1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,000 Auto Light and its 96,000 dealers present Suspense. 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:15,920 Tonight, Auto Light brings you the One Millionth Joe, a suspense play produced and edited by 3 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:24,040 William Spear and starring Mr. Jack Carson. 4 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:28,900 I'm Al Jusant from A to Z in public relations is how I bill myself. 5 00:00:28,900 --> 00:00:31,840 And there was this stunt which I dreamed up for the Bureau of Better Business Promotion 6 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:34,600 to pay off the Fourth of July weekend. 7 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:39,320 But I hadn't counted on the fireworks, which in this case was a big 45 jammed in the middle 8 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:40,320 of my back. 9 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:49,920 Yes, in a moment, Mr. Jack Carson and a tale well calculated to keep you in suspense. 10 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:54,160 Say Wilcox, if the bases are loaded with two men out, who's the boy you'd like to see up 11 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:55,160 there at bat? 12 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,360 Why, the spark plug of the team, of course. 13 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:00,800 The lad who's right there with that sure fire never miss power. 14 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:04,560 Say, that reminds me of ignition engineered Auto Light spark plugs. 15 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:07,880 You see, Auto Light spark plugs are a vital part of the team too. 16 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:09,880 Well, how do you mean part of what team? 17 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:11,080 Well, just this half. 18 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:16,400 Auto Light engineers, engineer complete ignition systems used as original factory equipment 19 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,940 on many makes of America's finest cars. 20 00:01:18,940 --> 00:01:23,680 So naturally they engineer Auto Light spark plugs to work as a perfect team with the coil 21 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:27,520 distributor and all the other important parts of a car's ignition system. 22 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:28,520 And that's mighty important. 23 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:29,560 Yeah, I see. 24 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:33,480 That's what you mean when you say Auto Light spark plugs are ignition engineered. 25 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:34,960 Absolutely right, Hap. 26 00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:39,620 That's why they can't be beat for quick starting, smooth performance and gas mileage. 27 00:01:39,620 --> 00:01:43,480 So friends, see your friendly Auto Light spark plug dealer tomorrow. 28 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:48,320 Have worn out spark plugs replaced with world famous ignition engineered Auto Light spark 29 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:49,360 plugs. 30 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:54,280 Whether you choose the resistor type or the standard type, you can't buy a better spark 31 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:58,720 plug for your car because you're always right with Auto Light. 32 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:03,480 And now with the one millionth Joe and the performance of Jack Carson, Auto Light hopes 33 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:07,080 once again to keep you in suspense. 34 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:12,440 Yes, I'm Al Jusant, like I said. 35 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:16,360 I started to tell you about this publicity stunt I dreamed up for the Bureau of Better 36 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:17,960 Business Promotion. 37 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:25,000 Well, me and some businessmen with a few reporters, cameramen and such were out at the airport. 38 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:32,520 Come on, come on, gang. 39 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:33,960 This will be at gate five. 40 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,880 Come on, growling fellows, boys and girls. 41 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,360 Hey, Tiny, you got that camera hot? 42 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:40,800 You got your oranges, Mr. Wilder? 43 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:44,400 Yeah, I still think a three piece band looks poultry sent. 44 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,320 Poultry, schmaltry, Mr. Wilder. 45 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,200 What we care about is newspaper coverage. 46 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:51,520 Now, now, stand back when they start coming through the gate. 47 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:57,960 All door, gate five, passengers from the Bobcat Line, flight 16 from Houston. 48 00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,320 Well, another plane. 49 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,640 Is this a horse race or is this a horse race? 50 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,200 Boy, oh boy. 51 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,360 I declare I'm all over Goosebumps. 52 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:08,760 Is that the plane you chartered, Al Jusant, for all his relatives you're ringing in? 53 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:09,760 Oh, lay off. 54 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:10,760 This deal's on the level. 55 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:11,760 Oh, you kids. 56 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,280 He takes his cut coming and going. 57 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,280 Lay off. 58 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:16,920 Hey, here they come, so stand back. 59 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:19,280 You count, Wilder, and me and Mr. Allen will nab him. 60 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:23,040 Now, the last number was 999,990. 61 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:26,960 A ten to go, okay? 62 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:31,880 991, 992, 993. 63 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:42,480 Well, if I have to say so myself, I'm a pretty smooth operator. 64 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:47,240 At this moment, I had one client, the Bureau of BBP, and the stud I dreamed up for them 65 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:48,520 was a honey. 66 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:49,520 This was the setup. 67 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:54,760 Nab the one millionth Joe through the airport, be he male, female, or what have you, and 68 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:57,840 give this lucky character a 24-hour whirl in the house. 69 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:00,600 Pictures, prizes, tickets to this and that. 70 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,880 And all the businesses had chipped in and it was a good fat kitty. 71 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:07,800 And it worked out to be near the 4th of July, which was a great tie-in. 72 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:12,160 So now, a herd of passengers was stampeding through gate five from two planes. 73 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:15,440 The big Chicago plane and the little one from Houston. 74 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:18,680 And all unbeknownst to them, lightning was about to strike. 75 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:21,280 Hey, ain't this exciting, fellas, huh? 76 00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:22,280 Well, ain't it? 77 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:23,280 Hey, it's going to be that good. 78 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:24,280 That guy in the gray hat's moving up there. 