1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,200 In just a moment, suspense with Edward G. Robinson. 2 00:00:05,940 --> 00:00:07,940 Boy, have I got the hiccups. 3 00:00:07,940 --> 00:00:09,940 I'll say you have. 4 00:00:09,940 --> 00:00:13,940 And the way you're sputtering, you sound like a car that needs a set of new auto lights bar clubs. 5 00:00:13,940 --> 00:00:17,940 No, Hap, it isn't funny. Billy, have you tried drinking a glass of water while you hold your breath? 6 00:00:17,940 --> 00:00:19,940 Mom, I'm so full of water now I feel... 7 00:00:19,940 --> 00:00:22,940 I feel like an auto light stay full battery. 8 00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:24,940 Men never take anything seriously. 9 00:00:24,940 --> 00:00:26,940 Maybe what Billy needs is a hiccup. 10 00:00:26,940 --> 00:00:30,940 I mean a checkup at an auto light ignition service station. 11 00:00:30,940 --> 00:00:32,940 It might help if I could get my mind on something else. 12 00:00:32,940 --> 00:00:36,940 Say, I know what'll make you forget those hiccups and give you a bunch of thrills to boot. 13 00:00:36,940 --> 00:00:38,940 Switch to auto light, Mary. 14 00:00:38,940 --> 00:00:40,940 It's time for suspense. 15 00:00:40,940 --> 00:00:52,940 Suspense. 16 00:00:58,940 --> 00:01:06,940 Auto light and its 60,000 dealers and service stations bring you Radio's Outstanding Theatre of Thrills. 17 00:01:06,940 --> 00:01:16,940 Starring tonight, Mr. Edward G. Robinson in Anton Leder's production of The Man Who Wanted to Be Edward G. Robinson. 18 00:01:16,940 --> 00:01:22,940 A tale well calculated to keep you in suspense. 19 00:01:27,940 --> 00:01:33,940 I'm making this statement in accordance with a promise to a very dear friend. 20 00:01:33,940 --> 00:01:40,940 It's a complete statement in every detail, including those matters which are to me personally most incriminating. 21 00:01:40,940 --> 00:01:44,940 Because my trust in my friend is such that I haven't the slightest concern on that score. 22 00:01:44,940 --> 00:01:46,940 Or any other. 23 00:01:48,940 --> 00:01:52,940 What follows concerns primarily two persons. 24 00:01:52,940 --> 00:01:58,940 Myself, Homer J. Hubbard, and my wife, Ada Sampsey Hubbard. 25 00:01:58,940 --> 00:02:05,940 Even when I was courting Ada, I was aware that hers was a strong and domineering personality, say the least. 26 00:02:05,940 --> 00:02:13,940 And after we were married, well, at first I put up with Ada's constant nagging and petty persecutions as best I could. 27 00:02:13,940 --> 00:02:17,940 I'd put up with them for 20 long years. 28 00:02:17,940 --> 00:02:27,940 It wasn't until a memorable evening a little over a year ago that the first dim outlines of an escape and finally a plan began to take shape in my mind. 29 00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:35,940 You see, I never was much of a one for movies, but Ada and I had gone to see a picture called Little Caesar. 30 00:02:35,940 --> 00:02:42,940 It was a reissue, I think they call it, with an actor in it whom I'd never even heard of before. 31 00:02:44,940 --> 00:02:46,940 Oh, so you thought you were right on me, huh? 32 00:02:46,940 --> 00:02:49,940 Well, get this. Nobody rats on Little Caesar, see? 33 00:02:49,940 --> 00:02:51,940 Everybody! 34 00:02:56,940 --> 00:03:03,940 The moment I saw that face on the screen, the minute I heard that voice, the world of reality around me simply ceased to exist. 35 00:03:03,940 --> 00:03:08,940 I lived that picture. I was Little Caesar. I was Edward G. Robinson. 36 00:03:08,940 --> 00:03:17,940 I was dimly conscious that my voice was like his, that even my face without my spectacles and with my hair parted differently might have been mistaken for his, 37 00:03:17,940 --> 00:03:24,940 but it was more than that. It was his personality that fascinated me, and that I assumed. 38 00:03:24,940 --> 00:03:31,940 Calm, assured, tough, kind of a man who made people do what he wanted done, the way he wanted it done. 39 00:03:31,940 --> 00:03:36,940 Walking out of the movie theatre afterward, I knew something had happened that was going to change my whole life. 40 00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:42,940 Well, there's a man. Oh, Caesar, they call him, and well they may. 41 00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:46,940 And that Edward G. Robinson, I'll wager he's no Casper Milktoast, either. 42 00:03:46,940 --> 00:03:50,940 Yes, dear. Is that all you have to say? Yes, dear. 43 00:03:50,940 --> 00:03:54,940 What does it take to arouse a little enthusiasm in you, anyway? 