The Columbia Network takes pleasure in bringing you Suspense.
Suspense, a new series of programs with one strict purpose in view, your entertainment.
Each week at this time, CBS sets aside 30 minutes to excite you, to mystify you, and
on occasion to horrify you with a catalog of the world's great thrillers.
Dramas from the stage and screen, from fiction and radio.
Dramas that bring you Suspense.
This, the second offering of a new series, is a unique one.
Certainly it is one of the very few pieces of Suspense literature that somehow manages
to tickle your funny bone while busily engaged in tingling your spine.
Make no mistake though, nobody's kidding.
CBS presents its adaptation of John Collier's well-known short story, Wet Saturday.
Yes it's a wet Saturday.
Never saw it rain harder.
I'm Princey, Frederick Princey, just an ordinary family man.
I have a son, a daughter, and a wife.
Might be out golfing now if it hadn't been for the rain.
Hi Mrs. Princey, I plan to drive over to the nurseries this afternoon for some arbiters,
the boarders you know, but...
Oh, the whole lot of them make me sick.
Yes, I'm George, sun and air.
I had a date to go punting.
Puntings.
Couldn't find the blasted punting as weather, so I'm home too.
I...
I'm Millicent.
I was going to play croquet.
That's how I happened to have a mallet.
Yes that's the Princey family.
We find them at home, Mrs. Princey, Millicent, George sprawled on a couch, Mr. Princey biting
on a dry pipe.
Their living room is dull and overstuffed.
Rain beats at the windows.
They are any middle class family at home on a wet day, except for one small item.
As you sit with them in the living room, you can see through the door to the sun porch
a pair of men's feet encased in black boots.
They look like the feet of a curate.
There's a tenseness in the room.
The air is charged with excitement, but the feet are very still.
Don't keep staring at them.
Listen to me, all of you.
Don't you see?
They hang her.
That's what they do.
They hang her.
Oh Fred, it's too awful.
Awful?
It's catastrophic.
A supposedly sweet, gentle, intelligent girl, respected, loved by the whole village, doing
a thing like this.
Think of the publicity, the disgrace.
You think I'm going to resign from the bench, the vestry, sell out and live in some foggy
hotel abroad?
Oh no, no.
I'll kill myself.
I will.
Don't be a fool.
Any more than you have been, the Governor means.
Be quiet.
It wouldn't be so bad if it were you.
Everybody in the village knows you're not responsible.
George.
Yes?
Get off that couch.
Sit up on your spine.
You might be of a little use here, if you could think.
Listen, Governor, this isn't my funeral.
Oh, shut up.
As long as I can remember, George, you've been a trial and a tribulation to me.
Oh, I can't stand it.
I can't stand it.
You've got to stand it, my dear.
And keep that hysterical note out of your voice.
Do you hear?
Yes.
We, uh, we are talking about the weather.
Now, George.
Yeah?
George, if he fell down the old well, say, striking his head several times, what about
it, eh?
I really don't know, Governor.
What about it?
Don't be an ass.
I'm asking you to think.
He'd have had to hit the side several times in 30 or 40 feet and at all the correct angles.
Now, now, I'm afraid not.
I'm afraid not.
We'll have to go over it all again, Millicent.
Oh, no, Father.
No, no.
I couldn't.
Millicent, we must go over it all again.
Oh, Fred, you're torturing her.
Oh, face facts, Mater, with him lying there.
That's no use pretending it's a picnic.
They might hang you, Millicent.
Oh, stop that shaking.
Stop it here.
You must stop it.
You must keep your voice quiet.
Millicent, we are talking of the weather.
Now, we will proceed.
I can't.
Not without boots there.
Oh, you should have thought of those boots, Millicent.
I'm not moving them.
Oh, sit up, George.
Stop shuffling your feet.
Now, Millicent, look at me.
Answer me truthfully, you hear?
Answer me.
You were in the croquet course.
Yes.
Who knew you were in love with this wretched curate?
Oh, the whole village.
They've been sniggering about it at the pub for three years past.
What a filthy mess.
Millicent, we continue.
You were on the croquet course.
You were putting the croquet set into its box.
