Now, the Roma Wine Company of Fresno, California presents...
Suspense!
Tonight, Roma wines bring you a play of suspense and smiles, starring William Bendix and Alan
Jocelyn.
Suspense is presented for your enjoyment by Roma Wines.
That's R-O-M-A, Roma Wines.
Those excellent California wines that can add so much pleasantness to the way you live,
to your happiness and entertaining guests, to your enjoyment of everyday meals.
Yes, right now a glass full would be very pleasant, as Roma Wines bring you a remarkable
tale of suspense.
And with Raymond Chandler's satirical suspense tale, Pearls are a Nuisance.
And with the performances of William Bendix and Alan Jocelyn, Roma Wines hope indeed to
keep you in suspense.
It's quite true I wasn't doing anything that morning, except looking at a blank sheet of
paper in my typewriter and thinking about writing a letter.
It's also quite true that I don't have a great deal to do any morning, but I like not doing
anything.
I want to do something to do.
And I don't like telephone calls that interfere with it.
That's why I have two telephones, one a public phone that I can ignore and the other a private
phone, which I better answer if I know what's good for me and I do.
What did you say darling?
Oh, I said good morning dear.
How are you darling, busy?
Yes and no, mostly no.
Why?
Somebody has stolen Mrs. Tenreddick Pearls and I want you to find them.
Possibly you think you have the police department on the line.
This is the residence of Walter Gage, Walter Gage speaking.
If you aren't out here in less than half an hour, you'll receive a small parcel by registered
mail containing a diamond engagement ring.
I'll tell Mr. Gage when he comes in.
No, I went naturally, I even hurried.
Ellen's voice has that effect on me.
I think it's the way she says it.
Walter darling.
Yes, Ellen.
Mrs. Tenreddick's pearl necklace has been stolen.
So you said on the telephone my blood pressure remains normal.
It's a string of 49 matched pink pearls that Mr. Tenreddick gave his wife on their golden
wedding anniversary.
Only 49 pearls for 50 years of marriage?
I wonder which was the bad year.
Oh shut up darling.
Yes dear.
The worst part of it is the pearls are false.
False?
Evidently they're all bad years.
Don't be silly, Walter.
The pearls were real enough when Mr. Tenreddick gave them to her.
The fact is she sold them and had copies made.
Those copies have been stolen.
We've got to get them back, Walter.
What does it matter if they're false?
Well she's terrified that the faithful blackmailer when he finds out they're only making imitations.
If Mr. Tenreddick ever hears that she sold the original.
Oh I begin to see what might be described as daylight.
But where do I start looking for these baubles from which your elderly employer is so loath
to be separated?
Because I know who stole them.
It's so fair we had here a few months, Walter.
A horror big bruiser named Henry Eichelberger.
And that's suddenly the day before yesterday for no reason at all, without a word.
I'm sure he stole the pearls.
How big did you say he is?
About six feet.
How big did that taste?
Three.
Three?
Six foot three?
Three.
I'm sure he didn't take them dear, couldn't he?
He tried to kiss me once, Walter.
Oh he did?
Tried to kiss you?
Where is this big slab of meat, darling?
Here's the address he gave me when he first came here to work.
Sounds like an unpleasant neighborhood.
Not half as unpleasant as it'll be for Eichelberger when I arrive.
Tried to kiss you, did he?
The pearls are the important thing, Walter.
And be careful.
He's six foot three, remember?
I find it difficult to forget.
Eichelberger's address proved to be a seedy looking hotel upstairs over a Chinese laundry.
At the head of the stairs was the door marked manager.
I rang the bell.
Full up, Bud.
Roll.
I'm not inquiring for a room.
I'm looking for one Henry Eichelberger, whom I'm informed libtard.
If he does, he ain't registered.
That is, of course you know, is contrary to the law.
A wise guy, hey.
Down the hall, Jack.
To 18.
Have the kindness to show me the way.
Huh.
What do you know?
A duke, no less.
Okay, your lordship.
Pick up your feet, hey.
This is it.
He's out.
Half an hour.
I'm going to go get a drink.
I'll be right back.
He's out.
Have the goodness to unlock the door.
I wish to go in and wait for this Eichelberger.
In a pig's beliefs.
Who do you think you are, Jake boy?
