1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:18,880 Suspense. 2 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:25,360 Auto Light and its 96,000 dealers present Mr. Eddie Cantor in Double Entry, a suspense 3 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:36,080 play produced and edited by William Spear. 4 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:38,960 Well, a weeping reindeer. 5 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:39,960 What's wrong? 6 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,600 I just lost my job. 7 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,520 Oh, that's terrible and so near Christmas. 8 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:45,840 By the way, what's your name? 9 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:46,840 Donna. 10 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:50,280 Well, tell me, Donna, how do Blitz and Dancer and Prancer feel about this? 11 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:51,280 Oh, just awful. 12 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:53,080 They've been fired too. 13 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:58,840 You see, when Santa Claus, he is, or rather was our boss, first heard about your Auto 14 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:04,000 Light stay full batteries, he decided to give up the sleigh and make his deliveries by car. 15 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,720 Oh, Santa fell in love with those stay full features, eh? 16 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:08,880 I guess so, but I don't know why. 17 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:09,880 Oh, that's easy. 18 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:13,840 You see, his Auto Light stay full battery needs water only three times a year in normal 19 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,120 sleigh car use. 20 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:21,760 And then too it gives him, pardon the expression, reindeer fast starts, even in the North Pole. 21 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:25,880 Now what's more with those fiberglass retaining mats protecting every positive plate, Auto 22 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:31,040 Light stay full batteries deliver 70% longer average life than batteries without stay full 23 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:32,040 features. 24 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:35,600 That's shown by recent tests based on SAE life cycle standards. 25 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,000 Well, that doesn't make me any happier. 26 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,160 Oh, come on, dear, cheer up. 27 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:41,720 Tis the season to be jolly. 28 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:45,760 Remember, you're always bright with Auto Light. 29 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:53,160 Mr. Cantor appears as Eddie with Sydney Miller as Sam, his bosom friend in Double Entry, 30 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:58,560 an unusual story of clerical crime at Christmas time. 31 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:12,280 Altogether a most remarkable tale of suspense. 32 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:15,840 It always balances in the double entry system. 33 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:18,240 If it don't, you hang around until it does. 34 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,840 Yeah, even Christmas week. 35 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:24,320 That's what I've been doing all my life, keeping books. 36 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:29,120 It's fascinating, positively fascinating. 37 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:31,920 Look at them figures, beautiful, ain't they? 38 00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:33,240 Calligraphy, they call it. 39 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:36,080 That's Greek for beautiful handwriting, you know. 40 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:39,120 I bet in my day I've written billions of figures. 41 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:40,780 Oh, hundreds of billions. 42 00:02:40,780 --> 00:02:42,720 And cash? 43 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:46,280 Say I've handled so much cash, my fingers are calloused. 44 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:51,200 Why once I even got water on the thumb from licking it to count money. 45 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:52,200 But so what? 46 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,200 What's cash? 47 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:59,920 You go along every day counting it, piling it up, never thinking who owns it, never even 48 00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:02,760 think about what it will buy. 49 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:07,720 Handling cash is just the same as adding figures. 50 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:11,080 A job. 51 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:17,000 Then one day something happens that makes you look on things different. 52 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:22,680 There's no excitement in an office, no danger, no heroism, no adventure, not much chance 53 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,780 to risk anything to do something for a pal. 54 00:03:25,780 --> 00:03:31,440 So if a guy gets a chance to do a favor, to help out a pal who's in a jam, well, maybe 55 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:35,280 you look on cash a little different. 56 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:39,560 All of a sudden cash is more than pieces of metal and bits of green paper. 57 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:45,800 And if it's Christmas week, if it's Christmas Eve, and your pal is true blue, it's even 58 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:46,800 more important. 59 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:51,360 Eddie, Eddie, hand me that dixie cup, will you? 60 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:53,320 Your ulcers bothering you again, Sam? 61 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,400 Yeah, they're bad. 62 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,240 These ledgers are driving me nuts. 63 00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:00,240 You got the wrong temperament for an accountant, Sam. 64 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,540 You shouldn't let it get you down. 65 00:04:03,540 --> 00:04:05,240 Things can't go on like this, Eddie. 66 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:06,800 What's the matter, Alice? 67 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:07,800 Don't Alice understand you? 68 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:08,800 No, no, no. 69 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:09,800 That's not what I mean, Eddie. 70 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:11,680 What do you mean, Sam? 71 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:12,680 You wouldn't understand it. 72 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,160 Oh, you always say that, Sam. 73 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:15,840 I'm an understanding guy. 74 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:16,840 That's what Mabel says. 75 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:17,840 Mabel says. 76 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,080 You understand Mabel. 77 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:20,400 Does she understand you? 78 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:21,400 Certainly, perfectly. 79 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,280 A man's wife has to understand him. 80 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:24,640 If she don't, what good is she? 81 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,420 Oh, it's a nice way to look at it. 82 00:04:26,420 --> 00:04:28,020 If your wife understands you. 83 00:04:28,020 --> 00:04:29,280 Don't Alice understand you? 84 00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:31,480 No, Alice don't understand me. 85 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:32,720 That's because you don't understand her. 86 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:33,720 Will you shut up? 87 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:37,320 Sometimes you're so smug. 88 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:38,360 Oh, lay off, Sam. 89 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:39,880 You can't go on like this. 90 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:40,880 Like what? 91 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,480 Grouchy all the time. 92 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,440 You got something on your mind that Alice don't understand? 