44 00:03:54,940 --> 00:04:01,940 Here you've seen a fine performance, a picture that'd get anybody in the world excited, and all you can say is, yes, dear. 45 00:04:01,940 --> 00:04:04,940 I wish you were half the man that Robinson is. 46 00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:11,940 But from that moment I no longer really cared what he'd wished to thought. 47 00:04:11,940 --> 00:04:18,940 I'd begun my escape into a dream world of my own making, a world in which I was Edward G. Robinson. 48 00:04:18,940 --> 00:04:22,940 As the weeks went by, I began to identify myself with him more and more. 49 00:04:22,940 --> 00:04:29,940 I imagined myself in countless dangerous situations, and when no one was looking, I imitated him and I affected his mannerisms. 50 00:04:29,940 --> 00:04:38,940 I would start daydreaming at my desk wondering what the other people in the office would think if I suddenly exposed this hidden side of my personality. 51 00:04:40,940 --> 00:04:44,940 Okay, everybody, stay where you are. You ready? Hold your hands over your heads. 52 00:04:44,940 --> 00:04:46,940 I don't want any monkey business, see? Now stand back there, Ryan. 53 00:04:46,940 --> 00:04:48,940 Any funny stuff from you and I'll let you have it. 54 00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:53,940 This is preposterous. What do you mean by such behavior? Is this your idea of a joke? 55 00:04:53,940 --> 00:04:56,940 You'll see whether it's a joke or not if you make one false move. 56 00:04:56,940 --> 00:04:59,940 Now, this isn't a water pistol I'm holding here, you know. 57 00:04:59,940 --> 00:05:01,940 You're fired. Leave this office immediately. 58 00:05:01,940 --> 00:05:06,940 Well, I'm getting out all right, but I'm not fired, see? I'm leaving well here. That's where you come in, Mr. Ryan. 59 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,940 Please, please, Hubbard, be reasonable. 60 00:05:08,940 --> 00:05:12,940 Now shut up and do what I tell you. Keep your hands up in the air, will you? Walk over to that safe. 61 00:05:12,940 --> 00:05:17,940 Open it up. Get all the money out of it and put it right here on the desk in front of me. Now get moving. 62 00:05:17,940 --> 00:05:23,940 I don't want to have any trouble with you, Ryan. I'm going to count three, and if you're not moving when I finish, you'll never move again, see? 63 00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:26,940 One, two... 64 00:05:28,940 --> 00:05:29,940 Hubbard! 65 00:05:29,940 --> 00:05:31,940 What are you doing daydreaming? 66 00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:35,940 You'd better get busy or I shall be forced to report you to Mr. Pemberton again. 67 00:05:35,940 --> 00:05:44,940 Oh, oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Ryan. I'm terribly sorry. I can't understand what could have come over me. 68 00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:56,940 Well, that's the way it went. At the office, walking down the street, riding home on the bus. My life outwardly, calm and well-ordered, possibly even dull. 69 00:05:56,940 --> 00:06:04,940 It was actually 24 hours of harrowing adventure with myself as the central figure. I saw every Edward G. Robinson picture that came out. 70 00:06:04,940 --> 00:06:13,940 It was the day after seeing Key Largo for the third time that Ada finally caught me. I was lathering my face and talking to myself. 71 00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:24,940 Okay, a rat, you asked for it. You don't come out, say we're coming to get you, see? And we're coming in shooting, see? What's that? Oh, yeah? 72 00:06:24,940 --> 00:06:28,940 Well, only a dirty yellow rat would say that. Okay, boys, let them have it. 73 00:06:28,940 --> 00:06:35,940 Well, I never. Of all the full performances I ever heard of, this beats everything. What in the world are you jabbering about in here? 74 00:06:35,940 --> 00:06:43,940 Oh, well, it's really nothing, dear Ada. I was just sort of trying to imitate Edward G. Robinson. 75 00:06:43,940 --> 00:06:49,940 You were what? Edward G. Robinson? 76 00:06:49,940 --> 00:06:50,940 Yeah. 77 00:06:50,940 --> 00:06:55,940 Oh, that's rich. You tried to imitate Edward G. Robinson. 78 00:06:55,940 --> 00:06:57,940 Hmm. Yeah. 79 00:06:57,940 --> 00:07:10,940 Oh, I can't stand it. Don't stop. Don't let me interrupt the performance, Mr. Movie Star. Come on, come on. Do your act for me. 80 00:07:10,940 --> 00:07:13,940 Well, dear, I don't see anything so funny about it. 81 00:07:13,940 --> 00:07:24,940 Oh, maybe you don't. But you're the only person in the world who wants to. Oh, my. I'll leave you to your rehearsing. 