79 00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:25,280 Hey, stand back, will you? 80 00:04:25,280 --> 00:04:26,280 Hey, hey, you, watch it, mister. 81 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:27,280 Oh, my chin, you stupid ape. 82 00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:28,280 Watch where you're going. 83 00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:29,280 Well, go on, go on, if you're in such a hurry. 84 00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:30,280 Hey, the guy wins. 85 00:04:30,280 --> 00:04:31,280 He knocked the gal out of the running. 86 00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:32,280 One million! 87 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,280 That's him! 88 00:04:33,280 --> 00:04:42,280 One moment, sir, I want to... 89 00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:47,280 What do you want? 90 00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:48,280 Who are you? 91 00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:49,280 Look over here, mister. 92 00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:50,280 Over here, look this way. 93 00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:51,280 What is this anyway? 94 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:52,280 I'm having a sick... 95 00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:53,280 Oh, please, let go. 96 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:54,280 You've made a mistake. 97 00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:55,280 Let go. 98 00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:58,760 No, no, look, they can't get pictures when you jump around like that. 99 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:00,120 I don't want my picture taken. 100 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:01,120 Let go. 101 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:02,120 How's this, Crowley? 102 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:03,120 Mister? 103 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:04,120 I'm going to tell you something. 104 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,680 Unbeknownst to you, you are the one millionth passenger to walk through these gates. 105 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:07,920 Let me go, or I'll... 106 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:12,480 As guest of the Bureau of V.B.P., from now on until the fourth of July, your hotel is 107 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:13,480 paid for. 108 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:18,520 Oh, you will visit the Lion Farm, and mister, hold still. 109 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:19,520 Pick on someone else. 110 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,520 I don't want anything. 111 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:25,080 You will lunch with a motion picture star, eat at a world-famous restaurant, be the recipient 112 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,600 of many free gifts, gratis. 113 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:33,080 A mixed sling cape, two dozen sports shirts, 2,000 cans of dog food, a free airplane for 114 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,360 you to pass anywhere in the whole wide world. 115 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:36,360 What? 116 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:39,920 Ah-ha, something strikes your fancy. 117 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,320 An airplane pass to, say, Brazil? 118 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:43,800 Sure, sure, you name it. 119 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:44,800 Yes, sir. 120 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,200 Even to the romantic land of your dreams, south of the board. 121 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,760 Now, sir, what is your name? 122 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:50,760 I'm A.D. Thompson. 123 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,360 And where are you from, mister Thompson? 124 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:53,360 Missouri. 125 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:54,360 Business man? 126 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:55,360 Missouri. 127 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:56,360 Yes, rugs, retired. 128 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:59,520 Did you and Plane to hear from Chicago or from Houston, mister Thompson? 129 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:00,520 Houston. 130 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:03,800 Pick up one of these oranges, mister Thompson, and tuck the crate under your arm. 131 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:04,800 Oh. 132 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:05,800 And smile. 133 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:06,800 Smile. 134 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:07,800 That's it. 135 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:08,800 Snap a tiny. 136 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:09,800 Got it. 137 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:13,400 On behalf of the Great Valley Citrus Company, it gives me pride and pleasure. 138 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,520 Two percent. 139 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:18,680 So how was I to know that the trouble was giving me the leer? 140 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:20,760 He looked sure fire. 141 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:25,000 Mr. A.D. Thompson, middle-aged, middle-sized, middle-ugly. 142 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:30,600 Mr. John Q. Public himself. 143 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:34,840 Well in the meantime, that blonde, the one mister Thompson rammed out of line on the 144 00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:38,320 other side of the gate, she'd been standing by listening. 145 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:43,760 She was a tall, rangy, good-looking blonde, and well, all of a sudden she moved in on 146 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:44,760 me. 147 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:45,760 You're running this powwow buster? 148 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,400 By rights, all those prizes belong to me. 149 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,720 Oh, now, honey, play fair. 150 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:54,280 Mister Thompson here sideswiped me or I would have come through the gate ahead of him. 151 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,720 Technically, miss, Mr. Thompson came through first. 152 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:59,720 Look, my shin hurts and I don't like being shoved around. 153 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:02,520 Win or lose, I can make trouble, buster. 154 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:05,120 I can sue you cross-eyed and you know it. 155 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,280 Uh, that, that you can. 156 00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:08,920 That, that she can, Mr. Wilder. 157 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,280 By saying that the Bureau gets sued, you'll be... 158 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:16,520 Well, miss, now, the Bureau wants to be perfectly fair and square with you, only I don't see 159 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:17,520 how... 160 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:21,000 Hey, in most contests where there's a tie, they have to give duplicate prizes, Mr. Wilder. 161 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,000 Yeah, thanks a lot. 162 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,000 Hey, yes, that's right. 163 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,360 We'll give duplicate prizes. 164 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,760 Well, that's more like it. 165 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:30,640 Okay, okay, music, boys. 166 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:33,960 Ladies and gentlemen of the press, we have a Miss one-in-a-million also. 167 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:38,800 Tell the boys your name, honey, where you're from and what you think of sunny California. 