93 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:46,560 Try me out. 94 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,600 I won't throw no dishes at you. 95 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:50,080 I can't tell you, Ed. 96 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:51,400 It wouldn't matter anyway. 97 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:52,400 You can't do nothing. 98 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,760 Well, just telling your troubles helps sometimes. 99 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:56,760 Talk, Sam. 100 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:58,920 Talk, Sam. 101 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,840 This is Eddie, your friend. 102 00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:02,840 Okay. 103 00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:03,840 It's the auditors. 104 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:04,840 Oh, them guys? 105 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:05,840 Yeah. 106 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:06,840 Don't let them worry you. 107 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:07,840 You had bookkeeping here, ain't you? 108 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:08,840 You tell them. 109 00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:09,840 Don't let them tell you. 110 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:10,840 I'm telling you, Eddie. 111 00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:11,840 They're getting awful close. 112 00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:12,840 What are you talking about? 113 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:13,840 They're driving me nuts. 114 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:14,840 Why, Sam? 115 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:15,840 Eddie, I'm light. 116 00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:16,840 You mean? 117 00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:17,840 The books. 118 00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:18,840 They're light. 119 00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:19,840 They're short. 120 00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:20,840 You mean that... 121 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:21,840 I'm a crook, Eddie. 122 00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:22,840 Yeah, and a bezel. 123 00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:23,840 And they're gonna get me. 124 00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:24,840 Those auditors, they're on to me. 125 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:25,840 I know they are. 126 00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:26,840 I can feel them getting closer. 127 00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:27,840 I can feel them getting closer. 128 00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:28,840 I can feel them getting closer. 129 00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:29,840 I can feel them getting closer. 130 00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:30,840 I can feel them getting closer. 131 00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:33,840 I can feel them getting closer. 132 00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:36,840 Now, after nine years, they're on the trail. 133 00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:38,840 You were a crook, Sam. 134 00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:39,840 I don't believe it. 135 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:40,840 Oh, I wish I were dreaming. 136 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,840 Why, Sam, you're the fair-haired boy around here. 137 00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:45,840 All you had to do was ask... 138 00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:46,840 Ask who? 139 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:47,840 Bartholomew, that tight-fisted... 140 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:48,840 It's Alice. 141 00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:49,840 She used to blame I know. 142 00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:51,840 She wasn't satisfied with your salary. 143 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:54,840 She wanted an ermine, capes, diamonds, a box at the opera. 144 00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:56,840 I know she drove you to it, Sam. 145 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:57,840 Don't blame her, Eddie. 146 00:05:57,840 --> 00:05:59,840 This one, we can't blame on Alice. 147 00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:01,840 She doesn't even know anything about this caper. 148 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:04,840 Well, if she didn't drive you to it, why'd you do it? 149 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:06,840 All those kids on the block. 150 00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:08,840 They wanted to go to camp. 151 00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:10,840 Yeah, that's how it started, Eddie. 152 00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:13,840 With unknown benefactor. 153 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:14,840 What? 154 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:15,840 You don't make sense, Sam. 155 00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:18,840 It was just a hundred bucks or so at first. 156 00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:20,840 I figured to put it right back. 157 00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:22,840 Then the papers come out with... 158 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:26,840 Unknown benefactor sends 20 kids to summer camp. 159 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:28,840 Oh, that got me. 160 00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:30,840 That unknown benefactor. 161 00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:32,840 So that was you, huh? 162 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:33,840 Yeah, yeah. 163 00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:36,840 And pretty soon I was taking out a hundred bucks here, 164 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:37,840 a hundred bucks there, 165 00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:40,840 sending it off to all sorts of people and outfits. 166 00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:44,840 I sent though to help the Institute for Aged Cats. 167 00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:45,840 Oh. 168 00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:47,840 Yeah, then I was an unknown contributor 169 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,840 to Help Save Vaudeville movement. 170 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:50,840 And kids. 171 00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:52,840 I was always helping kids. 172 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:54,840 A regular Scrooge. 173 00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:56,840 No, no, no, Santa Claus, Sam. 174 00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:57,840 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 175 00:06:57,840 --> 00:06:59,840 And it made me feel great. 176 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:02,840 Of course, I'd cover up on the books here with a fake entry, 177 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:05,840 hoping I'd hit on the market and be able to put it all back, you know. 178 00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:08,840 Yeah, but you were always unable to make a recoup. 179 00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:10,840 Kept getting in deeper. 180 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,840 Sam Crockett, an embezzler. 181 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:14,840 And for nine years... 182 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:15,840 Don't say it, Eddie. 183 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:16,840 Nine years. 184 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,840 How much did you take in all that time? 185 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,840 A hundred thousand dollars and 11 cents. 186 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:24,840 Where am I gonna get that kind of money? 187 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:26,840 I could dig up the 11 cents. 188 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,840 Oh, wisecracks. 189 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:29,840 That's all you're good for. 190 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,840 Jail staring me in the face. 191 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:32,840 What do you want me to say? 192 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:33,840 What do you generally say? 193 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:36,840 What do you generally say to your friend when he tells you he's a crook? 