82 00:07:24,940 --> 00:07:31,940 Why don't you imitate any Bracken or Margaret or Brian? I think you'd find it easier. 83 00:07:31,940 --> 00:07:46,940 It was right then that I decided to kill her. 84 00:07:46,940 --> 00:08:02,940 For suspense, Auto Light is bringing you Mr. Edward G. Robinson in radio's outstanding theater of thrills, Suspense. 85 00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:08,940 Say, Mary, looks like Billy's all over those hiccups thanks to Edward G. Robinson and suspense. 86 00:08:08,940 --> 00:08:13,940 Shh. Don't mention hiccups again. He might get them back. Let's switch his mind to something else. 87 00:08:13,940 --> 00:08:20,940 Well, you know how he is about anything Auto Light makes. Let's listen to Frank Martin. That'll do the trick. 88 00:08:20,940 --> 00:08:26,940 Friends, money can't buy better electrical equipment for your car than Auto Light. And here's why. 89 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:32,940 In the first place, Auto Light is the world's largest independent manufacturer of automotive electrical equipment, 90 00:08:32,940 --> 00:08:36,940 original factory equipment for many of the finest cars and trucks in America. 91 00:08:36,940 --> 00:08:44,940 In its 26 nationwide plants, Auto Light manufactures distributors, generators, starting motors, spark plugs, batteries, wire, 92 00:08:44,940 --> 00:08:53,940 not to mention such things as bumpers, die castings, horns, instruments and gauges, lights, ornamental plastics, and over 400 other products. 93 00:08:53,940 --> 00:09:00,940 What's more, Auto Light service stations all over the country are staffed with trained men and specialized machines 94 00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:03,940 to give your car the best possible electrical service. 95 00:09:03,940 --> 00:09:09,940 So friends, when your car's electrical equipment needs attention, drive into your nearest Auto Light service station 96 00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:14,940 or the dealer who sells your make of car and ask for original factory parts and service. 97 00:09:14,940 --> 00:09:24,940 Remember, Auto Light service stations are listed in your classified telephone directory under automotive electrical equipment. 98 00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:37,940 And now, Auto Light brings back to our Hollywood sound stage Mr. Edward G. Robinson in The Man Who Wanted to Be Edward G. Robinson. 99 00:09:37,940 --> 00:09:42,940 A tale well calculated to keep you in suspense. 100 00:09:42,940 --> 00:09:52,940 The Man Who Wanted to Be Edward G. Robinson 101 00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:58,940 I, uh, I might have decided to have mercy on her if she'd only let me alone. 102 00:09:58,940 --> 00:10:01,940 But Ada could never leave anyone alone. 103 00:10:01,940 --> 00:10:04,940 She ridiculed me at home and in front of our friends. 104 00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:10,940 Sometimes she'd let a few weeks go by without saying anything and I would think that perhaps she had forgotten. 105 00:10:10,940 --> 00:10:13,940 No, Ada never forgot. 106 00:10:13,940 --> 00:10:17,940 She would wait until we were in a group of people and then she would come out with it. 107 00:10:17,940 --> 00:10:22,940 Well, my dear, you mean I haven't told you about Homer's dream world? 108 00:10:22,940 --> 00:10:25,940 He thinks he's Edward G. Robinson. 109 00:10:25,940 --> 00:10:27,940 Oh, no! 110 00:10:27,940 --> 00:10:38,940 Do tell us, Mr. Homer G. Robinson, when do you think you'll be getting your next contract from Hollywood? 111 00:10:38,940 --> 00:10:42,940 Oh, you folks have got Homer all wrong. 112 00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:57,940 He's a killer at heart, just a cold-blooded killer. 113 00:10:57,940 --> 00:10:58,940 I want to buy a gun. 114 00:10:58,940 --> 00:11:01,940 Yes, sir. What kind of a gun? 115 00:11:01,940 --> 00:11:07,940 Well, I don't know much about guns, but that one looks all right. 116 00:11:07,940 --> 00:11:09,940 Yes, yes. That's a nice little gun. 117 00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:10,940 Yes, isn't it? 118 00:11:10,940 --> 00:11:12,940 2850. 119 00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:14,940 Do I have to have a license? 120 00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:17,940 Oh, not unless you're going to carry it on your person. 121 00:11:17,940 --> 00:11:20,940 Otherwise, we just register it for the police records under your name. 122 00:11:20,940 --> 00:11:22,940 What's the name? 123 00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:25,940 Oh, Edward G. Robinson. 