Auto Light and its 98,000 dealers bring you Kathy and Elliot Lewis in tonight's presentation
of Suspense.
Tonight, Auto Light presents the story of a man who had everything to live for and committed
murder to prove it to himself.
Joker Wild, our stars Kathy and Elliot Lewis.
Hey Harlow!
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I know how important the electrical system is Harlow.
Sure you do Oscar, and you know too how important it is to have only auto light original service
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engineers who design complete electrical systems used as original equipment on many leading
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So friends, always insist on auto light original service parts for your auto light equipped
car.
It pays in performance.
And remember from bumper to tail light, you're always right with auto light.
Now auto light presents Joker Wilde starring Cathy and Elliot Lewis, hoping once again
to keep you in suspense.
Well if you think I'm pretty Mr. Malloy, I suppose it's your right to think so.
Oh you are Rosalie, you're very...
Very well, let us concede the point.
But let us also understand the circumstances under which you've made that statement.
Now here we are.
Rosalie.
Here we are Mr. Malloy with the great vast Pacific Ocean, a carpet so to speak under
our feet.
And the moon above and the sun.
Rosalie.
You must hear me out Mr. Malloy.
You know my friends all tell me I have the uncanny knack to size up any situation, romantic
or otherwise.
Now this situation for example...
Let's not knock the situation Rosalie, I planned it very carefully.
This takes planning?
Waiting to a lonesome girl from a long car?
Bringing her to a place like this where she can look strange and mysterious on a cliff
high above the ocean?
And what planning does it take to slip your arm about her as you've already done on numerous
occasions this evening?
Isn't that what you expected when you got in the car?
At first I confess I was very flattered Mr. Malloy, being who you are.
Having seen your movies, having heard you weekly on the radio, a famous comic personality
like you.
What girl wouldn't be flattered riding with Harry Malloy?
Come here Rosalie.
Why should I do that?
I want to talk to you.
I want to tell you something.
Very well.
Now what is it?
I'm a comedian.
You haven't been very funny this evening.
I know, you see this is an important evening for me, it's not a time to be funny.
You might not believe this but I've been looking for a girl like you.
Some line.
For a girl exactly like you.
For the last several nights I've been riding around the city just looking.
I saw you and I watched you for a long time.
Watched me?
I was driving along and I saw you come out of that restaurant.
You parked, I saw you walk towards that corner, I followed you.
Let me tell you this Mr. Malloy, if I hadn't just missed my bus you never would have gotten
me in your car.
Don't you like me Rosalie?
Personally you're a big disappointment.
When I get home tonight I'll tell my mother and father I met Harry Malloy and he's not
funny.
He's not at all like you.
No.
No you won't tell him that.
What?
Nothing.
It's very chilly Mr. Malloy and I've seen enough of the vast Pacific from a cliff.
You may take me home now.
No way.
You may take me home now please.
Listen Rosalie, you say you saw me in pictures.
Yeah every one.
Which one do you like best?
Are you taking a poll Mr. Malloy?
Just tell me which one do you like best?
Harry well, the one where you dressed up like a girl in the disguise.
You were funny.
I saw it three times.
You know that thing you do that funny way you walk.
You like that huh?
Always a scream.
I screamed I know that, I guess everybody does.
I'll do the bit for you, come on get out of the car.
That's it now give me a coat.
You mean it?
Sure I mean it.
All right.
What did I tell mom and pop?
Yeah there we are.
Turn your head Rosalie, I'm gonna roll up my pants legs.
There we are.
And this one.
You can look now Rosalie.
Can you whistle?
Sure.
Whistle.
What's the tune?
I'm funny huh?
I'm a funny man.
You're a scream.
Hey mom,elimizión, web lunat.
The fact that I just killed a girl doesn't change a thing.
I create comedy.
I stand up on a stage or my picture's on the screen or I stand behind a microphone.
People laugh.
Had that girl say it, an uncanny knack.
That's it.
And it's been going on for 22 years.
Think about it.
22 years making funnies.
It's quite a nice life.
Big cars, three of them, big house, two of them, one in Palm Springs, one in Hollywood.
Money, lots.
It's a nice life, but there's one problem.
No one takes me seriously.
Harry Molloy, comic, buffoon, clown, nothing else.
Even I began to believe it.
Until the other day I set up a problem for myself.
Harry, I said, you make people laugh.
How about making them cry?
