you, I'm sure.

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Phil, I don't think there's a need to bother you anymore.

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I'll just, uh...

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Hello.

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Cut yourself?

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Huh? How?

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Oh, that now.

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Cutting up a bit of beef for grub.

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Thought I'd give the missus a nice surprise when she gets home.

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I was in the kitchen when you knocked.

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Sorry to have disturbed you, Mr. Wittgen, all right.

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Makes the bloke feel safer knowing there's law nearby.

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Nice to have you face up, Wittgen.

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Good evening.

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Evening, Mr. Gauntly.

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Lummy.

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That was a close one, all right, but I handled it nicely.

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The worst of it was over.

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Copper had dinged and gone, and I'd have at least 24 hours to clear out.

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Maybe longer.

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At 8 o'clock, like I'd planned it, Maggie Jones turned up.

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Oh, what a bit of story she had.

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Lovely.

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I'd met her a couple of months before, and I hadn't told her what I had in mind.

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But I knew she wouldn't care when she heard.

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After all, it was all done for her, mostly.

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Oh, Oscar, I didn't love you.

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Heavenly ain't it.

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When she was coming home.

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Oh, I do feel something awful carrying on this way.

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Maggie, love, sit down.

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I've something to say to you.

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Maggie, will you run off with me?

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Run away? With you?

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But how can I?

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You're a married man, and what would my mom and dad think?

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Maggie, love, all I have is yours.

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You don't have to worry about a blinking thing.

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Everything is taken care of.

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Taken care of for now.

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What's your wife going to say?

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She ain't going to say nothing.

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Maggie, for love of you, I've done her in.

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You've done her in?

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That's right.

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Where is she?

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What did you do with her?

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You're just about sitting over her now.

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She's buried in the cellar.

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Oh boy, how horrible.

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You did it for me, Oscar.

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For you, sweetheart.

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Oh, how you must love me.

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Never a truer word.

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Now, listen here, Duck, it's all arranged.

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In the morning, I'm taking the savings out,

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and you and me are buzzing off.

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There's a boat sailing for South America

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to the Argentine at eight o'clock tomorrow night.

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We'll be on it.

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Oh, I don't know what my mom and dad will say.

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Don't tell them.

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Write to them.

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From the Argentine.

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Oh, Oscar, you make it so hard for a girl to say no.

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Give us a kiss of no more argy-bargy.

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How many years is that?

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Oh, Oscar.

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You up in the kitchen.

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She won't be a sec.

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All right, all right, Mark, you're not coming.

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Good evening, Oscar.

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Oh, it's you.

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Where's me daughter?

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Out, out.

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Won't be out for a bit.

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Then I'll wait.

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Oh, close the door, Oscar.

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There's a drop down me back.

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It was that audible old cow, Mrs. Quill.

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Poor old Millie's mother.

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And when she says she's going to wait, she means it.

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Last time it took two weeks to get rid of her.

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Now, what was I going to do about her?

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You are listening to The Cellar, tonight's presentation in radio's outstanding theater of thrills, Suspense.

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You might ask me to sit down, Oscar, wouldn't you?

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Oh, oh yes, sit down, mother dear.

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Still daydreaming, I think.

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Not much improvement in you since the last time I was here.

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Oh, Millie and me, we was going out when she came to visit.

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Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

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I'm sorry.

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I'm sorry.

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I'm sorry.

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I'm sorry.

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I'm sorry.

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I'm sorry.

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I'm sorry.

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I'm sorry.

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We was going out when she came back.

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Why don't you drop in over the weekend?

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She'd love to see you.

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You can stay for a bit if you'd like.

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I've traveled across all from London to visit me daughter.

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I've no intention of going home tonight.

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You can go out if you want to, Oscar.

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Millie will stay here and talk to her mother.

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Oh.

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I haven't had me supper yet.

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I brought a nice bit of smoked daddocks.

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I'll go in and put it on.

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No, I mean you sit here comfortable like.

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I'll do it.

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You?

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Don't make me laugh.

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You think I want me attic ruined?

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I said, mother dear, I'll cook your ruddy attic for you.

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Take it or leave it.

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How dare you?

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How dare you address me in that fashion?

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Go boil your head.

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Oh, you naughty little worm.

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Just wait till Millie hears about this.

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You wait.

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Matter of fact, this is my house,

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and I didn't hear no invitation for you to come in tonight.

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You've been drinking.

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Once and for all, I have not been drinking.

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Now buzz off.

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I will not leave this house until me daughter comes in that door.

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I'm going to give you ten seconds, mother dear, to op it.

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Then I'm going to land you one you won't forget.

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One, two.

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You dare to hit an old woman.