I wouldn't call me names if I were you.
You wouldn't, hey.
Well, that just shows the difference between you and me, because I would.
You want to make something out of it, hey?
Yes.
What?
Oh.
Hey, that wasn't fair.
You got 20 years on me, hey.
Well, open the door, hey.
I have no time to argue with you.
Oh.
A buck.
Two bucks, and I won't even tell Eichelberger when he comes in, hey.
That is a deal.
Brother, you can, hey.
I'll take that for you, hey.
Thanks, hey.
Here's your money.
If you hear any noises later on, ignore them.
If there's any damage, it'll be paid for generously.
I hope you know what you're doing, hey.
I searched all the likely places where he might have hidden the necklace, and then I searched
all the unlikely places.
No necklace.
Then I heard approaching footsteps.
How did you get in here, sonny?
The explanation of that can wait.
I'm looking for one Henry Eichelberger.
Are you he?
Get you, a real comedian.
Wait till I loosen my belt before you make me laugh.
My name's Gage, Walter Gage.
Are you Eichelberger?
Give me a nickel and I'll tell you.
I'm the fiance of Miss Ellen McIntosh.
I'm informed that you tried to kiss her.
What do you mean, tried?
I hit him rather severely on the left eye, then the right.
And I gave him a crushing uppercut to the jaw.
He looked at me with an air of patient resignation and then hit me.
I bent over and took hold of the room with both hands and spun it.
When I had it nicely spinning, I gave it a full swing and hit myself on the back of the
head with the floor.
I believe I lost consciousness at about this point.
At any rate, I was no longer aware of the time of day.
For Suspense, Roma Wines are bringing you as stars, Mr. Alan Jocelyn and Mr. William
Bendix, whom you are hearing in Pearls are a Nuisance by Raymond Chandler, which is Roma
Wines' presentation tonight of Suspense.
Between the acts of suspense, this is Truman Bradley for Roma Wines.
We quote now a brief word from the famous hostess, Elsa Maxwell.
The delicious flavor of tender broiled chicken, the succulents of spring lamb garnished with
mint leaves, deserves the matchless flavor complement of Roma California sauce herons.
This delicate wine, pale gold in color, delightful in bouquet, is a delicious flavor mate with
fish or fowl.
Yes, just as the musical conductor blends the tones of different instruments, so the
knowing hostess can combine the flavors of food with wine.
Each glass full of Roma Sauternes is alight with Roma's rich heritage in winemaking.
Here is a masterpiece of the winegrower's age-old skill, and all Roma wines, you'll find, are
always unburyingly good.
The result of carefully selected grapes, picked at the peak of perfection in sunny California's
choicest vineyards and gently pressed.
Then the natural juices are stored and guided with the ancient skill of Roma wineries to
full goodness.
Roma wines do not vary, are always high in quality, yet cost only pennies a glass.
More Americans enjoy Roma than any other wines.
R-O-M-A, Roma Wines.
And now Roma wines bring back to our Hollywood sound stage, William Bendix as J. Henry Eichelberger
and Alan Jostlin as Walter Gage in Pearls on a Nuisance, a muscular drama replete with
situations well calculated to keep you in suspense.
While I was thinking about the possibility of getting back to my feet in the very near
future, a wet towel began to slap at my face and I opened my eyes.
The face of one Henry Eichelberger was close to mine and bore a certain appearance of tender
solicitude.
You'd be all right, but I thought maybe you was killed, Jack.
You've got a stomach as weak as Chinese tea.
What happened?
As if I didn't know.
You tripped on an itty bitty tear in a carpet.
You feel like getting up?
Here, I'll give you a hand.
Come on.
Thank you, Henry.
May I call you Henry?
No tax on it.
You look okay.
Why don't you tell me you were sick?
Eichelberger, you swine, that doesn't.
What about?
You'll muss my hair.
I wish you'd fall down when I hit you, Henry.
Just once, it would do wonders for my morale.
Ah, you know, you and me could get along, Jack.
I never kiss your girl, even if I ain't saying I wouldn't like to.
Is that all that's eating on you?
Well, no, there's another matter.
Sit down and tell me the score.
Only no more haymakers, they'd give me a headache.
Promise?
I promise.
Tell me, why did you leave the employ of Mrs. Penrodoc?