194 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:37,840 I told you because... 195 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,840 Well, because it feels good to get it off my chest. 196 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:42,840 Nine years of hell. 197 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:44,840 That's why you've been so nervous. 198 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,840 That's where my ulcers come from. 199 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,840 Every night working late, covering up. 200 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:50,840 Sweating, worrying. 201 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:52,840 Thinking of the ultimate end. 202 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,840 The walls closing in on me, Eddie. 203 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:55,840 And now... 204 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,840 Oh, oh, oh. 205 00:07:57,840 --> 00:07:58,840 Hello? 206 00:07:58,840 --> 00:07:59,840 Hello, yes? 207 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,840 Yes, Mr. Ptolemieu. 208 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:02,840 Send Crockett in? 209 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:03,840 Okay. 210 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,840 My master's voice. 211 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:07,840 Ptolemieu wants to see you. 212 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:08,840 Wag your tail, Fido. 213 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:10,840 Wag it? I can't even drag it. 214 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:14,840 Say, Eddie, didn't I see the auditors go in there a minute ago? 215 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:16,840 Yeah. 216 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,840 Yeah, come to think they did, Sam. 217 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:21,840 This is it, kid. 218 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:22,840 Merry Christmas. 219 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:23,840 Maybe it's not, Sam. 220 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:24,840 I got a feeling. 221 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:26,840 I'm not scared, Eddie. 222 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,840 No, no, it's a relief. 223 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:30,840 Now I'll sleep nights. 224 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,840 Maybe my ulcer will clear up. 225 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:34,840 What about those kids? 226 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:40,840 Those kids are gonna take it hard when they read about their unknown benefactor doing time. 227 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:42,840 A hundred grand. 228 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:44,840 Holy... 229 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,840 Wonder what he did with the 11 cents. 230 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,840 Sales tax, I suppose. 231 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:50,840 What a chump. 232 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:52,840 Your name, Eddie? 233 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:53,840 Yeah, what about it? 234 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:54,840 What about it? 235 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:56,840 I think freeze. 236 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,840 Mr. Flint said to drop in and see if you want to place a bet today. 237 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:00,840 Flint who? 238 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:01,840 What do you mean, Flint who? 239 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:02,840 Mike Flint. 240 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,840 Ain't your name, Eddie? 241 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,840 Sure, but I never heard of Mike Flint. 242 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:07,840 You got the wrong Eddie. 243 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:08,840 My name's Sullivan. 244 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,840 Oh, he didn't tell me the last name. 245 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:11,840 Oh, I don't know. 246 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:13,840 He says look up Eddie in 411 Perry Trust building. 247 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:15,840 This is 511. 248 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,840 Oh, for Pete's sake. 249 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:18,840 Wait a minute. 250 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:19,840 Huh? 251 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:20,840 Wait. 252 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:22,840 You say you take bets on horses? 253 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:25,840 I'll take a bet on a camel if he's running a tropical park. 254 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:26,840 Are you a bookie? 255 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:28,840 Well, I ain't no taxidermist pal. 256 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:31,840 Say, I may be the right Eddie after all. 257 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:33,840 Got any odds? 258 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,840 Well, if you're on the level, Eddie... 259 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:37,840 You're in the business. 260 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,840 Do I look like a stool pigeon? 261 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:40,840 Okay, Eddie. 262 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,840 I guess you're okay. 263 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:44,840 Odds, huh? 264 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:45,840 You want odds? 265 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:46,840 Well, let's see. 266 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:49,840 A tropical park, I can give you 10 to 1 in the first race. 267 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:50,840 Aleppo. 268 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,840 Finish last in the field of 9 is only other start. 269 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:54,840 Let's see the form. 270 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,840 You see, odds is okay if you don't bet too heavy. 271 00:09:57,840 --> 00:09:59,840 Play odds like a side bet, Eddie. 272 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,840 The thing to play is the jockey, not the horse. 273 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,840 Now you take Sylvester. 274 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:06,840 Won three yesterday, two on Monday, one on Sunday. 275 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:07,840 Oh, he's hot, very hot. 276 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,840 He can ride any dog into the money. 277 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,840 Does he ride a long shot today? 278 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:15,840 No, he's got two favorites and four short odds nags. 279 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:17,840 He'll win, say, two races today. 280 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:18,840 Maybe three. 281 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:19,840 One for Santa Claus. 282 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:21,840 Say, here's a 50 to one shot. 283 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:22,840 Altruism. 284 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:23,840 Altruism? 285 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:24,840 I never heard of him. 286 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:25,840 I got a hunch. 287 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:26,840 Well, play it, play it. 288 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:28,840 Always play hunches. 289 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:30,840 Let's see who this altruism is. 290 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,840 Mm-hmm, never raced before. 291 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:34,840 Then how do you know he's no good? 292 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:36,840 Well, I don't, but look who he's running against. 293 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:39,840 War alarm, unbeaten in three starts. 294 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:43,840 Test tube, last year's gold cup runner-up, and file clerk. 295 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:45,840 Oh, say, there's a hunch for you, Eddie. 296 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,840 I ain't no file clerk, and I'm playing altruism 297 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:49,840 if you don't mind. 298 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,840 Okay, Eddie, okay. 299 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:53,840 Just give me your two bucks. 