168 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,520 Well, I'm Vera Valerie. 169 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,640 I've lived all over, just flew in from Chicago. 170 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:44,760 Been singing in a place out there. 171 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:45,760 A canary, boy. 172 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,760 Oh, and I think California's just wonderful. 173 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:51,760 Give us a big smile, Miss Valerie. 174 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:52,760 Thank you. 175 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:53,760 There's a girl. 176 00:07:53,760 --> 00:08:05,200 Where's the guy with the grapefruit? 177 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:09,000 So the doll was declared in, which was okay by me. 178 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:14,520 In fact, every time she said hello, it was plain old nuclear fishing with me. 179 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:17,360 But that's not strictly a part of this story. 180 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:22,580 Well, anyhow, from the airport, I carted Thompson and Vera Valerie to the hotel diplomat where 181 00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:25,920 I live myself on a do-build. 182 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:30,320 There was considerable yammer about that extra free room gratis for Vera, but finally the 183 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:32,160 manager coughed up another single. 184 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:37,200 Now, there were some hours to kill before we could go out to the lion farm, so I took 185 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:42,120 a cold shower, made a few calls, and then went on my way to the whispering Palmer. 186 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,360 Well, high time, Buster. 187 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:45,360 I'm three up on you. 188 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:47,080 Well, I got problems now. 189 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:50,000 Henry, Henry, bring me a parson's pitfall. 190 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,560 Hey, how they treating you, honey? 191 00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:54,600 What's the number of your room? 192 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,840 Um, four something, 412, 420. 193 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,080 Well, I know it's the fourth floor. 194 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,720 Ah, well, that I'll check. 195 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:07,720 Yeah, I got headaches with this stunt, but you're worth it, doll. 196 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:09,440 Oh, I'll bet. 197 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:12,080 When I barged into the act, you wanted to wring my neck. 198 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:13,080 No, no, no. 199 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:17,080 I was only figuring how I could swing the whole show for you without Thompson. 200 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:18,080 Oh, sweet. 201 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:21,400 Well, since Wilder's promised double prizes. 202 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:26,320 Yeah, but I got to deliver on Big Mouth's promises, and the fur joint says one mink 203 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:27,320 cape, period. 204 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:28,320 Oh. 205 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:33,360 Also, France World told me they aren't serving double passes to Brazil this season. 206 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:36,440 But Thompson doesn't look like the mink coat type to me. 207 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:37,440 We can give him the... 208 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:41,040 Oh, but doll, it was a trip that you wanted. 209 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:42,040 Oh, forget it. 210 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,240 Only, why is Thompson so anxious to get the pass? 211 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:46,240 I don't know. 212 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:48,240 Look, Buster, I bought the newspapers. 213 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:49,640 Did you read this? 214 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:51,720 Texas police hunt ruthless killer. 215 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:53,920 Yeah, I noticed the headline. 216 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:55,920 Read the story. 217 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:56,920 What? 218 00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:02,880 Sheriff's office, Pikesville, Texas reported discovery of two murdered men, highway 26, 219 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,520 12 miles northeast of town. 220 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:10,840 Dead men members of gang who held up Arcana Oil Company's offices in Pikesville. 221 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,520 I don't get the drift. 222 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:15,760 Pikesville's near Houston, isn't it? 223 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:17,760 Sort of. 224 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:18,760 Yeah. 225 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:23,760 Police believe they were double crossed by a third member of gang who shot them, making 226 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:26,400 off with entire loot from robbery. 227 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,800 Notice how Thompson hung onto that briefcase. 228 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:32,760 Nearly $100,000 in large denomination bills. 229 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:33,760 Wow. 230 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:37,240 The serial numbers and so and so and so and so and so. 231 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:38,800 No description of killer available. 232 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:39,800 Interesting. 233 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:40,800 You've got something. 234 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:44,520 He wouldn't want to spend any of those bills here, but in Brazil. 235 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:45,520 Do we tip off the cops? 236 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:46,520 100 grand. 237 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:47,520 Huh? 238 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,320 Yeah, no, no, not yet. 239 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:50,320 Let me handle this, doll. 240 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:52,880 I'll stall them on that pass to Brazil till we know for sure. 241 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:56,360 You wouldn't make a deal with them, would you, bastard? 242 00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:57,360 Me? 243 00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:58,360 Well, that wouldn't be ethical. 244 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:00,160 But we got to have proof, honey. 245 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,840 Now, admit it, we got to have proof. 246 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,800 Which was the truth, but not quite the whole truth. 247 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:07,800 That I now admit. 248 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:12,040 You see, the thought of that 100 Gs had set me into a spin, and I wanted time to figure 249 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:15,600 out how I could cut in on those sweet, crisp deneros. 250 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,880 If I could prove that Thompson was my man. 251 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:23,520 Well, that afternoon, Thompson kind of played right into my hands. 