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Three, four.

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You'll lay an end on me.

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Five, six.

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You must be insane.

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Seven, eight.

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Oh, my Millie is.

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Nine, ten.

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Oh.

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Ah.

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Ah.

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Now that's something I've wanted to do for a long time.

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All clear, Aggie, love.

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Oh, I was, I was that frightened.

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Don't you worry, you're pretty yet.

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Everything's bright as rain.

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Now you'll have to be off.

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Wouldn't it be good to have anybody else snooping around and find you here?

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Not a word to anyone, see?

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You'll meet me at the marble art station at four o'clock tomorrow, see?

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But what about me clothes, Oscar?

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Mama'll ask where I'm going.

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Leave it to me.

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I'll buy you all the clothes you want.

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That's one thing I've got to say for poor old Millie.

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She wasn't a very nuttish in woman, but she was a saving one.

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She was wanted to go abroad.

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Oh, but ain't it awful?

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A nation means going with a married man and a murderer.

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You're all going to marry me, aren't you, Oscar?

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Marry you?

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What a question.

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I've got memorials same as the next bloke.

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Of course I'm going to marry you.

16:28.000 --> 16:33.000
Oh, Oscar, I know it's wicked, but I can't wait till tomorrow.

16:33.000 --> 16:36.000
You dream about it, love, and before you know it, it'll be tomorrow.

16:36.000 --> 16:37.000
Now go on.

16:37.000 --> 16:40.000
You'd better leave by the back door.

16:47.000 --> 16:49.000
The next morning at ten, I was in the bank.

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I had my slip made out to withdraw my savings,

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and a nice little drop it was too, 800 quid.

16:55.000 --> 17:00.000
I was waiting for the money when a tallish bloke comes out to me from behind a gate,

17:00.000 --> 17:03.000
all smiles and treacle he was.

17:03.000 --> 17:04.000
Mr. Widgerton?

17:04.000 --> 17:05.000
Yes, sir, I?

17:05.000 --> 17:06.000
How do you do?

17:06.000 --> 17:08.000
I'm Mr. Four-Paw, the manager.

17:08.000 --> 17:11.000
I understand that you wish to withdraw your savings.

17:11.000 --> 17:12.000
That's right.

17:12.000 --> 17:14.000
I trust you found no fault with our service?

17:14.000 --> 17:16.000
No, just what's mine.

17:16.000 --> 17:17.000
That's all?

17:17.000 --> 17:19.000
Of course, of course, naturally.

17:19.000 --> 17:23.000
The eyeing past of the reason you're withdrawing the fund,

17:23.000 --> 17:24.000
is there apt to be a reason?

17:24.000 --> 17:26.000
No, no, no, not at all.

17:26.000 --> 17:29.000
But since you've been such a faithful depositor for so many years.

17:29.000 --> 17:34.000
Oh, well, the truth is, Mr. Four-Paw, me and the missus thought we'd take a bit of an ology.

17:34.000 --> 17:38.000
You know, the Riviera, a little sunshine and polyvoo.

17:38.000 --> 17:40.000
Oh, yes, I see.

17:40.000 --> 17:43.000
Then of course, sir, you want to leave a sum here with us?

17:43.000 --> 17:44.000
No, I want it all.

17:44.000 --> 17:47.000
But my dear sir, you can't spend it abroad.

17:47.000 --> 17:49.000
Who says I can't?

17:49.000 --> 17:51.000
The government, sir, the government.

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A maximum of 50 pounds need be taken out of the country.

17:55.000 --> 17:57.000
Yes, what are you giving me?

17:57.000 --> 17:59.000
But surely you know that it's common knowledge.

17:59.000 --> 18:04.000
No, to me it ain't. It's my money. I can do as I please with it.

18:04.000 --> 18:08.000
Here in England, yes, but you can't take it out of court.

18:08.000 --> 18:09.000
It's a ruddy injustice.

18:09.000 --> 18:10.000
That's what it is.

18:10.000 --> 18:13.000
I charge, I give the point, sir. I'm conservative.

18:13.000 --> 18:14.000
That's your odd luck.

18:14.000 --> 18:19.000
Now you and over my money, see, what I do with it is my business.

18:19.000 --> 18:20.000
Opt to it.

18:20.000 --> 18:22.000
Just as you please, Mr. Widgeon.

18:22.000 --> 18:25.000
Ah, Mr. Easton, I oversteeped you. I'd like to hear...

18:25.000 --> 18:28.000
I've done it. They've done it.

18:28.000 --> 18:31.000
What in blazes am I going to do now?

18:37.000 --> 18:40.000
I shelved the 800 quid in her pocket and went home.