You tell me, am I what you might call a good-looker?
Well, Henry...
Don't sulk me.
No, then, I wouldn't call you handsome exactly, but unquestionably you ate your spinach as
a child.
That's a consolation.
Get you a real comedian.
Wait till I loosen my belt.
Look, suppose you fell for a doll with stars in her hair.
A guy like me that looks like a taxi going down the street with both doors open.
Then suppose you get a job where you see this doll all the time and every day, what would
you do, Jack?
Me, I'd just quit the job.
Ellen?
Yeah?
I'd like to shake your hand.
Go ahead.
Now, there's one more thing, one rather insignificant detail.
I'm empowered to arrange for the return of Mrs. Penrodoc's pearls.
$50 reward and no embarrassing questions.
You got nerve, Jack.
So you think I stole some marbles and I'm sitting around here waiting for a flock of
dicks to swarm me?
The police have not been told, Henry, and you may not be aware, but the pearls are false.
False?
They're mean, they're false?
Exactly.
And you think I'd bother myself to hook some phonies?
You mean you didn't steal the necklace, Henry?
Now look, if they was ringers, I wouldn't be bothered.
And if they was real, I wouldn't be holed up in no cheap flop in L.A. waiting for a couple
of Carlos or Johns to put their sneeze on me, would I?
That's exactly what I thought, Henry.
Well, as long as you didn't steal them, how'd you like the job of helping me recover them?
Are you kidding?
No, Henry, it's obvious that if you didn't snatch these marbles, I believe that's the
expression, someone else did, and you can help me find them.
How about it?
Why not?
Why not, indeed.
Well, you got any ideas of where to start?
Yes, I have.
I feel that we must, as they say, tap the grapevine.
When a string of pearls is stolen, all the underworld must be seething.
Hmm, maybe you got right, but this underworld that's doing all this seething ain't going
to seethe much over a string of glass beads, or I might punch you.
I am thinking, Henry, that the underworld probably has a sense of humor, and a thief
who went to the trouble of stealing some worthless crinkets would be the buff of considerable
coarse jest.
Well, there's the knuckles of an idea in that.
I would say something like that could get around the pool rooms and start a little wholesome
chuckling already.
Yes, all we need to do is to locate a reliable crook.
Let's see.
Oh, there's a guy named Lou Scandizi that runs the Blue Lagoon downtown.
Might be interested in some marbles, but he don't like being asked questions.
He sounds dangerous.
Eh, we'll turn him inside out and take a look at his liver.
Very well, let us go and beard this Scandizi character in his malodorous den.
Yeah, let us go and beard, eh, leave us do what you said.
Mr. Scandizi's Blue Lagoon wasn't difficult to find.
It was a rather soiled establishment bathed in an unpleasant blue light.
Henry and I went through a small, dim dining room to a door marked private.
You Scandizi?
Ah, who wanted to know?
Me and my friend here want to talk to you.
Oh, I'll talk.
I'm not listening.
How about some pearls?
Forty-nine.
Is that right, Walter?
Quite right, Henry.
A pearl necklace that somebody hoisted.
Go on and get out before I have you thrown out.
You'll do what?
I'll do, I'll do nothing.
Oh, that's better, dough face.
What about them pearls?
Well, I, I don't think I heard about it.
That's right, I remember.
Maybe if I pulled off one of your ears, it might help.
Henry, you seem to be doing all the work.
Do you think that's quite fair?
Well, I'll get you some pearls.
I'll get you some pearls.
You seem to be doing all the work.
Do you think that's quite fair?
Well, okay, you work them over.
These fat guys grew something leather.
Oh, take it easy.
I, I ain't heard nothing.
You, uh, you guys insurance them in, huh?
Now you're cooking with helium, dough face.
Well, what's insurance company you boys work for?
Give them our card, Walter.
No, this is my personal card.
I have my phone number on it.
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay, okay.
You may be surprised.
You may get a call.
What do you think, Walter?
You think this muzzle is leveling with us?
I dare say he wouldn't be above telling us an untruth.
Get you a real comedian.
Wait till I loosen my belt.
You giving us a straight good, Scandizzi?
Straight goods, absolute.
We'll cooperate.
I bet you get a call.
Okay, so long, Scandizzi.
And keep your schnozzle clean if you don't want to be looking for it under your desk,
hey.