300 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:54,840 Is that all I can bet? 301 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,840 Oh, no, Eddie, but gee, I don't want to play you for a sucker. 302 00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,840 How about two grand? 303 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:01,840 Oh, why don't you tie that bull to a fence? 304 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,840 Will you take two grand on altruism? 305 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,840 Under level, Eddie? 306 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:07,840 Sure is tonight's Christmas Eve. 307 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:09,840 Where would you get that kind of dough? 308 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:10,840 Borrow it from the boss. 309 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:12,840 Well, I'll have to get Flint's okay. 310 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:13,840 Let me use your phone, huh? 311 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:14,840 Go ahead. 312 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:15,840 Two grand. 313 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:16,840 Oh, that's not stage money, Eddie. 314 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:18,840 Neither is 100 grand. Could you pay off? 315 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:21,840 Well, sure, Flint will cover any bet I make. 316 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:23,840 Hello, give me Flint. 317 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:25,840 See, this Flint is a very smart cookie. 318 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:26,840 Maybe he don't want it. 319 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:27,840 Oh, hello, Mike. 320 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:28,840 This is Fink. 321 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,840 Look, there's a man's got 2,000 bucks he wants to put on an egg 322 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,840 called altruism and a third a tropical. 323 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:36,840 The odds are 50 to 1. How about it? 324 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:37,840 Uh-huh. 325 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,840 Yeah, but if he wins, Mike. 326 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,840 Well, sure, I'm a gambler, but 50 to 1. 327 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,840 Hey. 328 00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:46,840 The guy hung up. 329 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,840 Funny guy this Flint. Am I a gambler, he says. 330 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:53,840 Well, okay, Eddie, we'll play two grand on altruism's nose for you, okay? 331 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:58,840 Well, all right, but it's a lot of dough to hand over to someone I never saw before. 332 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:00,840 Well, I never saw you before either, mister. 333 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:01,840 Yeah, but what chance are you taking? 334 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,840 Look, quit stalling, Eddie. Are you betting or not? 335 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:16,840 Okay, wait till I get the money. 336 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:17,840 Here it is. 337 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:24,840 1,000, 1,100, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10. 338 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,840 Makes $2,000. 339 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:27,840 Thanks, Eddie. 340 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,840 What you shaking for? 341 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:31,840 Is this your life savings or something? 342 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,840 No, no, no, there's lots more where this came from. 343 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,840 Oh, of course, of course, you're independently wealthy. 344 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:41,840 Yeah, that's it, Fink. You're a card. 345 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:45,840 Oh, card. Oh, gee, I almost forgot. Here's my card and here's your ticket. 346 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:49,840 Now hang on to it. Might be worth 100 grand. 347 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,840 Okay, Fink, I... 348 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,840 Hey, you all right? You look kind of green. 349 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:58,840 You've just been looking at too much dough, Fink. 350 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:01,840 Well, maybe. Now, you drop around this afternoon about three. 351 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:03,840 The address is on the card. Your dog is running in. 352 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:06,840 Goodbye, altruism. 353 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:07,840 So long, Fink. 354 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:11,840 So long, Eddie. 355 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:12,840 Hello? 356 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:14,840 Sullivan, this is Mr. Bartholomew. 357 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:15,840 Yes, sir. 358 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:16,840 Speak up. 359 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:16,840 Yes, sir. 360 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:17,840 That's better, Sullivan. 361 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:21,840 Sullivan, I want you to send a nice new $100 bill to the Second Street Mission. 362 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,840 Put it in a plain envelope and don't write anything with it. 363 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:29,840 Oh, wrap it in a piece of paper so no one will know what it is that the post office... 364 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:32,840 I want to send a nice little anonymous gift as a surprise. 365 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,840 A nice crisp $100 bill. 366 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:37,840 Yes, sir, Mr. Bartholomew. 367 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:39,840 Second Street Mission. 368 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:42,840 I may send them a little something myself later. 369 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,840 Yeah. 370 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,840 Eddie. 371 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:47,840 Eddie, it's okay. I got by. 372 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:48,840 What? 373 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,840 I'm clear. That auditor missed it. 374 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:53,840 What's the matter? Aren't you glad? 375 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:54,840 You mean you ain't going to jail? 376 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:55,840 Oh, not this year. 377 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:56,840 Are you sure, Sam? 378 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:58,840 Positive, Eddie. The auditors are through. 379 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,840 Not a chance of getting caught. 380 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:01,840 Not a chance, Sam? 381 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:03,840 Not a chance, Eddie. 382 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:04,840 There could be a slip-up. 383 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:06,840 No, no, no. There couldn't. 384 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,840 What's the matter with you? Aren't you glad for me? 385 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,840 Sure. Look, already I'm doing handsprings. 386 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:14,840 Oh, boy, oh, boy. Of course, it doesn't solve things completely. 387 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:15,840 You said it. 388 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:17,840 I'm still short, but that's okay. 389 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:18,840 Oh, sure? 390 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:20,840 I'll think of something. I got a whole year. 391 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,840 No more unknown benefactors, though. 392 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:23,840 I'm very glad. 393 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:25,840 Eddie, I don't quite get it, though. 