18:40.000 --> 18:43.000
And that's what I should never have done.

18:43.000 --> 18:48.000
Because when I got there, the old cow was standing in front of the door

18:48.000 --> 18:51.000
and the copper gorm we was with her.

18:51.000 --> 18:54.000
There he is, Constable. There he is.

18:54.000 --> 18:57.000
Ask him what he's done with my little daughter. Ask him.

18:57.000 --> 19:00.000
Ask more and you meddling old hag.

19:00.000 --> 19:04.000
Now then, now then. No language at your place, Mr. Widgeon.

19:04.000 --> 19:07.000
There's a lady's upset because she has knocked on the door

19:07.000 --> 19:09.000
and there's no answer for moving in.

19:09.000 --> 19:10.000
Well, what's that to her?

19:10.000 --> 19:12.000
She's worried about Mrs. Widgeon.

19:12.000 --> 19:15.000
It's me own flesh and blood I'm worrying about.

19:15.000 --> 19:16.000
I've got a right.

19:16.000 --> 19:18.000
She ain't home. That's all.

19:18.000 --> 19:19.000
Then where is she?

19:19.000 --> 19:21.000
She went out shopping.

19:21.000 --> 19:22.000
He's lying.

19:22.000 --> 19:26.000
She went home last night and he put me out by force.

19:26.000 --> 19:28.000
Threatened to do me a mischief.

19:28.000 --> 19:31.000
He's done something to her. You mock my words.

19:31.000 --> 19:33.000
How would you like a fat blip?

19:33.000 --> 19:35.000
Now then, now then.

19:35.000 --> 19:38.000
Look here, I ain't got time to stand here arguing.

19:38.000 --> 19:41.000
Constable, you go in that house and see what's what.

19:41.000 --> 19:43.000
He wouldn't let me in the kitchen last night.

19:43.000 --> 19:47.000
Outside I'd see the blood and gore where he's access a business.

19:47.000 --> 19:48.000
You go in there.

19:48.000 --> 19:51.000
Mr. Widgeon wouldn't do a thing like that, ma'am.

19:51.000 --> 19:54.000
Now, why don't you go to the corner house

19:54.000 --> 19:56.000
and have a nice cup of tea.

19:56.000 --> 19:58.000
And by the time you're finished,

19:58.000 --> 20:01.000
your daughter will be home just like Mr. Widgeon's is.

20:01.000 --> 20:02.000
That's right.

20:02.000 --> 20:06.000
I ain't moving from here till I see her alive with me own eyes.

20:06.000 --> 20:10.000
Yeah, it's all one with me, but you ain't sitting foot inside.

20:10.000 --> 20:13.000
I'm not having you break up my happy home.

20:13.000 --> 20:15.000
He's afraid. He's afraid to let me in.

20:15.000 --> 20:18.000
He knows what I'll find. He knows.

20:18.000 --> 20:20.000
Oh, look at him standing there.

20:20.000 --> 20:24.000
The stain of his horrible deed still in his wicked eyes.

20:24.000 --> 20:29.000
Mr. Widgeon, I hate to ask you, but to oblige,

20:29.000 --> 20:32.000
will you let this lady come in and satisfy yourself?

20:32.000 --> 20:34.000
You've seen for yourself, Mr. Gormley.

20:34.000 --> 20:35.000
You've seen last night.

20:35.000 --> 20:39.000
You're the law. If you can't be satisfied, who can?

20:39.000 --> 20:40.000
I ask you.

20:40.000 --> 20:41.000
Ah, get him.

20:41.000 --> 20:45.000
He's got few hypnotized like he had my poor Millie.

20:45.000 --> 20:48.000
Talk a wink of law for Billy Wood, but not me.

20:48.000 --> 20:50.000
I want you in, I am.

20:50.000 --> 20:55.000
Mr. Widgeon, to oblige, they'll have a look at that.

20:55.000 --> 20:59.000
Oh, blimey, what I have to put up with from this old gas bag.

20:59.000 --> 21:03.000
All right, all right, but it's the last time.

21:03.000 --> 21:05.000
Don't say I didn't warn you.

21:10.000 --> 21:14.000
She went through the house like a ruddy bloodhound,

21:14.000 --> 21:16.000
and there wasn't nothing.

21:16.000 --> 21:18.000
Not an air, not a place.

21:18.000 --> 21:20.000
Mr. Gormley followed her with me,

21:20.000 --> 21:24.000
and I could see it was a very aggravating position for him.

21:24.000 --> 21:27.000
Mr. Gormley likes to keep the peace,

21:27.000 --> 21:32.000
but by the time we got to the cellar, he was clear out of patience.