252 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:26,040 We were out to the lion farm. 253 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:30,560 The boys were snapping pictures of Vera cuddling the king of beasts when Thompson, clutching 254 00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:33,360 that briefcase, pulled me off the one side. 255 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:37,560 No more pictures of me, Zant, and keep the ones they took at the airport out of the papers. 256 00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:38,560 Keep them? 257 00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:39,560 Say, that wouldn't be ethical. 258 00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:40,560 What do you mean? 259 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:45,240 Well, no paper's going to print two pictures on this stunt, and no offense, Thompson, but 260 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:48,280 whose puss would you choose if he was a desk man? 261 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:51,240 Yours or Vera's? 262 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:52,720 Which held him for the nuts. 263 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:58,000 And I had one more angle on Mr. T. That he was afraid somebody somewhere would know him 264 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,000 from his picture. 265 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:05,880 Well, that evening, we were in for Mike Romanoff's and Ciro's and Slapsy Max's. 266 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:14,640 For such a world, I always dress up like a dog's dinner, so I went up to my room to change. 267 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:15,640 Come in, Zant. 268 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:16,640 Close the door. 269 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:21,360 Well, Thompson, what are you doing here? 270 00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:22,360 Waiting for me? 271 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:26,200 Hey, you're not going to Romanoff's dressed like... 272 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,800 I'm not going out this evening. 273 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:28,800 Yeah? 274 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:29,800 Okay. 275 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,640 There's no skin off me if you buy your own dinner. 276 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:34,000 How soon do I get that ticket? 277 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,000 Ticket, chum? 278 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,000 To Brazil. 279 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,000 How soon can I leave? 280 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:40,400 Well, I guess there are flights every day to Mexico, and from there to Brazil... 281 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,840 Get my ticket for tomorrow night. 282 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:45,520 Well, now, that's one of the prizes that you and Vera got the toss for. 283 00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:46,520 You see, I don't see how... 284 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:47,520 Get that ticket tomorrow. 285 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:48,520 Give her the mink cake. 286 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:49,520 Give her anything, everything. 287 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:50,880 But I want that airplane pass. 288 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,640 Oh, it's clear you want it, but Vera... 289 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,080 I want it, and I'm going to have it. 290 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:57,080 Ah? 291 00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:00,280 Would you have a little deal in mind? 292 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,280 Deal? 293 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,080 Or words to that effect? 294 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:06,880 Maybe or maybe not. 295 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:10,920 Get the ticket, and we'll talk. 296 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:14,280 But deal or not, Zant, there's nothing I won't do to get that pass. 297 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:15,280 Do you understand? 298 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:16,280 Nothing! 299 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:17,280 I understand. 300 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:18,280 Nothing. 301 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:32,440 Auto Light is bringing you Jack Carson in the One Millionth Joe, tonight's production 302 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:43,080 in radio's outstanding theater thrills, Suspense. 303 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:47,040 Hey Harlow, did you ever notice that if one ball player goes into a slump, the whole team 304 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:48,040 seems to bog down? 305 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:49,560 Well, that's natural, Hap. 306 00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:54,060 Each man is a vital part of the team, just as spark plugs are a vital part of the team 307 00:13:54,060 --> 00:13:56,960 that makes up the ignition system of your car. 308 00:13:56,960 --> 00:14:01,840 And auto light spark plugs are ignition engineered by the same auto light engineers who design 309 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:06,920 complete ignition systems, used as original factory equipment on many makes of America's 310 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:07,920 finest cars. 311 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,080 They have team spirit, eh, Wilcock? 312 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:11,080 Right, Hap. 313 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:15,620 Auto light spark plugs are built to function as a perfect team with the coil distributor 314 00:14:15,620 --> 00:14:18,000 and all the other parts of the ignition system. 315 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:23,800 Why, ignition engineered auto light spark plugs are world famous for their quality and dependability. 316 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:27,360 On Excel for quick starting, smooth performance, and gas mileage. 317 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:28,580 Right you are, Hap. 318 00:14:28,580 --> 00:14:31,700 So stop in at your friendly auto light dealers tomorrow. 319 00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:36,520 They have worn out spark plugs replaced with ignition engineered auto light spark plugs. 320 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:40,760 Whether you choose the resistor type or the standard type, you're always right with auto 321 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:41,760 light. 322 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:47,280 And now auto light brings back to our Hollywood sound stage our star, Jack Carson, in the 323 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:48,280 one millionth Joe. 324 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:55,160 A tale well calculated to keep you in suspense. 325 00:14:55,160 --> 00:15:00,520 So I showed beer in the town that night, along with some reporters, and without the preculent 326 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:06,120 Mr. T. As I told Thompson, it was no skin off me if he bought his own dinner. 327 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:11,440 Anyway I was, I was real glad that beer and I could finish that evening alone. 328 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:15,200 It was a last night spot scheduled and therefore on the cut. 329 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:19,280 The place was jumping and the newsboys was having a high old time. 330 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,720 Carson, Carson another round of drinks here. 331 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,720 That's the way to talk, Auntie Boy. 332 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:24,720 How about champagne? 333 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,720 Yeah, you know what the bureau looks cheap, Auntie Boy. 334 00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:29,720 What about my dance with Miss Valerie? 