394 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:27,840 Bartholomew buttering me up. 395 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,840 He says, we know everything is in good shape, Sam. 396 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:33,840 No use putting these auditors to any more trouble. 397 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:36,840 Just have them check the cash on hand, and that'll wind it up. 398 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:37,840 The cash? 399 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:38,840 Yeah. 400 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:42,840 Sam, hand me that Dixie cup by the typewriter. 401 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:43,840 Sure. You dry? 402 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:44,840 Very. 403 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,840 How are you going to get the hundred grand back in the books? 404 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:48,840 Oh, I don't know. Why? 405 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:50,840 Maybe I can raise some dough. 406 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,840 You couldn't raise a Venetian blind. 407 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:54,840 What are you worrying for? I'm out of a jam. 408 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:55,840 And I'm in. 409 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:58,840 What are you... What's on your mind? 410 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:00,840 Just two or three years, that's all. 411 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:03,840 Now I suppose you're going to tell me you've been swiping postage stamps. 412 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:06,840 No, no, no, nothing as bad as that. Look, I'm your pal, Sam. 413 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:07,840 Sure. 414 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:08,840 I'd do anything for you. 415 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:09,840 Then talk sense. 416 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:13,840 I hated to think of you and Singsing for six months, Sam, so... 417 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:16,840 I'm going there myself for a few years. 418 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:17,840 What do you say? 419 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:21,840 I took 2,000 bucks and bidded on a 50 to one shot of Tropical Park, Sam. 420 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:22,840 No. 421 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:23,840 Yes. 422 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:23,840 No. 423 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:24,840 Yes, I did it. Yes. 424 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:25,840 Oh, no. 425 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:25,840 Oh, yes. 426 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:26,840 Tell me you're kidding me, Eddie. 427 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:27,840 I did it for you, Sam, for Christmas. 428 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:28,840 What? 429 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,840 A guy don't get a chance to prove his friendship very often. 430 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,840 Friendship? You talk of friendship at a time like this? 431 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,840 We're both as good as in Singsing right now. 432 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:37,840 And me the longest. 433 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:38,840 I hope so. 434 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:42,840 Of all the dumb tricks, and you didn't make any entries, huh? 435 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,840 No, no, just took it, just... 436 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:47,840 Eddie, Eddie, how'd you come to bid on a horse? 437 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:49,840 You never made a bet. 438 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:50,840 What bookies do you know? 439 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:51,840 Here, here's his card. 440 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,840 He just happened in by accident. 441 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:56,840 A truck should just happen by accident to run over you. 442 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:58,840 Maybe he'd give it back, Sam. 443 00:15:58,840 --> 00:15:59,840 Oh, sure, sure. 444 00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:00,840 Bookies are that way. 445 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:02,840 Philanthropists. All of them. 446 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,840 Besides, there's probably no such address as this. 447 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:06,840 Oh, don't be hard on me, Sam. 448 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,840 After all, I risked my own neck to save yours. 449 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:09,840 No greater love. 450 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:10,840 And maybe this horse will win. 451 00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:11,840 A 50 to one? 452 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:12,840 Well? 453 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,840 Let me see that card. 454 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:15,840 Let... 455 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:18,840 All we can do is try and get the dough back. 456 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:19,840 He was awful nice, Sam. 457 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,840 Oh, shut up. Nice. 458 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:22,840 Look, fake an entry in the books, 459 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:25,840 then we'll pay Mr. Think Freeze a call. 460 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:26,840 Friendship. 461 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:27,840 Yeah, friendship. 462 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:29,840 We're in this together, pal. 463 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:41,840 Auto Light is bringing you Mr. Eddie Kander in double entry. 464 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:46,840 Tonight's production in Radio's Outstanding Theater of Thrills, Suspense. 465 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:55,840 Happy days are here again. 466 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:56,840 Jingle bells, jingle bells. 467 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,840 Hey, Donner, why the sudden switch? 468 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:02,840 You were sadder than a bride's first batch of biscuits a few minutes ago. 469 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:03,840 Oh, Santa changed his mind. 470 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:06,840 He's sticking to tradition, and I'm going back to work. 471 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:07,840 Well, good for you. 472 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:08,840 It's even better for you. 473 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:11,840 Santa thinks your Auto Light stay full batteries are so good, 474 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:13,840 he's decided to bring one to every car owner. 475 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:16,840 Gosh, what a wonderful way to be greeted Christmas morning. 476 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,840 Imagine finding one of these brawny bundles of endless energy, 477 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:24,840 the Auto Light stay full battery that needs water only three times a year in normal car use, 478 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:26,840 all wrapped up in red ribbon under your tree. 479 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:28,840 But speaking of Christmas greetings, friends, 480 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,840 I have a card here, and it's addressed to you. 481 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:34,840 It says, may your holiday this year be the cheeriest ever, 482 00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:36,840 and it's signed, the Auto Light, folks. 483 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:40,840 To that, let me add Merry Christmas wishes from all of us on Suspense. 484 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,840 Happy holiday to you all. 485 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:47,840 And now, Auto Light brings back to our Hollywood sound stage 486 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:51,840 our star Eddie Kander with Sidney Miller in Double Entry. 487 00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:54,840 A tale well calculated to keep you in... 488 00:17:54,840 --> 00:18:06,840 Suspense. 