Yes.
It was starting to rain.
I was carrying the balls and mallets into the sun porch.
The box was there.
You heard someone enter the garden gate and come across the yard.
Yes.
Could you see who it was?
Oh, not at first.
I was going into the sun porch.
I threw down all the mallets at the red one and turned around.
It was Withers?
Yes.
So you called him?
Yes.
Loudly?
Did you call him loudly?
Could anyone have heard?
No, Father, I'm sure not.
I didn't really call him.
I just spoke his name.
He saw me as I went to the door.
He just waved his hand and he came over.
How can I find out from you whether there was anywhere about whether he could have been
seen?
I'm sure not, Father.
I'm quite sure.
So you both went into the sun porch.
Yes.
It was raining hard then.
What did he say?
He said, hello, Millie.
And excuse his coming in the back way, but he set out to walk over to Lisbon.
Yes.
He said, passing the park, he'd seen the house, and suddenly thought of me.
And he thought he'd just look in for a moment.
He had something to tell me.
Go on.
He said he was so happy.
He wanted me to share it.
He'd heard from the bishop he was to have a vicarage.
And it wasn't only that.
It meant he could marry, but then he began to get all confused.
And of course, I thought he meant me.
Don't tell me what you thought.
Tell me exactly what he said, nothing else.
Well, well, oh dear.
Oh, stop crying.
It's a luxury you can no longer afford.
Tell me what happened.
He said, no.
He said it wasn't me.
It's Ella Bregdon Davis.
And he was sorry.
And all that.
Then he went to go.
And then?
I went mad.
He turned his back.
I had the red mallet of the croquet fit in my hand.
I forgot to drop it in the box when he came.
Did you shout or scream?
I mean, as you hit him?
No.
I'm sure I didn't.
Did he?
Come on, speak up.
No, Father.
And then?
I threw it down.
I came straight in here.
I went to look for Mother.
Oh, God.
My poor baby.
No.
No, I don't leave the child alone, Fred.
Not such a child, Mater.
Milly, I had no idea you had...
Keep quiet.
I'm thinking.
You see, George, he probably told people he was going to listen.
Certainly no one knows he came here, for he didn't decide until he crossed the park.
He might have been attacked in the woods.
We must consider every detail.
A curate with his head battered in.
Don't, Father.
Don't.
A curate, head, battered in.
Now, who would want to kill with us?
Who would kill with us?
Well, I would with pleasure.
How do you do, Milly, Princy?
Captain, Captain Smarter.
Oh, sit down, pray.
You mustn't get up for me, Mrs. Princy.
You either, Milly.
My word.
Just being neighborly on a bad day.
I wanted to ask you about those denier bulbs, Princy.
Took a short cut on account of the rain and walked right in.
Knew you wouldn't mind.
Oh, you have a good eye.
I'm not a doctor.
I'm a doctor.
My dear, we can all have our little jokes.
Don't pretend to be shocked.
This way, Smarter.
This chair facing the fireplace.
Sit down, mother.
Just straightening the curtains to the sun porch, dear.
It looks so gloomy out there.
I might as well shut the rain out.
Just talking about the little theoretical cure-it-killing, Smarter.
You know, I could never have imagined it.
It seems to me it's a great thing.
killing Smalley. You know, young people these days like thrillers.
Parsonicide. Justifiable parsonicide. If you heard about Ella Bragdon, Davis, I
should be most properly laughed at. Why? Why should you be laughed at, Smalley?
No, and a shot in that direction myself. She half said yes, too.
Haven't you heard? She told most people. Now it'll look as if I got turned down for a
white rat in a dog collar. Oh, too bad. Oh, fortune of war. Yes, fortune of war. Odd how it
happens, isn't it? Sit down, Smalley. Millicent, console Captain Smalley with your best light
conversation. You two mother. George and I have something to look at outside. There's this
rain, you know, very bad, very bad. Come, George. Right, old Governor. Maybe we'll need raincoats,
what? Oh, I don't think so. Just make yourself at home, Smalley. Make yourself at home.
A cigarette, Captain Smalley? Thank you. Thank you. Nasty day to be going out.