124 00:11:25,940 --> 00:11:27,940 I beg your pardon? 125 00:11:27,940 --> 00:11:30,940 You heard me, Mug. Edward G. Robinson. See? 126 00:11:35,940 --> 00:11:38,940 I had made my plans very carefully. 127 00:11:38,940 --> 00:11:42,940 My plan was that her murder would look like suicide. 128 00:11:42,940 --> 00:11:48,940 It would be a night when the moon was full so that I could see her head on the pillow and aim carefully. 129 00:11:48,940 --> 00:11:55,940 I would fire the shot through the temple, quickly wipe my fingerprints from the handle of the gun, and then push it into her hand. 130 00:11:55,940 --> 00:11:59,940 And as the shot and buried husband, I would call Dr. Wallace. 131 00:11:59,940 --> 00:12:03,940 The police wouldn't come until later, and when they did, I would be ready for them. 132 00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:09,940 I was so busy laying my plans that I hadn't been reading the papers and had to be told the big news. 133 00:12:09,940 --> 00:12:10,940 Homer? 134 00:12:10,940 --> 00:12:14,940 Oh, I beg your pardon. Mr. Robinson. 135 00:12:14,940 --> 00:12:15,940 Oh, please. 136 00:12:15,940 --> 00:12:21,940 Would you mind passing the spinach? That is, if you're not too preoccupied with planning your next murder. 137 00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:23,940 Oh, please, please, Ada. 138 00:12:23,940 --> 00:12:26,940 Yeah, held up any banks lately, Homer? 139 00:12:26,940 --> 00:12:28,940 Here you are, dear. 140 00:12:28,940 --> 00:12:32,940 Oh, say, that reminds me, all kidding aside. Did you know that he's going to be here next week? 141 00:12:32,940 --> 00:12:33,940 Who? 142 00:12:33,940 --> 00:12:34,940 Edward G. Robinson. 143 00:12:34,940 --> 00:12:35,940 What? 144 00:12:35,940 --> 00:12:37,940 He's going to address the hobbyist convention. 145 00:12:37,940 --> 00:12:38,940 Oh, is that so? 146 00:12:38,940 --> 00:12:41,940 Yeah, sure. Well, hi. I'd like to hear him. 147 00:12:41,940 --> 00:12:48,940 I would too. Oh, I'd love to see what a real he-man is like. Not just a poor imitation. 148 00:12:48,940 --> 00:13:03,940 We went, and at first it was the most terrible this point in my life, because he wasn't tough or hard-boiled or anything like it. 149 00:13:03,940 --> 00:13:09,940 He seemed to be a mild-mannered little fellow, a little shy, almost like me. 150 00:13:09,940 --> 00:13:18,940 He talked about orchids and modern art. They were his hobbies, he said, raising orchids and collecting paintings, modern paintings. 151 00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:25,940 As the lecture went on, I began to understand. By the time it was over, I knew. 152 00:13:25,940 --> 00:13:29,940 And so, ladies and gentlemen, I consider myself twice blessed. 153 00:13:29,940 --> 00:13:34,940 Every man is blessed who has a hobby, but I am among the fortunate few who have two hobbies. 154 00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:39,940 And as the fellow said, whose fiancé had a twin sister, I love them both. 155 00:13:39,940 --> 00:13:43,940 Thank you, thank you very much. 156 00:13:49,940 --> 00:13:57,940 Later that evening, I made an excuse to get away from Ada and went down to the hotel where I knew Mr. Robinson was staying. 157 00:13:57,940 --> 00:14:02,940 I bribed the bellboy $1.75 to tell me which was his room. 158 00:14:02,940 --> 00:14:06,940 I went down the hall and knocked at the door of 708. 159 00:14:06,940 --> 00:14:08,940 Yeah? 160 00:14:08,940 --> 00:14:13,940 Western Union. Come on in. 161 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,940 Just put it on the... 162 00:14:15,940 --> 00:14:21,940 Well, say, Western Union dresses their boys up pretty snappy in this town, don't they? 163 00:14:21,940 --> 00:14:30,940 I must apologize for adopting the subterfuge, Mr. Robinson, but I have something of the utmost importance to discuss with you. 164 00:14:30,940 --> 00:14:36,940 I was afraid you might not see me since, well, we've never been formally introduced. 165 00:14:36,940 --> 00:14:41,940 Ha, ha, ha! Formally introduced? That's all right. What is it, autograph? 166 00:14:41,940 --> 00:14:46,940 I'm afraid it's something a good deal more serious than that, Mr. Robinson. 167 00:14:46,940 --> 00:14:52,940 Yeah? Well, you caught me right in the middle of shaving, as you see, but if you don't mind my finishing the job while you talk, I... 168 00:14:52,940 --> 00:14:55,940 Come right along inside. Tell me all about it. 169 00:14:55,940 --> 00:14:57,940 Thank you. 170 00:14:57,940 --> 00:15:01,940 Well, now, what's on your mind? 171 00:15:01,940 --> 00:15:09,940 Well, Mr. Robinson, I have a problem and I feel you are the person best fitted in the world to tell me what to do. 172 00:15:09,940 --> 00:15:12,940 That so? Well, what is the problem? 