489 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,840 On the subway up to the bookies place, I didn't say a word. 490 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:13,840 I just stared at the ads and kept thinking of how I'd messed things up 491 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:15,840 and wondering what Sam was thinking. 492 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:20,840 The window we sat near had bars on it, and I felt I was already in jail. 493 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:22,840 Well, we got to the bookies. 494 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,840 It was a great big large room. 495 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,840 The track is now vast at Tropical Park. 496 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,840 Ah, well, well, if it ain't the millionaire bookkeeper. 497 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:31,840 Hi, Eddie. 498 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:32,840 Oh, hello there, Fink. 499 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:34,840 Welcome to our humble joint. 500 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:36,840 Of course, it ain't like Hialeah. 501 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:38,840 But it's as close to it as we can get in New York, I know. 502 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:40,840 This is Sam Crockett, Fink, my friend. 503 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:42,840 Oh, glad to meet you, Mr. Crockett. 504 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:44,840 Smart man you got working with you. 505 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:47,840 He's gonna make himself a pile of dough this afternoon, aren't you, Eddie? 506 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,840 Look, look, fella, this is all a mistake. 507 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:53,840 Eddie had no business betting $2,000 on a horse. 508 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,840 The fact is, it wasn't his money. 509 00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:57,840 Well, I am surprised. 510 00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:59,840 You see, he was trying to help someone. 511 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:02,840 So he helped himself to 2,000 bucks, huh? 512 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,840 Fink, Fink, give us a break and return the money. 513 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,840 We'll both go to jail if we don't put it back. 514 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:09,840 Scratch slow boy number six. 515 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:11,840 I'm very sorry, fellas, but I can't do nothing. 516 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,840 I've turned in the dough. I just work here. 517 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,840 I can't get that back. 518 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:17,840 You've got to help us, Fink. 519 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,840 Look, I'd like to, Crockett, but how can I? 520 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:21,840 This is a business. 521 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,840 Now suppose when I ask the boss, he says it's a contract. 522 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:26,840 He can't back out, neither can you. 523 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:29,840 Where would we be if we asked you to take your money back? 524 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:31,840 Yeah, but don't you see we'll go to Sing Sing Sing. 525 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:34,840 Two minutes to post time for the third at Tropical Placeship. 526 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,840 That's now, men. 527 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:38,840 Maybe those bills were counterfeit. 528 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:40,840 You could tell the cashier the dough's no good, huh? 529 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:43,840 How can I, Eddie? He can spot a phony from 50 yards. 530 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,840 Look, think. The auditors are checking our books now. 531 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:50,840 All I can say is I'm very sorry, and I hope this nag wins for you. 532 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,840 But I can't do a thing about it. 533 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:54,840 Oh, we're sunk, Eddie. 534 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:56,840 I'm really sorry, boys. 535 00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:58,840 I should have known better than to take your dough. 536 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,840 He sounded like he meant it, Sam. 537 00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:02,840 So what? Come on, let's go. 538 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:05,840 Ain't you interested in hearing the race over the loudspeaker? 539 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:06,840 No. 540 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:08,840 Well, I am. It's me who started this. 541 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:10,840 I'm going to get my money's worth. 542 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,840 At Tropical in the third, a correction. 543 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:14,840 Sylvester is riding altruism. 544 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,840 Did you hear that, Sam? 545 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,840 You mean we get a jockey? 546 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:20,840 Don't be funny. Sylvester is hot. 547 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:22,840 He's winning two or three races a day. 548 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,840 At Tropical in the third, they're away at 317. 549 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:26,840 They're off, Sam. I got ears. 550 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,840 Oh, gosh. 551 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:32,840 At the quarter, it's War Alarm, Dive Bomber, Calumet, Powell, Dunnean, 552 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,840 Westwood, O'Fyle, Cliff, Ballion, Ned, 553 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,840 Masjid, Niblic, Timit, Sow, Golden West, Test, 554 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:41,840 Two Box, Shedblock, Early Riser, and... 555 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,840 altruism. 556 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:45,840 No wonder you got 50 to one. There's 50 horses. 557 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:47,840 That's not a race. It's a caravan. 558 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:49,840 Last place. Now are you satisfied? 559 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:51,840 Okay, Sam, let's go. 560 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:53,840 Seabiscuit couldn't win in a crowd like that 561 00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,840 unless he cut across the infield. 562 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:56,840 Oh, you sure pick him. 563 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,840 Come on. What are you waiting for? 564 00:20:58,840 --> 00:20:59,840 I'm not waiting. Quit pushing me. 565 00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:00,840 Am I pushing you? 566 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,840 At the half, Ballion, Ned, Violet, 567 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:06,840 War Alarm, a second, Test, Tuber, third, 568 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,840 Dive Bomber, fourth, Dunnean, Calumet, Powell, 569 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:12,840 Westwood, O'Fyle, Clark, Timit, Sow, 570 00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:15,840 Golden West, Early Riser, Masjid, Niblic, 571 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,840 altruism, and... 572 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:19,840 auction block has dropped out. 573 00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,840 That nag is taking the pause that refreshes. 574 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:23,840 Well, he's come up. 575 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:25,840 If enough drop out, he can win. 576 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:27,840 Yeah, the race would have to last two days, huh? 577 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:28,840 Why didn't they run it in heats? 578 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:30,840 Well, might as well hang around till the end, huh, Sam? 579 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:31,840 Well, I guess so. 580 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:35,840 In the stretch, Ballion, Ned is still leading by a length, 581 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:39,840 Test, Tuber, second, War Alarm, third, 582 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,840 and coming up is altruism. 