Something about the old well. Just off the Sunforged Door, you know. This terrible
sudden weather seems to have loosened some of the stones. Oh, too bad. Dash too bad. Spoils the
tennis and croquet, I mean, a day like this, doesn't it, Millie? Doesn't it, Millie? Oh,
yes, it does. She was practicing out on the croquet court earlier, but, oh, do pull your
chair nearer the fire, Captain. It was so damp, we thought it would be cozy to light it. Thank
you. I'm quite comfortable. I hope you don't feel too bad about Anna Davis. Can't always win.
Can't see, though, what you women see in these bloodless clerics. Oh, I always thought Mr.
Witherswaas is a very charming man. Quite agree, but why should anyone want to marry him? You
wouldn't want to marry him, would you, Millie? Not now. Very right. Are you? Oh, oh, no.
Of course not. Smalley. Yes, yes, Prince Hymn. Good Lord, Manu, to come in all of a sudden.
Yes, I did. Oh, don't mind this old double-barreled shotgun. Been working on it. Smalley,
may I have your attention for a minute? There's something on the sun porch I'd like to show you.
Why, yes, yes, of course. Smalley, George and I went out to see if we could shoot some rats which
have been driven out of the old well by the high water. Afraid they might get into the house. Now,
you must listen to me very carefully. Very carefully, or you will be shot by accident. Princey,
what's got into you? You heard me ask as you came in who would kill Withers. You also heard
Millicent make a comment, an unguarded comment. Well, what of it? Very little. Unless you were
to hear that Withers had met a violent end this very afternoon. And that, my dear Smalley, is what
you are going to hear. What? Withers? Yes. Who killed him? Millicent. Good Lord. Yes, it's a mess.
And of course you would have remembered and guessed. Maybe, yes, yes, I suppose I should.
Therefore you constitute a problem. Why did she kill him? Oh, it's one of those disgusting things.
Pityable too. She deluded herself that he was in love with her. Good heavens, Millie. Oh, yes,
of course. I see. He had told her about the Davis girl. I understand. Now, I have no wishes. You
will comprehend. She should be proved either a lunatic or a murderous. I could hardly go on
living here after that. I suppose not. On the other hand, you know about it. Yes, I see that.
Makes me a problem. You're wondering if I could keep my mouth shut if I promise. I am wondering
if I could believe you. But if I promise. If things went smoothly, yes, but not if there was any sort
of suspicion, any questioning. You would be afraid of being an accessory. Why, I don't know. I do.
What are we going to do? I can't see anything else. You'd never be a fool enough to do me,
Ian. You can't get rid of two corpses. Oh, I regard it as a better risk than the other. It could be an
accident. Or you and Withers could both disappear. There are possibilities in that. Listen, you can't.
I can, but there may be a way out. There is. Smollett, you gave it to me yourself. I did what?
You said you would kill Withers. You have a motive. Look here, I was joking. Of course you saw that.
You are always joking. Listen, Smollett, I can't trust you. You must trust me. Else I will kill you
now in the next minute. I mean that. You can choose between dying and living. Go on. Now,
there's the old way just outside the Sunport store. That's where I'm going to put Withers. No one
outside knows he has come up here this afternoon. No one will ever look there for him unless you
tell them. You must give me evidence that you have murdered Withers. I murdered him? Why do you want
that? So that I shall be dead sure that you will never open your lips on the subject. I see. What
evidence? George, hit him in the face. Sure. George, don't. Keep out of this. Captain, you should be more
careful. Look what your teeth did to my knuckles. Again, George. Okay. I can't stand it. Keep quiet.
You women keep out of this. I'm sorry, Smollett, but there must be traces of a struggle between you
and Withers. Then it will not be altogether safe for you to go to the police. But can't you take my
word, man? I will when we are finished. George, get the croquet merit. Right, Governor. Take your
handkerchief to it in there on the Sunport floor. Yes. Yes, I got it, Governor. There, Captain.
There's the weapon. As I told you, Smollett, now you just grasp the end that mashed Withers' head.