335 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,560 Well I'm willing and waiting. 336 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,440 Now wait, wait up boys. 337 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:35,440 While you're still sober and able to listen. 338 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:36,440 Space, space, space. 339 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:40,000 I got an announcement to make. 340 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:44,560 You ought to all be at the airport tomorrow night for Transworld's part in this stunt. 341 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:45,560 The free pass. 342 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:46,560 Where to, Algy? 343 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:47,560 Who's going? 344 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:48,560 The free pass it is. 345 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:51,340 But I want you boys to have a little suspense. 346 00:15:51,340 --> 00:15:54,400 Just be at the airport from 10 p.m. on. 347 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:57,560 One or another of our two winners will be taking off for parts unknown. 348 00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:01,880 But who or where to, you gotta be there to see. 349 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:03,520 Hey Buster, you didn't tell me yet. 350 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:05,560 Well come on, let's you and me bunny hunt. 351 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,800 Now drink up you mugs and don't be bashful about asking for more of the same. 352 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:09,800 But Buster, you haven't told me. 353 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:10,800 Come on, Pira. 354 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:11,800 Oh Buster, tell me. 355 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:12,800 Now come on, darling. 356 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:13,800 Just snuggle up and dance. 357 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:14,800 Smooth. 358 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:26,800 I saw you and Thompson huddling at the Lion Farm. 359 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:29,520 Yeah, well he was telling me that he's camera shy. 360 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:30,920 Oh he is, isn't he? 361 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:33,640 But later in my room Thompson showed his teeth. 362 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,560 Said I should hand over that pass to Brazil or else. 363 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,160 Oh look, we gotta tip off the cops. 364 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,880 Oh sure honey, as soon as we got proof. 365 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:39,880 Proof? 366 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:40,880 Yeah. 367 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:43,720 This bony blows in from Houston clutching a briefcase to his breast nearly blows his 368 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:47,280 top when you pick him out of the crowd until you mention an airplane pass. 369 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:48,280 It's not enough. 370 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:49,280 Not enough. 371 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:52,600 Look, if I call in the cops and Thompson turns out to be only a gink with a screw loose, 372 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:53,600 I'm in trouble. 373 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:54,600 Capital T trouble. 374 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,920 You gotta see my side. 375 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:58,520 Then what are you doing to get more proof? 376 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:00,800 Ah, that's for you coming, beauty. 377 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:04,600 You think you could get Thompson to flash some of that dough if he has it? 378 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:05,600 Come again? 379 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,080 Well, figure out some way to make him show his money. 380 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:12,000 See if it comes out of the briefcase and if it's in big denomination bills. 381 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,120 Oh yeah, maybe. 382 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,440 Well, tackle him first thing in the morning. 383 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:18,040 First thing in the morning, I'll get the ticket. 384 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:21,240 Then the first chance we get, we compare notes. 385 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,340 And if what I find out adds up. 386 00:17:23,340 --> 00:17:25,720 Then you be packed and ready to leave tomorrow night. 387 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:26,720 To Brazil? 388 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:27,720 Maybe I want to go later. 389 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,720 And maybe I want to go to Honolulu. 390 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:30,720 Maybe. 391 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:34,760 After the spouting I just did to the reporters, somebody's gotta be in that plane or, bluey, 392 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:37,280 my stunt. 393 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:41,160 Which so far as this story goes, wound it up for that night. 394 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,800 A down girl. 395 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,240 Was she ever the deluxe type? 396 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:50,400 I freely admit, she rocked me. 397 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:54,960 Yeah, well, come morning I was up with the birds at thereabouts. 398 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:59,160 I checked and found out that Vera had last sued Mr. Thompson for breakfast. 399 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:00,800 So far so good. 400 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,400 So I hustled myself down to Transworld and got the ticket. 401 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,880 A long green strip of confetti. 402 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:07,760 Real and returned. 403 00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:10,720 Then the big day commenced and Thompson came along. 404 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,560 No doubt to keep an eye on me. 405 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:17,220 So me and Vera weren't able to huddle until some hours later on a sound stage out of colossus 406 00:18:17,220 --> 00:18:18,220 pictures. 407 00:18:18,220 --> 00:18:22,640 When they've got this shot lined up I'll introduce you folks to Vincent. 408 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:23,640 He's the director. 409 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,840 I'm producing this. 410 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:27,920 Mr. Thompson, did you say you were in rugs? 411 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:28,920 Yes, retired. 412 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:31,400 The rug we use in this set might interest you. 413 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,520 That's a good idea, Arthur. 414 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,240 Give the rug a once over, Mr. T. 415 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:36,240 This way, Mr. Thompson. 416 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,840 You see in a picture the producer... 417 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:40,080 Buster, I got him to show me his money. 418 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:41,080 Yeah? 419 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:42,080 Out of the briefcase? 420 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,080 Yeah. 421 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,080 He took the briefcase along to breakfast. 