583 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,840 Did he say altruism? 584 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:44,840 He said it. Get the results. 585 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:46,840 Hey, Porky, how about the finish? 586 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:48,840 Coming over to line up, baby. 587 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,840 Sylvester! Sylvester, ride, boy, ride, ride! 588 00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:53,840 Don't wring your hands. It's too late to pray. 589 00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:54,840 The race is over. 590 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:55,840 Who's the winner? Who's the winner? 591 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:56,840 How do I know? 592 00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,840 The wire is always a minute behind. 593 00:21:58,840 --> 00:21:59,840 Eddie, we've got a chance. 594 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,840 Christmas comes but once a year. 595 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:02,840 That's too close for comfort. 596 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,840 Oh, why did Flint let me take that bet? 597 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,840 The winner after 30 tropical... 598 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:10,840 Shh! 599 00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:11,840 ...is altruism. 600 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:12,840 Oh, my horse! 601 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:14,840 Yours, mine. He won. He won. 602 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:15,840 Sam, he won. 603 00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:16,840 No, he won't. 604 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:18,840 He won, Eddie. 605 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:19,840 Well, am I a chump now? 606 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:21,840 You're a champ, Eddie, a champ. 607 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:22,840 Oh, it was nothing, Sam. 608 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:24,840 Only a sap could do it. 609 00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:25,840 Thanks, Sam. 610 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:27,840 Holy smoke, this does it. 611 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:28,840 Think, I almost forgot. 612 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:30,840 You've got to fork over the money. 613 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:33,840 Yeah, that just about busts this joint. 614 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:34,840 Look, how about calling it off? 615 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:35,840 Calling... 616 00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:37,840 Remember what you said about contracts? 617 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,840 Well, yeah, if I'd have known they were switching Sylvester on that door. 618 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:42,840 Come on, when do we get paid off? 619 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:44,840 Well, right now, Crockett. 620 00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:45,840 Come on over to the cashier. 621 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:47,840 Cash? Do we have to take cash? 622 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:48,840 Oh, absolutely. 623 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:49,840 Here, give me your ticket. 624 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:50,840 Here. 625 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:52,840 Now, here's the cashier at this window. 626 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,840 100 grand, Speed. 627 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:56,840 Look, the cashier don't bat an eye. 628 00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:57,840 I'm going to take the money... 629 00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:58,840 The cops! 630 00:22:58,840 --> 00:22:59,840 It's the rain! 631 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:00,840 How about I go? 632 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:01,840 Where's that cashier? 633 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:12,840 He's going out the back door! 634 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,840 Well, the cops jugged everyone in the place. 635 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,840 Thinkin' the other gamblers got away with 100 grand. 636 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:21,840 And we had to wait until Christmas morning for a hearing. 637 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:25,840 But every silver lining has a rip in it. 638 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:28,840 Oh, I don't see how they got away. 639 00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,840 Oh, am I sore. 640 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,840 We sit here in the can and they're off with all that dough. 641 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:35,840 We were framed, Sam. 642 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:36,840 The whole thing was planned. 643 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:38,840 Oh, you're crazy. 644 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:40,840 How'd think no altruism would win? 645 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:43,840 You can't turn on a police raid like a shower bath. 646 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:45,840 Well, how are we ever going to find those guys? 647 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:46,840 We won't. 648 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:48,840 And if we do, it won't do us any good. 649 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:51,840 Because you haven't got the ticket anymore. 650 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,840 And even if you had, you couldn't force them to pay... 651 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:56,840 because bookmaking isn't legal. It's gambling. 652 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:59,840 Keep on. I love to hear your altar talk. 653 00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:02,840 And it fits so nicely with these surroundings. 654 00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:04,840 Might as well get used to it. 655 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:06,840 We'll be living in quarters like this for some time. 656 00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,840 Quiet, Sam. Here comes the keeper. 657 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:11,840 And he's got think with him. 658 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:13,840 Good. He deserves to be in jail, the dirty... 659 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:16,840 Hello, Eddie. I got something for you. 660 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,840 I'm sorry. I'm just not interested in tips at all. 661 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:22,840 Oh, no, Eddie. You don't understand. 662 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:24,840 I just come to say Merry Christmas. 663 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,840 And this, this is for you, Eddie. 664 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:27,840 For me? 665 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,840 What is that? Open it, Eddie. 666 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:30,840 Are you? 667 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:32,840 Look, Sam, 2,000 bucks. 668 00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:34,840 2,000 bucks? 669 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:37,840 That's right. It's all I got. It's my own dough. 670 00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:40,840 Mike went blue town, so this is the best I can do, Eddie. 671 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:45,840 Oh, gee, thanks, Finck. Thanks. You're a prince. 672 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:56,840 Just call him Santa Claus. 673 00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:59,840 So there I was, back where I started, at scratch. 674 00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:03,840 All I had to do was to put the dough back in the cash drawer. 675 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:07,840 They made us pay a $10 fine, and we got home in time for Christmas dinner. 676 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,840 The next morning, we took the subway downtown. 677 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:15,840 Sam read the paper, and I just stared at the ads as usual. 678 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:18,840 Eddie, quite a story about altruism. 679 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:22,840 Picture of Sylvester. Just a kid, 19, weighs 105. 