173 00:15:12,940 --> 00:15:19,940 Well, Mr. Robinson, suppose... Of course, this is purely hypothetical. 174 00:15:19,940 --> 00:15:22,940 But suppose you were going to kill somebody. 175 00:15:22,940 --> 00:15:24,940 Kill somebody? 176 00:15:24,940 --> 00:15:31,940 Yes, in your own home, somebody who is, shall we say, related to you. 177 00:15:31,940 --> 00:15:37,940 Now, hold on a minute, Mr. Hubbard. Homer J. Hubbard. 178 00:15:37,940 --> 00:15:44,940 Mr. Hubbard, I may look like a bad guy on the screen, but when I'm not working, I'm just a plain, peace-loving citizen like anybody else. 179 00:15:44,940 --> 00:15:51,940 Oh, you can fool people like that. Audience night with all that talk about orchids and modern art. 180 00:15:51,940 --> 00:15:55,940 It was very good and I quite understand why you do it. 181 00:15:55,940 --> 00:16:01,940 A man in your position must have a front, of course, but you didn't fool me. 182 00:16:01,940 --> 00:16:09,940 I didn't, huh? Well, I know. Rather, I knew I could come to you and be perfectly frank. 183 00:16:09,940 --> 00:16:11,940 Yeah, about what? 184 00:16:11,940 --> 00:16:13,940 About the murder. 185 00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,940 About the what? 186 00:16:15,940 --> 00:16:24,940 Look at me, Mr. Robinson. I'm a shy, inhibited, weak, utterly ineffectual person. 187 00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:30,940 I have none of your assurance, your hardness, your ability to cope with any situation, to direct ruthless wha... 188 00:16:30,940 --> 00:16:42,940 Yeah? Well, how many times I wished I had, because for 20 years my life has been made horribly, unbearably miserable by one person. 189 00:16:42,940 --> 00:16:44,940 My wife. 190 00:16:44,940 --> 00:16:54,940 Oh, so that's the way it is. Yes. For years I bore it as best I could and then one day I thought, how would you have coped with it? 191 00:16:54,940 --> 00:16:57,940 And of course I knew it once. You would kill her. 192 00:16:57,940 --> 00:16:59,940 Yeah, now, wait a minute. Are you kidding me? 193 00:16:59,940 --> 00:17:02,940 Oh, no, no, Mr. Robinson. I wouldn't think of such a thing. 194 00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:09,940 Look, look here. I've even secured a gun to do it with. Hmm? 195 00:17:09,940 --> 00:17:15,940 Yeah, here, you better give me that. No, no, don't point it. Hand it at me by the barrel. Here. 196 00:17:15,940 --> 00:17:19,940 Put it over here. Safer, you know. 197 00:17:19,940 --> 00:17:25,940 Yeah, I must admit I know very little about firearms and they're quite distasteful to me. 198 00:17:25,940 --> 00:17:27,940 Yes, you and me both. 199 00:17:27,940 --> 00:17:29,940 You, Mr. Robinson? 200 00:17:29,940 --> 00:17:36,940 Well, I mean, small arms like that. Of course, a Tommy gun, that's different. That's the only thing to use. 201 00:17:36,940 --> 00:17:41,940 Yeah, I suppose you're right. But I didn't know where to get a Tommy gun. 202 00:17:41,940 --> 00:17:45,940 I was afraid even if I did, I'd never master the art of using it. 203 00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:52,940 Yeah, well, now you want to kill your wife, is that it? You want me to help you? 204 00:17:52,940 --> 00:17:58,940 If you would, Mr. Robinson, if you could spare the time, I can't tell you how grateful I'd be. 205 00:17:58,940 --> 00:18:04,940 Yeah, well, you know, Mr. Hubbard, you look like a pretty nice little guy. 206 00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:09,940 Well, it must really be an old battle axe to have got you in a frame of mind like this. 207 00:18:09,940 --> 00:18:13,940 All right, now I'll tell you what I'll do. I will help you. 208 00:18:13,940 --> 00:18:18,940 Oh, Mr. Robinson. Yes, but it's got to be done my way, see? It's got to be done right. You got to plan these things. 209 00:18:18,940 --> 00:18:22,940 Yeah, now, take this gat, this little flea, for instance, that you got over there. 210 00:18:22,940 --> 00:18:29,940 That's no kind of a rod to kill your wife with. Why, the caliber is all wrong. The ballistics would be all wrong. 