To create comedy, I said.
Now let's see if you can create a tragedy.
So I planned it and I just did it.
I pushed the girl named Rosalie off a cliff.
She had a mom and pop.
They'll cry.
That's very tragic.
You know, the next couple of days I felt great.
You know the feeling.
You set your mind to do something and you do it.
And you tell people about it.
But how are you going to tell anybody you just pushed the girl off a cliff?
Then something else happened.
It was the third day after I did it.
Not a word in the papers about Rosalie.
Her body hadn't been found.
So for a man like me, a performer for 22 years, you can understand the crack I was in.
Not only couldn't I tell anyone what I did, no one even knew it was done.
So that evening I didn't feel so good.
I had to talk to someone.
I always talked to Liz.
Harry, lover, come in.
Come in, come in, wherever you are.
Betty, Bats, look what we got.
Look what we've got.
Kiss me, lover.
We're playing a game, Harry.
Come on.
Me and you, Harry, we'll kill him.
Let go, Bats.
I want to say hello to Freddie.
Just wave.
He'll understand.
Shut it out.
Liz, I want to talk to you.
We're playing a game, Harry.
It's important.
I got something on my mind.
Try it on all of us.
We'll laugh, darling.
We'll have a good time.
Hey Harry, I'm striped in certain seasons.
I got two legs and I hibernate.
Now what am I?
Later, Freddie, I want to talk to Liz.
It's the game.
What am I?
He's a bear in a pinstripe suit.
Don't tell him.
Liz.
You look worried, lover.
What's the matter?
Let's go in the kitchen.
For a drink of water, Harry?
I haven't had an invitation like that since I was 14.
How about that kiss, Harry?
Ask me into the kitchen.
Why, I haven't heard that since I was 12.
Let me know what happens, Liz.
I can't remember.
Please, Liz.
Sure.
Close the door.
What's the matter, honey?
I want you to tell me something.
All right, lover, you name it, you've got it.
What kind of a man am I?
That's the game Freddie and Vance are playing.
I want you to tell me.
You're foursquare, kind, courteous, loyal, obedient and trustworthy.
You're a lot of laughs and I love you.
You really love me, Liz?
No, not really.
But I'm a lot of laughs.
For 10 years since I've known you, up until just now, honey.
Just now, you're dull.
All of a sudden, I'm not a big yack and all of a sudden, I'm dull.
Is that the way it is?
That's right.
I'm going to tell you something, Liz.
You don't know me.
You don't know the kind of man I am.
All right, I'll play.
What kind of man are you?
I got things going for me nobody knows about.
All right already, and...
Inside it eats, Liz.
I got more to me than making people laugh.
Oh, yeah, gee, huh?
That's an old bitch.
You stay here in the kitchen and sing.
I'm going to go in and play with...
No, listen to me.
Lover.
Please, Liz, listen to me.
Make it brief, Harry.
Three days ago, I did something.
Something naughty?
Now listen, I've got to tell you about it.
I got to tell somebody about it or it's no good.
You flipped?
I'm not just a clown, Liz.
That's what I'm trying to tell you.
I did something important, something big.
This is the last bite I'll give you, Harry.
What did you do?
I made somebody cry.
Harry.
What?
These are the jokes, huh?
These are the jokes?
I did it!
Guess what I am?
I'm a fuzzy bear in a pinstripe suit.
See, Harry?
Freddie knows what he is, so I'm going to tell you what you are.
A comedian.
You're a funny fellow.
When you're not funny, Harry, you're dead.
Let's have laughs, huh?
That was Sunday evening.
Monday morning, a very large thing happened in my life.
It was served to me for breakfast with my eggs.
The morning newspaper had it headlined, girl washed up on beach at Malibu.
Girl identified as Rosalie Barton missing from home for four nights.
Identification by her mother and father.
Street address given.
The part that would never get in the papers, of course, was why it happened, which was
me, Harry Malloy, creator of tragedy.
I had to go see for myself.
Rosalie Barton lived in a cheap little California bungalow.
One floor, one palm tree, a geranium bed that needed watering.
One thing was funny, though.
Have you ever noticed the audience a tragedy gets, especially when it's for free?
Well, a Barton house didn't have it.
They should have been all over the lawn, onto the pavement, neighbors, kids, the people
who hop in their cars and come from all over the city to look me in on tears.
But no, nobody around.