680 00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:26,840 Look at that ad. It says to spell it backwards. 681 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:29,840 If they want you to read it that way, why didn't they turn it around? 682 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:31,840 Eddie, look. 683 00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:35,840 I don't know why they... What is it, Sam? 684 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:37,840 Look, this picture. It's Bartholomew. 685 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,840 They've arrested him. What for? 686 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:41,840 Embezzlement, Eddie. 687 00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:42,840 But that's you, Sam. 688 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:47,840 Listen to this. Bartholomew confessed to having embezzled company funds 689 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:49,840 to the tune of a quarter of a million dollars 690 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:53,840 when auditors discovered a shortage in cash of $2,000. 691 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:56,840 So that's why he was hurrying those guys around. 692 00:25:56,840 --> 00:26:02,840 Let me see. What a business. Everyone in it is a crook. 693 00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:04,840 Hey, Sam. Sam, where you going? 694 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,840 Back to the police station. I'm giving myself up. 695 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:09,840 Giving yourself up? But Sam... 696 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:12,840 No, Eddie. I'd never sleep again if I escaped scot-free. 697 00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,840 Besides, I'd like to get away from Alice for six months. 698 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:36,840 But Sam... 699 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:40,840 When nobody was looking, I slipped the $2,000 back into the cash drawer. 700 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:44,840 And Sam... Well, Sam went to the police and gave himself up. 701 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,840 But guess what? They didn't want him. 702 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:49,840 They already had their man. 703 00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,840 Sam wrote out a confession, offered to show them the books, 704 00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:54,840 but they just laughed at him. 705 00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:56,840 Called him a publicity seeker. 706 00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,840 He pleaded with him, but it was no use. 707 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:01,840 Even Bartholomew called him a fool. 708 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:05,840 Imagine, Sam fought for the right to go to prison, and they laughed at him. 709 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:09,840 Then he went to the newspapers, even to the district attorney, 710 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,840 explaining what he'd done with the money. 711 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:13,840 But they wouldn't believe him either. 712 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:16,840 That's the thing that finally broke Sam's heart. 713 00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:20,840 No one would believe that he was the famous unknown benefactor. 714 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:26,840 They told him, go on, Santa Claus, go back to your reindeer. 715 00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:32,840 Sam... Sam would have preferred a few quiet months in Sing Sing, Breaking Rocks. 716 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:34,840 He could have got rid of his ulcers. 717 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:38,840 He would have got away from Alice. But no. 718 00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:42,840 Here, Eddie. Hand me that dixie cup, will you? 719 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:44,840 Are ulcers bothering you again, Sam? 720 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:46,840 Yeah, yeah, something awful. 721 00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:49,840 Keeping ledgers straight is driving me nuts. 722 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,840 Oh, Sam. 723 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,840 Suspense presented by Auto Light. 724 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:09,840 Tonight's star, Eddie Cantor with Sidney Miller. 725 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,840 Suspense is a far cry from your Sunday night take it or leave it show. 726 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:16,840 Not so far. There's a lot of suspense when we get to the $64 question. 727 00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:20,840 To make you feel at home, I've prepared a question for you to ask me. 728 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:22,840 I'll bet I know the category, batteries. 729 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:24,840 What else? Where's the question? 730 00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:26,840 Right here on this slip of paper. 731 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:30,840 Is there anything that uses less water than an Auto Light staple battery? 732 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:32,840 Isn't that a silly question to ask you, Harlow? 733 00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:34,840 Yes, Eddie, the answer is so obvious. 734 00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:38,840 Why, Auto Light staple batteries need water only three times a year in normal car use. 735 00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:39,840 Any more questions? 736 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:41,840 No, Eddie, and thank you. 737 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:44,840 Friends, Auto Light staple batteries are made by Auto Light, 738 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,840 who make more than 400 other products for cars, trucks, planes and boats 739 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:49,840 in 28 plants coast to coast. 740 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:52,840 These include complete electrical systems used as original equipment 741 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:54,840 on many makes of America's finest cars. 742 00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:57,840 Batteries, spark plugs, generators, coils, distributors, 743 00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,840 starting motors and bullseye sealed beam headlights. 744 00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:03,840 All engineered to fit together perfectly, work together perfectly 745 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:05,840 because they're a perfect team. 746 00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:07,840 So don't accept electrical parts supposed to be as good. 747 00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:10,840 Ask for and insist on Auto Light original factory parts 748 00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:13,840 at your neighborhood service station, car dealer, garage or repair shop. 749 00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:16,840 Remember, you're always right with Auto Light. 750 00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,840 And friends, once again, Merry Christmas to all and to all good night. 751 00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:28,840 Next Thursday for Suspense, Ida Lupino will be our star. 752 00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:30,840 The play is called The Bullet and it is, as we say, 753 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:34,840 a tale well calculated to keep you in suspense. 754 00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:37,840 Tonight's Suspense play was produced and edited by William Spear 755 00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:39,840 and directed by Norman MacDonald. 756 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:42,840 Music for Suspense is composed by Lucian Morrowackin, 757 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:44,840 conducted by Lud Bluskin. 758 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,840 Double entry is an original radio play by Robert Minton. 759 00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:53,840 You can buy Auto Light staple batteries, Auto Light resistor or regular spark plugs, 760 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:56,840 Auto Light electrical parts at your neighborhood Auto Light dealers. 761 00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:58,840 Switch to Auto Light. Good night. 762 00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:02,840 This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.