211 00:18:29,940 --> 00:18:34,940 Fix would be on your trail just like that. Now, I got to get home. That's perfect for the job. 212 00:18:34,940 --> 00:18:39,940 Get me? I've knocked off Orson Welles, Jimmy Keag. Oh, I don't know how many guys with this. 213 00:18:39,940 --> 00:18:42,940 Now, the first thing when I get home, I'll send it to you parcel post, see? 214 00:18:42,940 --> 00:18:47,940 Would you, Mr. Robinson? Oh, sure, sure. Now, when you get it, just lay low, see? 215 00:18:47,940 --> 00:18:54,940 Now, don't do a thing till you hear from me. I'll lay this thing out for some of my boys, and then I'll get in touch with you. Okay? 216 00:18:54,940 --> 00:19:01,940 Oh, yes, Mr. Robinson. I don't know how to thank you. Ah, forget it, pal. 217 00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:03,940 What's a little moiter between friends? 218 00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:13,940 I could scarcely maintain my composure in the two days that followed. 219 00:19:13,940 --> 00:19:22,940 The second day, sure enough, the gun arrived. It was a great heavy thing, the kind that's referred to, I think, as an automatic. 220 00:19:22,940 --> 00:19:27,940 Remembering its history, I handle it with the utmost care of reverence. 221 00:19:27,940 --> 00:19:33,940 I hid it in the garage where I keep my pipe that Hader won't let me smoke in the house. 222 00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:37,940 It was the next afternoon, Saturday, that the phone rang. 223 00:19:37,940 --> 00:19:45,940 I rushed into the bedroom to answer it and close the door after me so Hader wouldn't hear in case it was. 224 00:19:45,940 --> 00:19:47,940 Hello, Homer? Yes? 225 00:19:47,940 --> 00:19:50,940 This is Eddie. Eddie? 226 00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:52,940 Yeah, yeah, you know, Eddie Robinson. 227 00:19:52,940 --> 00:19:56,940 Oh, yes, yes, Miss... uh, Eddie. 228 00:19:56,940 --> 00:19:58,940 You get that package I sent you? 229 00:19:58,940 --> 00:20:00,940 Oh, yes, yes, I got it. 230 00:20:00,940 --> 00:20:04,940 Okay, but don't fool around with it, will you, until the time comes. Kind of tricky. 231 00:20:04,940 --> 00:20:06,940 Oh, no, no, no, I won't. 232 00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:11,940 Now, listen, the bed line is tomorrow night. Midnight, got it? 233 00:20:11,940 --> 00:20:12,940 Yes. 234 00:20:12,940 --> 00:20:19,940 Now, here's the layout. Tomorrow night, you go to bed, just as always, but have that cat handy and leave the front door open, see? 235 00:20:19,940 --> 00:20:21,940 I understand. 236 00:20:21,940 --> 00:20:26,940 Oh, I say, wait a minute, I meant to ask you, is it safe to talk where you are? 237 00:20:26,940 --> 00:20:31,940 Oh, yes, yes, the phone's in the bedroom and the door is closed. 238 00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:34,940 The bedroom, huh? That's well... 239 00:20:34,940 --> 00:20:38,940 Well, now, listen, a little before midnight, you get up, see? 240 00:20:38,940 --> 00:20:42,940 When she's asleep, you take a spot just outside the bedroom door, see? 241 00:20:42,940 --> 00:20:46,940 Where you can keep an eye on her and on the front door, too, see? 242 00:20:46,940 --> 00:20:47,940 Yes. 243 00:20:47,940 --> 00:20:49,940 Well, at midnight, I'll contact you. 244 00:20:49,940 --> 00:20:54,940 We'll do your job and then make a quick getaway and you can hole up in the hide until he eats off. Get it? 245 00:20:54,940 --> 00:20:56,940 Tomorrow night, midnight. 246 00:20:56,940 --> 00:21:01,940 I'll do everything just as you say, Eddie. 247 00:21:04,940 --> 00:21:07,940 I followed his instructions to the letter. 248 00:21:07,940 --> 00:21:10,940 It seemed hours before Ada went to sleep that night. 249 00:21:10,940 --> 00:21:14,940 It seemed days until my watch finally crept around towards midnight. 250 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:18,940 But at last, the time had come. 251 00:21:18,940 --> 00:21:22,940 I crept out of bed, got the gun out of my coat pocket, 252 00:21:22,940 --> 00:21:29,940 and took my position on the landing outside the bedroom door as he had told me to. 253 00:21:31,940 --> 00:21:34,940 And then suddenly, suddenly the phone rang. 254 00:21:34,940 --> 00:21:36,940 The plan was ruined. 255 00:21:36,940 --> 00:21:39,940 Even Edward G. Robinson couldn't have foreseen this. 256 00:21:39,940 --> 00:21:44,940 I rushed back into the bedroom hoping against hope that I could catch it before Ada woke up. 257 00:21:44,940 --> 00:21:46,940 But she already had the light on. 258 00:21:46,940 --> 00:21:52,940 Homer! What in the world are you doing prowling around at this time of night with a gun in your hand? 259 00:21:52,940 --> 00:21:54,940 I thought I heard a burglar. 260 00:21:54,940 --> 00:21:59,940 Burglar? When I've answered this phone, I want to talk to you, Homer Jeremiah Hubbard. Hello? 