422 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,080 How'd you work it? 423 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,160 Well, I ordered everything I could see on the menu. 424 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,160 Yeah, yeah. 425 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:50,600 When we brought our check it was almost 16 bucks. 426 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:51,600 Oh, ho, ho. 427 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,280 Well, I fished around and my person said, how perfectly awful. 428 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:57,080 I've only got a dollar seventy-five to my name. 429 00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:59,800 You will have to pay the check, Mr. T., and let me pay you back. 430 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:00,800 Oh, ho, ho, ho. 431 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,920 Well, the waiter was standing off giving us a cold eye. 432 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:09,120 So Thompson unzips his briefcase a couple of inches and fishes out a five hundred dollar 433 00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:10,120 bill. 434 00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:11,120 Five six? 435 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:12,120 I could have died. 436 00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:15,920 I stared till I was bug-eyed trying to read the serial number. 437 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,360 Buster, you're gonna be proud of me. 438 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:20,360 The number was C1240653. 439 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:21,360 What? 440 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:24,040 You remembered the whole number? 441 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:25,040 Yeah. 442 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,040 I got a mind for numbers. 443 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,840 Never forget a phone number or an address. 444 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,200 What are you looking at? 445 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,000 This is the list of serial numbers. 446 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,000 Say that number again, doll. 447 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,000 C1240653. 448 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,000 That's it. 449 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,720 One of the bills from the Pikesville holdup. 450 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,560 But if the hotel got it they may check. 451 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:43,560 No, they don't have it. 452 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:47,360 All of a sudden Thompson grabbed the bill back and said we don't have to pay for breakfast. 453 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:48,360 That's part of the prize. 454 00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:49,360 We're rolling. 455 00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:50,360 Quiet. 456 00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:51,360 Quiet, please. 457 00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:54,000 So Mr. T thinks he can play her up with me, eh? 458 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,000 One hundred grand. 459 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,480 So now will you call the cops? 460 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:57,880 Not so fast, honey. 461 00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:58,880 You said you'd let me handle this. 462 00:19:58,880 --> 00:19:59,880 Quiet. 463 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:00,880 We're rolling. 464 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:05,440 Elsie, shut up before I have you thrown out. 465 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:10,600 Which is how they sometimes treat us flacks in Hollywood and us the backbone of the industry. 466 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,080 Yeah, well, that's pictures. 467 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:16,840 But I let it ride this time since it got me out of a tight squeeze with Vera. 468 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,560 You see, this is how I had it figured. 469 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:21,720 I'd put it up to Thompson what I knew. 470 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:25,480 Then if he didn't cut me in for a healthy slice of a hundred G's, there was always the 471 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:29,240 cops from whom there was undoubtedly a big reward. 472 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:33,440 That way I could play for the big money and still hedge my bet. 473 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,000 But I put it this way to Vera. 474 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,840 I said, look, look, cream girl, you'll be ready to leave. 475 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:39,840 That's all. 476 00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,240 Oh, what time does the plane take off, did you say? 477 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,240 1140. 478 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:46,000 We ought to leave here by 11. 479 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,720 And what happens to Thompson, Buster? 480 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:52,120 Well, I'll get everything set for a quiet pinch just after we leave. 481 00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:56,000 It'll louse up the stunt doll if it gets out that the Bureau picked a hood for this world. 482 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,640 I got to protect my client, you understand? 483 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,640 Oh, sure, Buster. 484 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:05,920 I understand. 485 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:10,240 So Vera was set up to take Mr. Thompson's place if it was no deal with him. 486 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:16,360 If it was a deal, then Thompson would fly off to Brazil, leaving me unexpectedly wealthy. 487 00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:22,520 I was sure Vera was a sensible type doll, not adverse to knowing a Joe who was in the 488 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:23,520 chips. 489 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:27,640 Well, along about 930, I went knocking at Thompson's door. 490 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,640 Come in. 491 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:33,200 Well, sir, another day of California sunshine. 492 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,200 Oh, you got it. 493 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:37,920 You, uh, you said we'd have another talk. 494 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:38,920 Talk's cheap. 495 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:40,360 All right, I'll level with you. 496 00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:42,280 I know your name isn't Thompson. 497 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:44,420 I know why you didn't like being picked for this stunt. 498 00:21:44,420 --> 00:21:48,520 I know what's in that briefcase, and I know why you want to fly the coupe. 499 00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:49,760 Huh? 500 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:51,880 You spoke yesterday about a deal. 501 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:52,880 Yeah. 502 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:53,880 How much? 503 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:54,880 Fifty. 504 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:55,880 Fifty dollars? 505 00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:56,880 Don't play footsie with me, Thompson. 506 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:57,880 Fifty grand. 507 00:21:57,880 --> 00:21:58,880 Fifty thousand dollars. 508 00:21:58,880 --> 00:21:59,880 Fifty thousand dollars? 509 00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:02,360 With hot money like that, I'll have to trade off at a discount. 510 00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:06,080 But you'll be in Brazil getting your money's worth dollar for dollar. 