And that goes for your cat, too, Scandizzi.
Hey.
Well?
What now?
I think we've done adequate day's work, Henry.
The procedure would seem to be for me to go home and wait for the telephone to ring, bearing
glad tidings from the underworld.
What about me?
I would suggest if you wend your way homeward also.
Here's my private number.
Call me in the morning.
Okay.
See you tomorrow.
I went home and waited for the phone to ring.
I must have fallen asleep after a while.
It was quite dark when the call came through.
Well, here goes.
Walter Gage speaking, Acme Insurance Company.
When did you become an insurance company?
Oh, it's you, Ellen.
Why didn't you call on the private phone?
Oh, I didn't have the number handy.
You haven't found the Pearls yet.
How'd you know?
We just got a telephone call.
From whom?
He wouldn't say.
All he said was he heard from somebody named San something.
Scandizzi?
That's it.
That we were looking for the Pearls.
Has he found out the Pearls are false?
No.
I didn't tell him.
All right, don't worry.
We have no idea how to get them back.
We?
Who's we?
Henry and me.
Henry who?
I go burger up.
Hired him to help me find the Pearls.
Are you out of your mind?
Didn't Henry take the Pearls?
Of course not.
He only left because he was in love with you.
Oh, Walter, that big brute.
How could you say such a thing?
Ellen, I thought you'd be flattered.
What?
I never want to speak to you again, Walter Gage.
Goodbye.
Ellen.
Oh, Ellen, I sometimes want to...
Hello, honey.
I'm so glad you called back.
Listen, darling, I...
Who you calling honey, sweetheart?
Who's this?
Never mind.
Your name Gage?
Yes.
A guy named Scandizzi?
Yes.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Your name Gage?
Yes.
A guy named Scandizzi says you're looking for some oyster fruit.
A frail named McIntosh says you're the guy to talk to.
Possibly.
Well, I got 49 of them, pal.
Pink ones.
Five grand is the price.
Why, that's absurd.
Those Pearls happen to be false.
Quit your kidding.
You heard me.
Five Gs.
I'll give you them tomorrow afternoon to scrape it together.
Then I'll call you and let you know where to meet me.
Hello?
Ellen, this is Walter.
I told you I never wanted to speak to you again.
All right, I won't speak to you.
Just tell me the name of the man who sold Mrs. Penroddick's pearls for her.
Gallimore, Roger Gallimore.
He has a jewelry company downtown.
Thank you.
Walter!
How do you do?
I'm fine.
How do you like it, darling?
I was beginning to see the light the next morning I went to see this Mr. Gallimore.
He was a tall, pink man of about 70 and he listened to my narrative of events with considerable
interest.
Hmm.
Five thousand seems like a good deal for a string of false pearls.
Yes, indeedy.
And you know what I think, Mr. Gallimore?
What, Mr. Gage?
I believe that the pearls are in fact real.
You're a very old friend of Mrs. Penroddick.
Mm-hmm.
Perhaps even a childhood sweetheart.
When she gave you the pearls to sell, you didn't sell them, Mr. Gallimore.
Instead you gave her $20,000 of your own money and returned the pearls to her pretending they
were imitations of the original necklace.
Son, you think a lot smarter than you talk.
I try very hard, Mr. Gallimore.
And I'm correct.
Embarrassingly so, Mr. Gage.
Pearls are real.
Now, what would you like me to do?
Give me $5,000 with which to get them back.
Mr. Gallimore felt much better after he'd had a glass of water.
Some hours later I managed to convince him that I knew approximately what I was doing.
He gave me a check for $5,000.
This check, Henry.
You mean he gave it to you?
Five thousand fish just like that?
You have said it.
Well, I'll be a Mickey Finn at a woman's club lunch.
Kid, you've got something with that Daisy chain shatterer of yours.
Thank you, Henry.
At any rate, all that remains now is for the phone to ring.
Aha.
You can say that again.
Very well.
Aha.
Hello?
Gage?
Yes, who's this?
Guess.
You got the dough?
It's in my pocket at this exact moment.
If I have any assurance of honorable treatment, I'm prepared to go through with it.
Oh, you get the marbles, okay.
We're in this business a long time and we can't afford the wealth.
If we did it, it'd get around and nobody would play with us.