I parked my car a couple of blocks away and walked to the house, up the path, onto the
porch, near the window.
I looked under the drawn window blind to see what I was looking for.
Hysterical parents, bewildered, grief stricken.
But I only saw a room.
No people.
And I saw this.
Near the window, a high boy.
And on it, a picture of the dead girl, looking at me and smiling at me.
I looked too.
I couldn't see anything.
Huh?
They're still at the funeral parlor, her mother and father.
They must be very upset, huh?
No, they're taking it real good.
I live right next door and I came over to see them last night and they're taking it real
wonderful.
Didn't even cry.
Oh.
Hey.
Yeah?
Aren't you Harry Malloy?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What do you mean her parents didn't cry?
Well, aren't you?
Sure you are.
Didn't they love their own daughter?
Why didn't they cry?
Well, if they did, nobody's son.
Hey, what are you doing here, Mr. Malloy?
Well, what happened?
I was just driving by.
Just driving by?
No, seriously.
I'd read about what happened.
Seriously?
You seriously?
Well, yeah.
I'm trying to tell you that I'm...
Hey, Jonesy, look who's here.
Harry Malloy.
Hey, no, wait.
This is my neighbor, Jonesy.
Harry Malloy.
Hi, Harry.
How are you?
Hey, you gonna be here a minute?
I want to get my wife.
Get your wife?
What do you need your wife for?
He kills me.
Wait a second.
Hey, Reba.
Reba, come here a minute.
Jonesy never does a thing without Reba.
You like Reba.
She's a great giggly.
Yeah, well, I gotta go.
Come on, stick around, Mr. Malloy, that the whole neighborhood feels bad about what happened
to Rose.
Oh, stick around.
You want funnies now?
A young girl, someone you knew murdered and all you do is laugh.
Something's wrong with you.
I'm sorry.
Hey, here's Reba.
Hi, Harry.
What are you laughing about?
I haven't said anything.
Some giggler, huh, Harry?
All right, calm down now.
I want to tell you something.
Reba?
Reba.
Seriously.
I want to tell you all why I'm here.
I read in the newspaper about a girl's being killed, and I was driving by...
He was driving by.
Get this.
Go on, Harry.
Go on.
Just like a similar situation happened to me once before.
No, seriously.
Ran out of gas, huh?
Had a flat tire, Harry?
What?
Go on, tell us what you're doing here.
You get this, Johnson.
Go on, Harry.
Well, I stopped by because I saw a fellow looked hungry, so I pulled over and I said,
oh, hey, you look hungry.
He said, no, I'm not hungry, but I would like 10 cents for a cup of coffee, so I offered
him a dime.
Yeah, honest, I did.
But he just shook his head.
He wouldn't take it.
I said, what's the matter, Misty?
He asked me for a dime for a cup of coffee, didn't he?
He said, if you don't mind, Mr. Malloy, I'd like 10 pennies.
I said, why?
He said, I like drip coffee.
So I gave him six pennies.
Let him drink it without cream.
You're the funniest man in the world, Mr. Malloy.
You killed me.
Auto Light is bringing you Kathy and Elliot Lewis in Joker Wild.
Tonight's presentation in radio's outstanding theater of thrills, Suspense.
Hey, Oscar, sound your horn.
Play your radio.
Start your engine.
Hey, what's all that for, hello?
Why, all those operations depend on the sure, smooth performance of your auto light electrical
system, Oscar.
And so do the lights, heater, electric windshield wiper and lighter.
They all depend on my auto light electrical system, Harlow.
They sure do, Oscar.
And what's more, your auto light electrical system works every second your engine runs.
That's why auto light electrical systems, designed to give the smoothest performance
money can buy, are used as original equipment on many leading makes of our finest cars,
trucks and tractors.
They're the best, Harlow.
Right you are, Oscar.
And friends, treat the electrical system of your car to a periodic checkup at your car
dealers or authorized auto light service station.
To quickly locate your nearest authorized auto light service station, look in the classified
section of your phone book or call Western Union by number and ask for operator 25.
And remember, from bumper to tail light, you're always right with auto light.
And now auto light brings back to our Hollywood soundstage, Kathy and Elliot Lewis.
In Elliot Lewis's production of Joker Wild, a tale well calculated to keep you in suspense.
I told them jokes and they laughed.
No tears, no tragedy, just funny stories.
I was a murderer and they were laughing.