511 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,480 Just take your briefcase, Mr. T, and unzip. 512 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,360 Just what do you think I have in this briefcase? 513 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:11,360 I don't think. 514 00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:12,360 I know. 515 00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:13,920 Look, I'll tell you who I am and why. 516 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:14,920 All about it. 517 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:15,920 Time's a-wasting, Mr. Thompson. 518 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:17,200 In ten minutes, I'll call the cops. 519 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:18,200 My name's Kirkwood. 520 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,560 I came on the Chicago plane, not the one from Houston. 521 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:22,400 Ah, Vera was on the Chicago plane. 522 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:23,400 She never saw you. 523 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,840 I came to Los Angeles to kill myself, Mr. Zant. 524 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:29,120 To kill myself in such a way that I could never be identified. 525 00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:30,120 I'm going blind. 526 00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:32,480 I'll be totally blind six months from now. 527 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:33,760 Oh, come now. 528 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:34,760 Really. 529 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:35,760 What are you giving me, Thompson? 530 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:36,760 Five years. 531 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,560 Five years I went to ice specialists, New York, Philadelphia, Canada, spent every cent 532 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,040 I had trying to find a cure. 533 00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:43,480 Look, I got no time to brandish words with you. 534 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,800 Then I heard of this one doctor, a Viennese refugee, lives in Rio. 535 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:49,480 He's cured cases like mine, but my money was gone. 536 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:50,840 Look, I'm gonna fall. 537 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:52,960 Oh, why don't you believe me? 538 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:54,920 I have a daughter, Mr. Zant. 539 00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:56,760 All I can leave her is my insurance. 540 00:22:56,760 --> 00:23:03,080 I thought if I disappeared, if it could never be proved, I killed myself. 541 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,800 That's why I didn't want to be recognized. 542 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:08,960 That's why I grabbed for this wonderful chance this free trip to Brazil. 543 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,360 And the briefcase, Mr. T, what's in the briefcase? 544 00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:12,360 Dynamite. 545 00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:13,360 What? 546 00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:14,360 Dynamite? 547 00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:15,360 I bet it's dynamite. 548 00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:16,360 You're some joker, Thompson. 549 00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:18,400 Were you gonna kill yourself with dynamite? 550 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:21,560 So I couldn't be identified, yes. 551 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,720 Let me see the dynamite, Mr. T, the crisp green dynamite. 552 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:26,320 Don't touch that briefcase, Zant. 553 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:27,320 Buster. 554 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:30,160 Hey, Buster, I've been turning the place inside out to find you. 555 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,560 Vera, leave us be. 556 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:34,440 But I just remembered it's daylight saving time here on the coast. 557 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,440 My plane leaves an hour earlier. 558 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:44,600 Buster, watch out! 559 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:48,760 When I came to, there was Roman candles going off in my head and Vera was tied to a chair 560 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,200 with a towel stuffed in her mouth. 561 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,840 The airplane think it was going out of my wallet, of course, but I saw by my watch there 562 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:55,840 was still time. 563 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:59,640 Ten minutes later, we was in my car, Vera and halfway to the airport. 564 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:03,360 I took a shortcut up through the hills and kept the gas pedal flat on the floor. 565 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:05,600 It was a while before Vera said anything. 566 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:09,240 Buster, this will really blow up your stunt if you have Thompson pinched at the airport. 567 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,080 No two-bit hood's gonna push me around. 568 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:14,880 Well, let's see if we can figure some way to get me on the plane quiet. 569 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,800 Then after I've left, I'll... 570 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:18,800 You nailed Thompson. 571 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:19,800 Forget it. 572 00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:20,800 Forget the stunt, doll. 573 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:21,800 Now I'm out for blood. 574 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:22,800 What time does that plane leave? 575 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:23,800 I forgot. 576 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:25,520 1140 daylight saving, 1040 standard. 577 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:26,520 That Thompson. 578 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:29,960 He claimed he came in on the other plane, not the one from Houston. 579 00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:30,960 No kidding. 580 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:32,040 I said right off. 581 00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:34,480 You wouldn't know if he was on the same plane as you. 582 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:35,480 That's right, Buster. 583 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,200 And then when I ask about the briefcase, he says it's dynamite. 584 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:41,120 After you saw that $500 bill with a serial number. 585 00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:42,120 That's right, Buster. 586 00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:44,800 Thompson didn't know the combination he was up against. 587 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:46,640 Me and a sharp doll like you. 588 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:47,960 That's right, Buster. 589 00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:49,900 You spotting that headline right off. 590 00:24:49,900 --> 00:24:52,760 And remembering that serial number 100%, that's... 591 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:56,800 Yeah, it's funny, though. 592 00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:57,800 What's funny? 593 00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:01,640 Well, that you couldn't remember your room number or the time the plane leaves. 594 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:04,280 If you got the memory you say you have... 595 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:05,280 That's right, Buster. 596 00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:08,280 Hey, it's you. 597 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:09,280 It isn't Thompson. 