261 00:21:59,940 --> 00:22:01,940 Yes. 262 00:22:02,940 --> 00:22:04,940 What? 263 00:22:04,940 --> 00:22:05,940 Oh. 264 00:22:05,940 --> 00:22:06,940 What? 265 00:22:06,940 --> 00:22:07,940 Homer, there is a burglar. 266 00:22:07,940 --> 00:22:08,940 Is there? 267 00:22:08,940 --> 00:22:10,940 Someone just saw him trying to get into the house. 268 00:22:10,940 --> 00:22:11,940 Are you sure? 269 00:22:11,940 --> 00:22:15,940 Of course I am. A man just phoned that he saw the burglar. 270 00:22:15,940 --> 00:22:17,940 Well, don't just stand there. 271 00:22:17,940 --> 00:22:19,940 You've got a gun. Go on down and stop him. 272 00:22:19,940 --> 00:22:20,940 But Ada... 273 00:22:20,940 --> 00:22:23,940 Go on. Do you want us to be killed in our beds? Go on, I say. 274 00:22:23,940 --> 00:22:27,940 Oh, wait. Why do you have to spoil everything? 275 00:22:30,940 --> 00:22:32,940 There was nothing to do but go. 276 00:22:32,940 --> 00:22:36,940 I crept down the stairs in the darkness. 277 00:22:36,940 --> 00:22:39,940 I knew what Edward G. Robinson would have done. 278 00:22:39,940 --> 00:22:44,940 He would have gone down and captured the burglar without the slightest trouble and turned him over to the police. 279 00:22:44,940 --> 00:22:46,940 After giving him the beating he deserved. 280 00:22:46,940 --> 00:22:51,940 But somehow I didn't feel much like Edward G. Robinson just then. 281 00:22:51,940 --> 00:22:56,940 It was at that moment that the terrible thought occurred to me that maybe it wasn't the burglar. 282 00:22:56,940 --> 00:22:58,940 Maybe this was Edward G. Robinson. 283 00:22:58,940 --> 00:23:00,940 I had no time to pursue the thought further. 284 00:23:00,940 --> 00:23:01,940 Let him have it! 285 00:23:01,940 --> 00:23:06,940 Suddenly, suddenly there was a barrage of shots and a confused yelling of voices. 286 00:23:06,940 --> 00:23:09,940 In my terror I suppose I must have squeezed the trigger of my own gun. 287 00:23:09,940 --> 00:23:12,940 Because it began jumping and thrusting in my hand. 288 00:23:12,940 --> 00:23:17,940 I tripped on something and the next thing I knew I was tumbling headlong down the stairs and that was the last I remember. 289 00:23:25,940 --> 00:23:30,940 When I woke up Ada was holding my head in her arms and she was crying. 290 00:23:30,940 --> 00:23:34,940 They made me stay in bed for a couple of days but I really didn't mind. 291 00:23:34,940 --> 00:23:39,940 There were reporters to see me and take my picture for the paper and all kinds of people. 292 00:23:39,940 --> 00:23:42,940 Even Mr. Ryan and Mr. Pemberton came to see me. 293 00:23:42,940 --> 00:23:46,940 Ada? Well Ada was simply a changed person. 294 00:23:46,940 --> 00:23:48,940 Nothing was too good for me. 295 00:23:48,940 --> 00:23:51,940 My slightest wish was literally her command. 296 00:23:51,940 --> 00:23:58,940 If the whole thing hadn't been an accident, if I'd planned it that way, it couldn't have turned out better. 297 00:23:58,940 --> 00:24:05,940 And then, then was the final climax that afternoon when the phone rang by my bed. 298 00:24:06,940 --> 00:24:09,940 Yes? Oh yes! 299 00:24:09,940 --> 00:24:13,940 Eddie? You did, you did, huh? 300 00:24:13,940 --> 00:24:16,940 Oh nothing, nothing really. 301 00:24:16,940 --> 00:24:19,940 Yes? Oh. 302 00:24:19,940 --> 00:24:24,940 Well, about that, things have changed. 303 00:24:24,940 --> 00:24:27,940 Oh yes, they have changed quite a lot. 304 00:24:27,940 --> 00:24:31,940 I don't think we'll have to go through with it. 305 00:24:31,940 --> 00:24:33,940 Yeah, that's right. 306 00:24:33,940 --> 00:24:36,940 Oh sure, sure, she's right here. Just a minute. 307 00:24:36,940 --> 00:24:38,940 Eddie wants to talk to you, Ada. 308 00:24:38,940 --> 00:24:39,940 Eddie? 309 00:24:39,940 --> 00:24:42,940 Yeah, Eddie Robinson. Quite a pal of mine. 310 00:24:42,940 --> 00:24:44,940 You mean Edward G. Robinson? 311 00:24:44,940 --> 00:24:50,940 Oh yes, he, we had quite a little chat that night. He was in town after I let you. He got pretty chummy. 312 00:24:50,940 --> 00:24:51,940 Here, go on. 313 00:24:51,940 --> 00:24:55,940 Hello? Oh yes. 314 00:24:55,940 --> 00:25:00,940 Oh yes, Mr. Robinson. Oh I know he is. 315 00:25:00,940 --> 00:25:04,940 Oh I certainly will, Mr. Robinson. 316 00:25:04,940 --> 00:25:08,940 Yes, yes, I know I'm very lucky. 317 00:25:08,940 --> 00:25:13,940 All right, Mr. Robinson. Goodbye. 318 00:25:13,940 --> 00:25:17,940 Oh Homer, he knew all about it. He'd seen it in the papers. 319 00:25:17,940 --> 00:25:18,940 Yeah, so he said. 320 00:25:18,940 --> 00:25:24,940 And he said you were a hero. A real hero. Bigger than any movie hero that ever was. 321 00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:25,940 He did, huh? 322 00:25:25,940 --> 00:25:26,940 Oh Homer. 