It was a good performance, not exactly the one I counted on, but a good performance.
I left them laughing and begging for more.
But still there was the need, the need to tell somebody, make somebody believe me.
I'd done the biggest thing in my life and a good performer deserves appreciation, an
audience.
The size of the house didn't matter.
Go back to Liz.
Try again.
Hi, lover.
Can I come in?
When did you ever have to ask?
Had lunch?
No.
Come on, I'll pour you something.
All right.
Harry?
What?
What was wrong with you last night?
I tried to tell you, you wouldn't listen.
Ah, lover, was I mean?
Yes.
Yes, you were.
That's my Harry.
Drink your drink.
Yeah.
It's just Harry, nothing at all.
What is it, Harry?
You have this morning's paper, Liz?
This morning's paper.
Here, read this.
About the drowned girl?
I read it this morning over coffee.
What about it?
What kind of a man do you think could have done this?
Done what?
Murdered her.
Pushed her into the ocean.
Give me the paper.
What does it say she was murdered?
Here, was pushed.
Or fell.
You want a new kick, Harry?
What's the matter with you?
Liz, do me a favor, will you?
Sure.
Do it my way, will you?
Let's just play she was pushed into the ocean.
What kind of a man do you think could have done anything like that?
A nut.
Uh-uh.
Look, I don't get this.
What's it to me about this girl?
What's it to you?
What kind of a man did it?
A man of cold intelligence.
A crazy man.
A creative man.
One who wanted to express himself in a profound...
Profound.
Oh, brother, a nut.
You listen to me.
I'll tell you what kind of man murdered that girl.
I know.
Now, you just listen.
It was getting funny, lover.
I'll just answer the phone.
I'll be right back.
Hello?
Hi.
There's nothing.
Nothing at all.
Harry's here.
Oh, huh?
How was it?
Yeah, I thought so.
I have to see it myself.
What?
I can't hear you, darling.
Hang on a minute.
Harry, do your London Bridges later, huh?
Yeah.
Where were we?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah?
Just like that, huh?
That's life.
Sure, darling.
Of course.
What?
Oh.
What?
I guess so.
I guess it could be arranged.
Of course I can keep my mouth shut.
You know...
Wait a minute.
We're Harry.
Harry, I'm trying to talk to you.
Harry!
Harry's split.
I call you back.
Try it with your head, Harry.
You need a cold shower or whatever boys do when they act like this.
What's the matter, lover?
All right, all right.
All right what?
I'm getting out of here.
You won't listen to me.
I'll find somebody who'll listen.
Tell me, baby.
I'll listen to you.
It's about that girl.
What girl, baby?
The girl named Rosalie, the one in the paper.
The murdered girl.
Oh, baby.
Answer me one thing.
All right.
Do you think I could have killed her?
You?
Well, answer me.
You?
Answer me.
Shut up.
Liz.
Liz, please.
You.
You haven't answered me, Liz.
I'll tell you, lover, if you want to know.
You're the seven wonders of the world.
Life hits you in the face, you run to the joke file.
A gag for each and every situation.
That's all I am, huh?
I'm not finished.
Go on.
Face it, lover.
Nobody takes you seriously.
That's why everybody likes you, because you're no problem.
This business with banging the piano, that's the joke file I haven't been in with you before.
Just one thing.
Mm-hmm.
Just don't get worrisome around me, Harry.
You won't be welcome around here.
And that's it?
Yep.
All right.
Why do you hear him?
I'm borrowing your carving knife for a minute, Liz.
What for?
You see, Liz, there's no use trying to tell you something.
I got to prove it to you.
This is going to be great.
It could be at that.
What's it going to be, Harry?
I'm going to kill you.
That's my Harry.
Yeah.
That's my bit, lover.
Yell, scream, run around.
Let's just work it out together.
Ready?
Come on, kill her.
Yeah.
Well?
I'm going to kill you.
You said that, Harry.
What's the matter?
You running out of material?
I'm not kidding.
I'm supposed to act scared.
All right, Harry.
Ah!
You just wait.
I don't know what you're doing, Harry.
You better have a finish.
Start running.
All right.
Swell.
Now I need a new lamp.
No, you won't be.
There.
That's the finish?
You fall flat on your face?
Oh, Harry, how corny can you get?
You stopped doing that bit when you left Vaudeville.
My nose.
It's bleeding, lover.