I shall shoot you if you don't. But good Lord, you can't. All right. There. That's it. Now deposit it
out by the side of the house, out of the rain, of course. No. Wait, George. First, you'd better pull
a few hairs out of his head and put them under the nails of Withers' right hand. Princey, have you
gone mad? Do you know what you're doing? With this gun? Yes. Go ahead, George. Sorry to mush your
hair up, Captain. Shut up, Smollett. There. That's all we need. Now for Withers, and we'll fix it right up.
Be right with you, Governor. Smollett, you may turn around. Withers is just there in the Sunport.
Draw back the curtain. Good Lord, Princey. Yes. Messy. But we'll get him fixed up. Now you, Smollett,
you've just got to drag him through the door and dump him in the old well. Just beyond the door,
Captain. I won't touch him. I won't. All right. Stand aside. Out of range, George. Right. Only one
place I want this bullet to go. Father. Father. Keep quiet. My aim's not too good. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. That's better, Smollett. Much better. Go on now. In here. You'll have to take him
outside. By the shoulders ought to do it, Captain. Keep quiet, George. Go on, Smollett. Go on. You've
seen dead men before. Drag him. Drag him. I'll just hold the gun here to make sure that everything
goes all right. Oh, Mother. Come away from the din, Wendoldia. Don't look. But Captain Smollett,
your father is a very resourceful man, Millicent. I'm sure what he's doing is right. But the Captain,
I can't, I can't stand it. You mustn't question your dear father. I say, are you two still at it?
There's enough trouble around here without blubbering. I'm not blubbering, George. So you see, Smollett,
everything is perfect. They never look in our well. You see how safe it is? I guess it is. Oh,
good heavens, man. You're dripping wet. Why didn't you slip your raincoat on? Tea ready, my dear?
In just a minute, dear. I'll bring for Bridget. Exactly what you need, Smollett. Cup of tea. Best
thing in the world to ward off a cold. Sit down, won't you? Don't mind getting the chair wet.
Cigarette? Help yourself. I stick to my pipe, you know. Funny how... Everything is hot,
man. Oh, Bridget, yes. Put the tray in front of me here, on the table. That's it. I say,
Captain, you've gone and cut your lip. I just knocked it. Oh, how dreadful. Here, Bridget,
sit for Captain this cup. No, no, thank you. I rather think I'll be running along now,
if you don't mind. Why, Captain Smollett, without any tea? If you don't mind, Mrs. Princey,
if I could just have my raincoat. I'll get it for you, Captain. Oh, this is very distressing,
Smollett, very. I'll be all right presently, I'm sure. Here we are now. Let me help you.
Thank you. Thank you, young man. There. I'd better go out the front way, Smollett. The walk is dry.
Oh, let me hold the door for you, Captain. Don't worry, old fellow. Don't worry at all.
Oh, no, no, I... Good afternoon. Nothing serious, I imagine. He'll rest and he'll be as right as rain.
By the way, Millicent, you're not looking any too well. No, not well at all. I'm sure it was
that croaky court. Being outdoors in weather like this is simply foolhardy. The maid is right,
Millie. You saw what happened to Captain Smollett. Come along, dear. I shall give you a hot foot bath
and put you to bed. And a couple of days in bed and you'll be fine again. Get plenty of rest,
Millicent, and don't worry about a thing. That's the best cure. Well, I guess I'll have a little rest,
too, Governor. It's a fine afternoon for a nap. Indeed it is, son. Well, enjoy yourself. I'll see
you later. I'll see you all later. Your number, please. Oh, would you get me the police station,
please? Police station? Right away, sir. Police headquarters, Sergeant Yancy speaking. Oh, hello,
Sergeant. This is Princey of Abbots Road. I believe you know me. Oh, indeed I do, Mr. Princey.
Sergeant, a horrible thing has just happened. Quite extraordinary. Murder, in fact. Murder? I'm
afraid it looks rather bad for, well, for a close friend of ours, unfortunately. We saw him do it.
I think you'd better send someone over right away. Our man should be there right about now,
Mr. Princey. I beg your pardon? I say, our man should be there now. Constable Martin has his post
right below your house there. Just rang in. Seems Captain Smollett was with him. Captain Smollett?