598 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,120 You're the Texas hoodlum. 599 00:25:11,120 --> 00:25:12,840 This gun's loaded, Buster. 600 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:14,560 Turn off at the next side road. 601 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,340 You came on the Houston plane. 602 00:25:16,340 --> 00:25:17,600 You played me for a sucker. 603 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,360 I played you for what you are. 604 00:25:19,360 --> 00:25:20,360 Step on it. 605 00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:22,560 Every last lead I got on Thompson, I got from you. 606 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,640 If I ever trust another doll... 607 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:26,840 You won't live to worry about it, Buster. 608 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:27,840 Turn. 609 00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:28,840 Turn right here. 610 00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:36,840 Well, I'm kind of ticklish, so with Vera's gun nudging my ribs, I turn. 611 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:38,880 It's an old car, pre-war. 612 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,160 It sounded like it was splitting at the seams. 613 00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:44,640 She jabbed my ribs again and I pushed the gas down and gave her everything she'd taken 614 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:45,640 and... 615 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:48,160 End of the road doll, it's the cops. 616 00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:52,920 I don't see any cops. 617 00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:54,640 But you see, I got the gun doll. 618 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,480 You see that, don't you? 619 00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:57,760 Old Josephine here. 620 00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:58,880 She has a lovely habit. 621 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,400 You give her too much gas, she resents it. 622 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:02,400 She backfires. 623 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:03,880 Bang, bang, bang. 624 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:07,200 Which is tough on a doll's nerves if she's as jumpy as you are. 625 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:08,920 Buster, look. 626 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:10,720 You couldn't make a deal, could you? 627 00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:12,200 Say, 50 grand? 628 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:19,320 Say, that wouldn't be ethical. 629 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:23,040 Which was the truth, but not quite the whole truth. 630 00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:27,400 It was worth kissing 50 grand goodbye to turn Vera in after she conned me the way I did 631 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:34,800 because one thing I can't stand, being taken over the hurdles by a doll. 632 00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,200 So that wound up the stunt. 633 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:38,200 Thompson? 634 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,760 Oh, he took off, okay. 635 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,640 And the doctor in Rio handled his case. 636 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:46,800 His eyes are 100% now without cheaters. 637 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:48,120 Me? 638 00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:52,000 Well, this Fourth of July, I have nothing on the docket. 639 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:55,200 But have I dreamed up one whale of a stunt for Thanksgiving? 640 00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:57,440 Now, see what you think. 641 00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:02,280 The moviegoer who arrives at Grauman's Chinese exactly at midnight gets a free mandarin's 642 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:16,960 uniform, all the chopped soy he can eat. 643 00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:20,200 Suspense presented by Auto Light. 644 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:23,080 Tonight's star, Mr. Jack Carson. 645 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:25,880 Say Wilcox, have you made the Auto Light team? 646 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,640 Well, you might say I'm a pitcher, Hap. 647 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:33,280 I make the pitch for more than 400 products made by Auto Light for cars, trucks, planes, 648 00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:36,480 and boats in 28 plants coast to coast. 649 00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:40,440 These include complete electrical systems used as original equipment on many makes of 650 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,480 America's finest cars. 651 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:48,120 Generators, coils, distributors, voltage regulators, wire and cables, starting motors, electric 652 00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:53,600 windshield wipers, all engineered to fit together perfectly, work together perfectly because 653 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:56,000 they're a perfect team. 654 00:27:56,000 --> 00:28:00,520 So friends, if your Auto Light equipped car needs replacement parts, ask for and insist 655 00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:05,200 on Auto Light original factory parts at your neighborhood service station, car dealer, 656 00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:07,000 garage, or repair shop. 657 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:19,320 Remember, you're always right with Auto Light. 658 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:22,980 Next Thursday for Suspense, our stars will be Kathy and Elliot Lewis. 659 00:28:22,980 --> 00:28:26,300 The play is called Love, Honor, and Murder. 660 00:28:26,300 --> 00:28:45,160 It is, as we say, a tale well calculated to keep you in suspense. 661 00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:50,680 Tonight's Suspense play was produced and edited by William Spear and directed by Norman McDonald. 662 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:55,960 Music for Suspense is composed by Rene Garagank and Lucian Morrowek and conducted by Lud Bluskin. 663 00:28:55,960 --> 00:29:00,800 The One Millionth Joe is an original play written for radio by Sylvia Richards. 664 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:04,720 Jack Carson may currently be seen in the Columbia picture, The Good Humor Man. 665 00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:09,120 Don't forget, next Thursday, same time, Auto Light will present Suspense, starring Kathy 666 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:16,320 and Elliot Lewis. 667 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:20,520 You can buy world famous Auto Light resistor or standard spark plugs, Auto Light staple 668 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:24,520 batteries, Auto Light electrical parts at your neighborhood Auto Light dealers. 669 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:26,240 Switch to Auto Light. 670 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:27,240 Good night. 671 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:31,920 The American economic system has brought greater material benefits to more people than any 672 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,960 other system the world has ever known. 673 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:38,820 Because we have been able to produce more per man and per machine, we have been able 674 00:29:38,820 --> 00:29:42,160 to live better and enjoy our individual freedom. 675 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:45,400 Learn more about your part in the American way of life. 676 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:50,460 Write to Suspense, Box 10, Times Square Station, New York City, for the free booklet, The Miracle 677 00:29:50,460 --> 00:29:51,460 of America. 678 00:29:51,460 --> 00:30:05,040 This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.