I understand.
What are your instructions?
Tonight at 8th shop, you'll be at Pacific Palisade.
You got that?
Yeah.
At the end of the third road, corner of Sunset and Corona Del Mar, be there at 8th shop and
come alone and no gun.
No funny business, no smart work, and no slip up, nobody get hurt.
That's the way we do business.
Very well.
Oh, one last thing.
Where did you get my phone number from?
Scandici?
Who else?
Eight o'clock then and no tricks.
That is very interesting.
What, what?
The telephone.
Yeah, yeah.
Hooray for Alexander Graham.
What's his name?
But what did the guy say?
Oh, oh, yeah.
Yeah.
It's all arranged, Henry.
I'm to meet them tonight all by myself and give them the money.
All by yourself, huh?
Yet you, a real comedian, wait till I loosen my belt.
They'll take the dough and leave you laying there bleeding all over yourself and they'll
still have the marbles.
I ought to go with you.
Henry, it's my duty and I must brave these monsters and human guys alone and unattended.
Of course, I do have a big car and you could hide on the floor under a rug.
It's a cinch.
But maybe...
Well, the only thing wrong with you as far as I can see is you got holes in your head.
All I'm trying to do is keep you from getting another one.
I'm going with you.
So I was settled.
Henry was to go with me.
That afternoon I stopped at the bank where I cashed Mr. Gallimore's check and changed
it into a hundred dollar bill.
You counted as though it were your own.
Five thousand.
Five thousand?
Five thousand.
Now a roll of quarters, please.
Roll of quarters, please.
There seems to be an echo in here.
Leave them in the wrapper.
Oh, quite heavy, aren't they?
Yes, aren't they?
And so late that evening I found myself out on the Pacific Palisades with Henry Eichelberger
Boy in the back of the car.
I was very nervous.
I think Henry was also.
Neither of us were any too sure of what was going to happen that night.
Oh, me back.
What's the matter, Henry?
Aren't you comfy back there?
Oh, I'm comfy, all right.
Only my heater keeps digging into me.
Ain't we there yet?
Well, we're getting close.
Stay down.
This is business.
This is the end of the line, Henry.
Be careful.
They're probably watching me.
OK.
What's that?
It's me, Walter.
My gun is breaking my back.
Well, stop sitting on it.
I did.
Anything stirring?
No, keep quiet.
I'll make like a little mousey.
Don't you think we've waited?
I mean, don't you think we've waited long enough, Henry?
We've only been waiting 15 minutes.
You sure this is the place?
Yes, of course.
Well, let's get out of the car and see if anybody shoots at us.
Then we'll know if somebody's around.
Well, that seems to be the difficult way of finding out, but let's try it.
I personally feel sure that there's no one here but you and I.
Suck it.
You know what happened, Walter?
What do you think, Henry?
Well, it was just a tryout, that's all.
Tomorrow this guy calls again on the phone and he says, sorry, but they had to be careful
and they'll try again tonight maybe.
Maybe out in San Fernando Valley.
And the price is now 10 grand on account of their extra trouble.
I ought to go back and twist that scandisi so he spends the rest of his life looking
up his left pants leg.
Well, Henry, what's the next move?
Well, I'll feed it home, I guess.
Anyhow, I won't need this gun anymore.
My back is sore enough from it.
We stood there and looked at one another, Henry and I.
He doubled his hands into fists and shook them slowly in his sadness.
I too was melancholy.
In the brief time I'd known Henry, I'd grown very fond of him.
Yeah, yeah, that's it, all right.
That's enough to do but feed it on home, that's all that's left to us.
I took my right hand out of my pocket.
I have large hands.
In my right hand nestled the roll of quarters I'd gotten from the bank that morning.
My hand made a large and heavy fist around them.
Henry didn't notice.
What are you looking at me so funny for, Walter?
I just wanted to say good night, Henry.
You had two strikes on me.
Well, this is the big one.
I don't get it.
He got it then.
My fist with nearly a pound of metal in it caught him squarely on the jaw.
For a moment he wavered back and forth on his feet and then.
Henry Eichelberger lay motionless on the ground as limp as a rubber glove.
I found the pearls twined around his ankle inside his left sock.
Well, Henry, I said, although he couldn't hear me, you're a gentleman even if you are
a thief.