21:33.000 --> 21:36.000
Well, satisfied?

21:36.000 --> 21:38.000
Are you satisfied?

21:38.000 --> 21:40.000
You want to look in the cold, then?

21:40.000 --> 21:42.000
Go on, get your hands nice and dirty.

21:42.000 --> 21:46.000
Sorry to have troubled you, Mr. Widgeon, not mentioning.

21:46.000 --> 21:48.000
As for you, Mrs. Quill,

21:48.000 --> 21:53.000
I don't want to see your nasty face around here until I give the word.

21:53.000 --> 21:56.000
You stay out of Millie's and my way, see?

21:56.000 --> 22:00.000
And if you don't, I'll have you put in charge.

22:00.000 --> 22:03.000
That's my right, ain't they, Mr. Gormley?

22:03.000 --> 22:07.000
In the manner of speaking, disturbing the peace, Mr. Widgeon.

22:07.000 --> 22:10.000
Right, and she's disturbing my peace.

22:10.000 --> 22:13.000
Now I'll thank you to leave my house.

22:21.000 --> 22:25.000
Of course, when you come right down to it, I suppose they're right.

22:25.000 --> 22:28.000
In a way, I am a dreamer.

22:28.000 --> 22:30.000
Always have been.

22:30.000 --> 22:36.000
To tell the truth, I ain't got no 800 pound, not even 80.

22:36.000 --> 22:39.000
And I ain't no Eggy Jones.

22:39.000 --> 22:42.000
But I wish there was.

22:42.000 --> 22:47.000
There's only Millie's mother and Millie,

22:47.000 --> 22:56.000
and them greasy hands and cold feet and jaw, jaw, jaw.

22:56.000 --> 23:01.000
And if I hang from what I'm trying to do, it'll be worth it.

23:04.000 --> 23:06.000
There.

23:06.000 --> 23:09.000
That looks about right.

23:09.000 --> 23:12.000
Millie? Millie?

23:12.000 --> 23:13.000
What is it, doctor?

23:13.000 --> 23:16.000
Could you come down for a minute, love?

23:16.000 --> 23:17.000
Where are you?

23:17.000 --> 23:19.000
In the cellar, sweetheart.

23:19.000 --> 23:20.000
Why are you sitting?

23:20.000 --> 23:22.000
It'll only take half a month.

23:22.000 --> 23:25.000
I've got something to show you down here.

23:25.000 --> 23:27.000
Doctor, one thing is another.

23:27.000 --> 23:28.000
What's my scene to the bone?

23:28.000 --> 23:29.000
Time to get yourself burned.

23:29.000 --> 23:32.000
You give a brass file, ain't I?

23:32.000 --> 23:37.000
You think I ever got better? You said you'd been burned up and down every time you want something.

23:37.000 --> 23:40.000
Keep your air on, love. It won't be long.

23:40.000 --> 23:43.000
You said be a little consideration. I'm very worn out.

23:43.000 --> 23:45.000
I'm sure I don't know why I put up with it.

23:45.000 --> 23:47.000
Oh, God, Richard.

23:47.000 --> 23:49.000
What are you doing with my cellar?

23:49.000 --> 23:51.000
Why is it all dug up like that?

23:51.000 --> 23:53.000
You're born barmy.

23:53.000 --> 23:57.000
Now you put every scrap of dirt back in the old list minute.

23:57.000 --> 23:59.000
You hear me?

23:59.000 --> 24:00.000
Oh, I never.

24:00.000 --> 24:04.000
I just wanted to get an idea of the size.

24:04.000 --> 24:06.000
It looks about right.

24:06.000 --> 24:09.000
What are you talking about? Right for what?

24:09.000 --> 24:33.000
For you, dear.

24:33.000 --> 24:46.000
Next week, the story of a handcuffed man and the woman who holds the key to his freedom.

24:46.000 --> 24:50.000
We call it, Give Me Liberty.

24:50.000 --> 25:09.000
That's next week on Suspense.

25:09.000 --> 25:14.000
Suspense is produced and directed by Anthony Ellis, who wrote tonight's play.

25:14.000 --> 25:18.000
The music was composed by Lucian Morrowick and conducted by Wilbur Hatch.

25:18.000 --> 25:29.000
Featured in the cast were Jeanette Nolan, John Boehner, Betty Harford, Paula Winslow, and Ramsey Hill.

25:29.000 --> 25:58.000
Suspense is presented by the United States Armed Forces Radio and Television Service.

25:58.000 --> 26:19.060
I will be engaged in the investigation and can't open the case

26:19.060 --> 26:43.860
This is the American Voices Network, Europe.