323 00:25:26,940 --> 00:25:32,940 Well, if Eddie Robinson says I'm a hero, I guess maybe I am. 324 00:25:32,940 --> 00:25:40,940 MUSIC 325 00:25:40,940 --> 00:25:43,940 Couldn't have turned out better, Eddie. You know how grateful I am. 326 00:25:43,940 --> 00:25:49,940 I'm a regular little Caesar around town now and my married life is all I've ever wanted to be. 327 00:25:49,940 --> 00:25:52,940 Of course, there are some things about the whole thing that confuse me a little. 328 00:25:52,940 --> 00:25:58,940 It has even occurred to me, I'll confess that you might have had more of a hand in it that was generally known, 329 00:25:58,940 --> 00:26:01,940 and that the gun you sent me might have contained blanks. 330 00:26:01,940 --> 00:26:07,940 I believe you called them because in spite of all the shooting, there wasn't one bullet hole anywhere in the house. 331 00:26:07,940 --> 00:26:10,940 And the gun had disappeared, which confused the police somewhat too. 332 00:26:10,940 --> 00:26:14,940 And the burglars might have been some of your boys playing a little joke. 333 00:26:14,940 --> 00:26:19,940 But I don't think you would do a thing like that to a pal, Eddie. Would you? 334 00:26:19,940 --> 00:26:26,940 I don't even think you would use the statement that you asked me to send you to hold over my head as a guarantee that I wouldn't try to kill Eddie again. 335 00:26:26,940 --> 00:26:28,940 Now, not that I ever would. 336 00:26:28,940 --> 00:26:33,940 Yes, but even if you did all that, Eddie, I don't really mind. 337 00:26:33,940 --> 00:26:38,940 Because as you might say yourself, what's a little joke between pals? 338 00:26:38,940 --> 00:26:46,940 MUSIC 339 00:26:46,940 --> 00:26:53,940 Thank you, Edward G. Robinson, for a splendid performance. Mr. Robinson will return in just a moment. 340 00:26:53,940 --> 00:26:57,940 My, that was a wonderful performance, wasn't it, Hap? 341 00:26:57,940 --> 00:27:01,940 Sure was. Oh, say, Billy, how are the hiccups? 342 00:27:01,940 --> 00:27:05,940 Oh, God, Dad, I think I lost them during Mr. Martin's last Auto Light commercial. 343 00:27:05,940 --> 00:27:14,940 Yeah, that's fine. Well, I guess it's time to... Oh, my gosh. Now, I've got them. Mary, turn up Frank Martin again, quick. 344 00:27:14,940 --> 00:27:23,940 Auto Light Original Factory Parts and Auto Light Service Stations work as a team to help you maintain carefree, economical performance for your car. 345 00:27:23,940 --> 00:27:35,940 So, friends, when your car's electrical system needs attention, drive into your nearest Auto Light Service Station or the dealer who sells your make of car and ask for Original Factory Parts and Auto Light Service. 346 00:27:35,940 --> 00:27:42,940 Money can't buy better electrical equipment than Auto Light. And remember, Auto Light means spark plug. 347 00:27:42,940 --> 00:27:52,940 Ignition engineered spark plug. Auto Light means batteries. Stay full, batteries. Auto Light means ignition system. The lifeline of your car. 348 00:27:58,940 --> 00:28:01,940 And now here again is Mr. Edward G. Robinson. 349 00:28:01,940 --> 00:28:09,940 It's been fun appearing in our suspense story tonight, but just so nobody gets the wrong idea, it was only a story. I'm not really so doubtful. 350 00:28:09,940 --> 00:28:20,940 Only get this. I'm telling you, see, you better listen to suspense next week, see, because Ray Milan will be hearing the story called Night Trial by William L. Stewart. 351 00:28:20,940 --> 00:28:25,940 Another gripping study in... Suspense. 352 00:28:27,940 --> 00:28:32,940 Edward G. Robinson may soon be seen in the Paramount production, Night Has a Thousand Eyes. 353 00:28:32,940 --> 00:28:39,940 Tonight's suspense play was written by Leslie Raditz with music composed by Lucian Morawick and conducted by Lud Gluskin. 354 00:28:39,940 --> 00:28:42,940 The entire production was under the direction of Anton M. Leeder. 355 00:28:42,940 --> 00:28:50,940 In the coming weeks, Suspense will present such stars as William Powell, Lucille Ball, John Garfield, Sydney Greenstreet and many others. 356 00:28:50,940 --> 00:28:55,940 Make it a point to listen each Thursday to Suspense, Radio's outstanding theater of thrills. 357 00:28:55,940 --> 00:29:02,940 And next Thursday, same time, hear Ray Milan in Night Cry. 358 00:29:07,940 --> 00:29:16,940 This is the Auto Light Suspense Show. Drive as if your life depends on it. It does. Good night. Switch to Auto Light. 359 00:29:16,940 --> 00:29:26,940 This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.