You could have taken the money a dozen times today.
You could have taken it a little while ago when you still had the gun.
But even that repelled you.
You threw the gun away and we were man to man.
But still you hesitated.
In fact, Henry, I said, for a successful thief you hesitated just a little too long.
But as a sporting man I can only think more highly of you.
Goodbye, Henry, and good luck, I said.
I put a hundred dollar bill in his chubby little fist and withdrew.
End of story.
But how did you know it was Henry, darling?
You told me so, little lemon cookie.
You were quite sure of it.
I know, but you must have had proof of some kind.
Well, there was one other minor detail that convinced me Henry was the guilty party.
I gave Scandisi my phone number, but I have two telephones.
One's a private line.
Only two people had that number.
You were one of them.
Henry was the other.
When Henry's accomplice got in touch with me, he used the phone number I'd given Henry,
not the one I gave Scandisi.
You see?
Oh, darling, you're so clever.
Of course, you may kiss me if you like.
A few months after Ellen and I were married, we received a letter postmarked, Honolulu.
It was from Henry.
My dear, dear Walter, I have only just received the joyous tidings that you and Ellen are
embarked upon the happy tide of holy matrimony.
I am so glad for you.
I often think of you, Walter, particularly with an overwhelming curiosity as to what
it was you struck me with that night.
Ah, well, I dare say it can only be conjecture on my part now, a hammer perhaps, that I allowed
my jaw to be exposed to your weapon while I stood there meditating as to whether to
take your 5,000 then or wait for 10 the following evening was a human error of judgment.
At any rate, I entertain no feelings of ill will toward you.
On the contrary, I am indebted to you greatly.
The ease with which you talked Mr. Gallimore out of $5,000 has changed my life.
I have been taking English lessons myself, and I'm now practicing on a wealthy widow
woman, not without financial success.
Our treasurer, the sport, devotedly, Henry.
P.S. was it perchance an anvil, I wonder?
You know, Henry wasn't such a bad fellow.
All I really disliked him for was his barbaric English.
Now he's changed that, maybe I should have married him.
What do you think, Walter?
Oh, it gets you.
A real comedian.
Wait till I loosen my belt.
And so closes Pearls are a Nuisance, in which Roma wines have brought you William Bendix
and Alan Jocelyn as co-stars of tonight's study in Suspense.
Suspense is produced, edited, and directed by William Spear.
Before our stars return to the microphone, let me say a word for Roma Wines, the sponsor
of Suspense.
Elsa Maxwell's hospitality is always simple and unaffected.
The other day she said,
A few old friends, some comfortable chairs, a glass or two of good Roma California sherry,
and there you have the perfect combination for a pleasant evening at home.
In fact, you'll find the light nut-like flavor of this glorious amber-golden Roma sherry
is delightful anytime.
A delicious prelude to dinner, a gracious note of hospitality whenever friends drop
in.
Best of all, Roma wines are so reasonably priced, any family can afford to serve them
regularly.
The goodness of Roma wines can add a lot to the joy of your daily living.
Always delightful, always unburyingly high in quality, yet cost only pennies a glass.
And the next time you use vermouth, sweet or dry, use Roma vermouth.
Zestful, herb-flavored Roma vermouth is blended, mellowed, developed, and bottled in California
with all the traditional winemaking skill of Roma wineries.
Try Roma vermouth soon, won't you?
This is Alan Jocelyn.
I trust that you died in the wool of Suspense fans who are accustomed to somewhat heavier
meat on these Thursday dramas, who weren't displeased with our efforts in the interests
of gaiety and insouciance.
Do you concur, Mr. Bendic-
Who gets you, a real comedian?
Where do I loosen my gallows?
Courtesy impels me to tell you that Mr. Bendic here is being heard weekly on his own radio
show, The Life of Riley, and Paramount impels me to say that he will soon be seen in their
production two years before the match.
Permit me to return the favor, hey.
Alan Jocelyn is soon going to be seen in the 20th Century Fox 30th Anniversary production,
Colonel Effingham's race.
Thanks, Bill.
No, not at all, not at all.
Next Thursday, you will hear John Payne and Stuart Irwin as stars of Suspense.
Planted by Roma Wines, R-O-M-A, made in California for enjoyment throughout the world.
This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.