Move your head a little this way so you don't get it all over the rug, huh?
No.
Come on, sit up.
Sit up.
That's it.
Give me your knife.
Hold your head back.
Don't be a baby.
Hold your head back.
Bleed bad.
I'll get a towel and some ice cubes.
Hold your head back now, Harry.
Here.
How do you feel?
Hurts.
Put this ice in the back of your neck.
Stop it now.
Feels good.
Sure does.
Liz.
Mm-hmm.
That girl Rosalie.
Oh, look, Harry, I don't know what this new character is, but why don't you go home until
you get funny again?
I killed her.
Sure, sure.
I did, Liz.
I picked her up, drove her out to the ocean, pushed her off a cliff.
How's her nose?
It stopped bleeding.
Why don't you go home?
I'm not kidding, Liz.
I murdered that girl.
Oh, God.
You still don't believe me, do you?
No.
I tried to kill you, too.
You work it out.
We'll practice sometime.
Liz?
Mm-hmm.
Liz?
Don't you say, Liz.
I'm not kidding.
If I never was kidding, I've got to kill you to make you believe me.
Kill you, Liz.
It was a minor, 49er, and her name was Clementine.
Hiya, Harry.
How's the old kid?
Kiss me.
Where is Liz?
I'm forced to ask.
In there.
Right over there on the floor.
On the floor?
Hiya, Liz.
Hey, what's this, a new game, Harry?
She's dead.
Oh, we're supposed to ask questions.
You answer yes or no.
We're supposed to tell you who did it.
Such an old game.
What's the...
I did it.
I strangled her.
Hey, kid, you're taking all the fun out of it.
Freddie.
Huh?
Look.
Look at what?
That's Rote.
I strangled her.
Oh.
I don't believe it, Harry.
I don't believe it.
Oh, not you.
Liz wouldn't believe I could do a thing like this either.
Look what happened to her.
I can't believe it.
You will.
Stick around for police, Freddie.
Number, please.
Get me the police.
12th precinct, Sergeant Thor speaking.
This is Harry Malloy, Sergeant.
I just...
Harry Malloy?
The comic?
That's right.
I'm at five minutes...
Harry.
Hi, Harry.
What's on your mind?
I just murdered a woman.
What?
I just strangled a woman.
Several days ago, I threw a girl off the cliff.
And tonight's your night for strangling a...
Have a nice party, Harry.
No, listen.
I'm not kidding.
I killed a girl.
I killed two girls.
Sure, sure.
You can't believe me.
I'm a murderer.
Give me the phone, Harry.
Give me the police, operator.
Police?
I want to report a murder.
Five nine five East Channel Drive.
My name?
Fred Goodwin.
Thank you very much.
It'll be right over, Harry.
Harry, why?
I'm quite a guy, huh?
Answer me.
You're quite a guy.
Harry.
Listen to her, Freddie.
She's crying.
See what I can do?
Suspense.
Presented by Auto Light.
Tonight's stars, Cathy and Elliot Lewis.
This is Harlow Wilcock speaking for Auto Light.
Auto Light is proud to serve the greatest names in the industry.
They are members of the Auto Light family, as well as are the 98,000 Auto Light distributors
and dealers in the United States and thousands more in Canada and throughout the world.
Our family also includes the nearly 30,000 men and women in 28 great Auto Light plants
from coast to coast and Auto Light plants in many foreign countries, as well as the
18,000 people who have invested a portion of their savings in Auto Light.
Every Auto Light product is backed by constant research and precision built to the highest
standards of quality and performance.
So remember, from bumper to tail light, you're always right with Auto Light.
Next week, the true story about the solution to a murder, the documented report of a policeman's
patience, intelligence, and bravery.
The man with two faces, our star, Mr. Lloyd Nolan.
Next week on Suspense.
Suspense is produced and directed by Elliot Lewis with music composed by Lucian Morawick
and conducted by Lud Luskin.
Joker Wild was written for Suspense by Morton Fine and David Friedkin.
In tonight's story, Charlotte Lawrence was heard as Babs and Joseph Kearns as Freddie.
Featured in the cast were Lillian Bief, Gene Wood, Hi Aberback, Larry Thor, and Byron
Cain.
Auto Light takes this opportunity to pay special tribute to the automotive wholesalers of the
nation who this week will be attending the Automotive Service Industries Show in Atlantic
City.
This is the CBS Radio Network.