He reported some rather queer goings-on at your place, but I certainly didn't understand it was
murder. Just don't touch anything, Mr. Princey, and don't worry. Don't worry at all. No. No,
no, no. I won't, Sergeant. Thank you. Governor! Governor, where are you? I'm right here. Stop
shouting. We, we have some visitors, Governor. Oh, yes. Yes, yes, I can see that. Well, Constable,
good afternoon. Good afternoon, Mr. Princey. And Smollett, I see what a remarkable fellow you are,
coming back like this. Here to reenact the crime? Only the one against me, Princey. The one against
the curate. I'll leave to you people. Extraordinary sense of humor. Mr. Princey, I just had to look
at what's in your well. Not to criticize that, not pretty at all. Yes, Captain Smollett was
thorough, if nothing else. You saw him when he did it, sir, out in the back? Oh, quite. We were just
returning from a walk. Smollett evidently had been laying for the curate, hiding out in those
bushes by the road, I imagine. He was never inside this house? Never. And you say, Captain? I say
that while I was inside this house, a guest of the family, I was coerced into dragging the curate's
body outside and dumping it in the well. Well, there we are. Not entirely, Constable. I'll just
remove my raincoat, there, and demonstrate how damp I got my clothes when I went outside without it.
No, that's interesting, isn't it? Quite. He undoubtedly removed his coat at some point between
here and your post. I might as well tell you that his weapon, a red croquemallet, is out by the side
of the house. I shouldn't be at all surprised but that you'd find his fingerprints all over it. All
over the end of the mallet, Constable, the end that mashed Withers's head, and not the end I'd
have had to grasp in order to do the mashing. Governor, that's a decent try, Smollett, but it
won't work. There must be other evidences, Constable. You'll undoubtedly find them when you examine the
body. He means my hair under Withers's nails. Well, sir, if you look carefully, I believe you'll find
a few of my precious hairs under his son's nails, too. Here, what are you trying at? Constable,
this is an utter waste of time. So far as the violence struggle between Smollett and Withers is
concerned, Smollett's face speaks for itself, quite eloquently, I believe. Oh, but no more eloquently
than your son's knuckles. As you see, Constable, a fresh abrasion. He did that on my teeth. Or did
he? What? I say, or did he? He might have done that on Withers's teeth. Oh, I see. I see what you mean.
But, but, but I didn't. Governor, he said I... Oh, keep still, you nitwit. Let me think. Let me think.
As a matter of fact, George, the more I think of it, the more I'm convinced it was your voice I
heard. Quite a vigorous quarrel. Something about the curate juking your sister. Oh, don't be ridiculous,
Smollett. Very well, Princey. If your son didn't do it, who did? That's what I'd like to know. How
about it, Mr. Princey? Well, that, that is a sticker, all right. George, my boy, it looks like you're
elected. Elected? What do you mean? I didn't do it. Why, I don't... Keep your mouth shut, will you? I won't.
I'm not going to take the blame for her. Millie did it. She did it with that mallet, I saw. You could
prove that? Prove it? I, I... Yes, her, her fingerprints on the mallet, the handle. Why, George, don't you
remember when you made me touch the mallet, when you picked it up with your handkerchief? No, I...
George, I'm sure you wiped that handle clean. Oh, well, I could hardly expect you to remember that,
if you, if you can't even remember killing the curate. Governor, I... I told you to keep still.
But Governor, you're not going to turn me over, you... As long as I can remember, George, you've been a
trial and a tribulation to me. Governor, I... You shouldn't have done it, son. You really shouldn't.
No, George, that was definitely wrong. I say, Princey, I think I'll have that cup of tea after all.
Nothing like it in weather like this. Wet Saturday, from the short story by John Collier. You have
just heard the second in Columbia's new series, a series designed to bring you the best in thrill
entertainment. Outstanding dramas from the field of fiction and radio, stage and screen. Dramas of
pure suspense. This Columbia feature is produced and directed by Charles Vanda, with script by
Harold Bedford and score by Bernard Herman. Be with us again next week at the same time when we
present Suspense. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.